Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/George Floyd (American football)/archive2

George Floyd (American football)

 * Nominator(s): Therapyisgood (talk) 00:16, 29 November 2021 (UTC)

This article is about... George Floyd, the American football player turned educator. He played for the New York Jets for several years in the 1980s, until a third knee injury forced him to retire. He set several records at Eastern Kentucky University, some of which still stand today. All the comments from the first FAC have been addressed, save converting from imperial to metric throughout the article, which I'm still trying to get a consensus on at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject National Football League. Hopefully a consensus can arise so this can be a featured article. Therapyisgood (talk) 00:16, 29 November 2021 (UTC)

Hatnote discussion
can you review the article as well? Therapyisgood (talk) 22:43, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
 * I won't be !voting one way or the other on this, but I don't think the discussion on a hatnote has been fully settled. Fundamentally, hatnotes are warranted any time a reader might reasonably be confused, and the pageview data seems to indicate plenty of that. There's a massive WP:PRIMARYTOPIC disparity, and there's the fact that the other Floyd did play football. Looking at it another way, if this ever became the TFA, I would be utterly unsurprised if we got a comment along the lines of "why don't we mention how he died?" All that points to a common sense need for a hatnote. &#123;{u&#124; Sdkb  }&#125;  talk 08:39, 1 December 2021 (UTC)


 * Sorry, no; I'm not particularly interested in sports articles. &#123;{u&#124; Sdkb  }&#125;  talk 22:50, 12 December 2021 (UTC)

Driveby comment from AryKun

 * Noticed that both the images are missing alt text. AryKun (talk) 11:00, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
 * Added, thanks. Therapyisgood (talk) 13:07, 1 December 2021 (UTC)

Comments Support from Kavyansh.Singh
Completely non-expert review. Let me know if I am wrong anywhere: Otherwise, I feel the prose fine and easy enough for me to understand. Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:26, 9 December 2021 (UTC) comments responded to, thanks. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:34, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "Jets' 1982 season" — Since "1982 season" is linked to 1982 New York Jets season, I think that "Jets'" should be piped inside the link.
 * Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 19:03, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "1985 NFL preseason" — in this case, 1985 should be piped out of the link, since it is linked to just NFL preseason
 * Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 19:03, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "into the College Football Hall of Fame, EKU's Hall of Fame, and Hernando High School's Hall of Fame." — can we rephrase so we don't have to repeat "Hall of Fame" three times?
 * Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 19:17, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "game against Inverness Citrus" — our article calls it "Citrus High School"
 * Source says Inverness Citrus, it probably changed names. Therapyisgood (talk) 19:17, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
 * There is inconsistency in writing numbers. Most of the numbers above nine are spelled, but "68 tackles", "72-yard", "63 tackles, seven TFLs ", etc. are not.
 * Believe I've caught all these. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:34, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
 * As we link Sophomore, shouldn't we link Junior (education) in "As a junior in high school, Flowd ..."?
 * Linked on first use. Therapyisgood (talk) 18:56, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
 * I am satisfied with the responses/changes. I Support the article for its promotion as a featured article! Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 05:49, 13 December 2021 (UTC)

Comments from Mike Christie
Leaning oppose. There are some prose issues, which I've listed below. I don't see any way to avoid a high density of sports jargon in an article like this, but that means you have to take extra care to make it comprehensible with no sports background. The high number of abbreviations (DPOW, EKU, OVC, TTT, GC, TFL) makes it harder to read too, though I can see why you introduce them. I would suggest trying to get a review from someone who writes sports FAs but is not particularly familiar with American football. , would you be able to take a look at this? -- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:28, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "Floyd was named to The Tampa Tribune's honorific all-area football team in all three of his varsity years, the first player to do so": "honorific" is the wrong word here; it means an honour that has few or no associated duties. And "to do so" is not right either: the verb structure for a phrase like that has to parallel the first part of the sentence, but we don't have a verb of doing -- instead there's the passive "was named".
 * Cut "honorific". Changed to "At Hernando, Floyd was named to The Tampa Tribune's all-area football team in all three of his varsity years, the first player to be so named." Hopefully that's right. Therapyisgood (talk) 15:39, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "where he won the 1979 NCAA Division I-AA football championship with the Colonels": not really a prose issue, but I'd suggest cutting "with the Colonels"; you haven't said it's the nickname for EKU and it doesn't add anything for the reader.
 * Cut. Therapyisgood (talk) 15:05, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "Floyd holds or ties for five records": would be better as something like "Floyd is the holder or joint holder of"
 * Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 15:05, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "In a game against North Marion High School": a new paragraph so we don't know if this is the junior or senior season.
 * Added. Therapyisgood (talk) 15:05, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "Floyd became the first player named to the TTT's team during all three varsity seasons": "the" is redundant (the first T in TTT stands for "the"); and is this statement true of all schools or just Hernando? And as a non-native I'm not clear what a "varsity season" is.
 * Removed "the". Linked "varsity". Clarified "of any high school". Therapyisgood (talk) 15:22, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * What is "class 3A"? A link might be enough, depending on what the explanation is.
 * A school classification, linked and explained. Therapyisgood (talk) 01:02, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "Floyd wanted to play college football for the University of Georgia as a senior, but instead attended Eastern Kentucky University (EKU) of the Ohio Valley Conference (OVC)." It took me a second to realize that "senior" here referred to when Floyd was a high school senior.  And you don't give any explanation; was he turned down by Georgia?  Or did he change his mind?
 * Presumably he changed his mind, but there's nothing in the sources to say so. Added "as a senior" with a link above. Therapyisgood (talk) 15:22, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "He served as captain of the Leopards' defensive unit": if "the Leopards" is the nickname for the Hernando team, you need to say that somewhere. Ditto for the EKU Colonels in the next section -- something like "Floyd's first start for the Colonels (the nickname for the EKU sports teams)" would do.  And you don't say that this was as a freshman, which as an outsider I would think is relevant -- presumably not every college footbal player gets a start on the team as a freshman?
 * Added freshman. Therapyisgood (talk) 00:28, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
 * I mention "Hernando Leopards" on first use in the second sentence under the "Early life" section and "EKU Colonels" in the first sentence under "Collegiate career". Therapyisgood (talk) 00:54, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "Before the 1980 season": I had to go back through the previous paragraph to figure out that this was his junior year; the only dates you give prior to this are that 1975 is his high school sophomore year, and that they won the 1979 I-AA championship. Another date wouldn't hurt somewhere in that time period to nail down the seasons a bit more.
 * Added year. Therapyisgood (talk) 01:05, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "Floyd appeared at both safety spots." I don't know what this means.
 * Explained. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:42, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "Floyd tried out to become the Jets' punt returner": "tried out to become" is clumsy.
 * Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 15:51, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * 'On August 12, Filip Bondy of the New York Daily News stated Floyd had the defensive backfield reserve spot "wrapped up".' Why are we including this? I don't know what "defensive backfield reserve spot" means, but in any case the very next sentence says he changed positions, so why does it matter what a journalist thought, particularly as it appears he got it wrong?
 * The journalist was not wrong, the defensive backfield includes cornerback. "Defensive backfield" is the link, "reserve spot" just means he was not a starter. Therapyisgood (talk) 00:04, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
 * I could link defensive backfield in the article, but it just redirects to defensive back. Therapyisgood (talk) 00:06, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "Floyd recovered a fumble and made a few "All-Pro hits", according to an article in the TTT.": not sure this is worth mentioning -- we're talking about a Jets game, and this is presumably his hometown paper covering a local boy, so would be expected to be positive. Is the source just a game report that makes no mention of Floyd's origin?
 * Cut. Therapyisgood (talk) 23:57, 16 December 2021 (UTC)

TRM
Per above, I'd be more than happy to take a look at this article with a view to ensuring it's accessible to both sports and non-sports (especially non-American football) readers. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 20:15, 16 December 2021 (UTC) Right, that takes me to "Floyd shared OVC DPOW...", lunch calls, more to come. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 11:50, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "attended Hernando High School. At Hernando" repetitive. Perhaps merge with "where"?
 * Reworked. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:27, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "named to ... so named" is jarringly repetitive.
 * Reworked. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:27, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "NCAA Division I-AA football championship" say what??
 * Linked. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:22, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "starting free safety before the 1975 season" which sport, which "season"?
 * added. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:29, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "on offense as a halfback. On offense" repetitive.
 * Reworded. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:30, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "primarily in blocking situations" could this not be "primarily for blocking"?
 * I believe there is a difference. Therapyisgood (talk) 21:02, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "he had an interception" don't people "make" interceptions?
 * I believe they're interchangeable. Therapyisgood (talk) 21:00, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "three varsity seasons.[15][16][17] After the season" repetitive.
 * Reworded. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:34, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "second-team Class 3A all-state squad" say what??
 * Added a note, does that help? Therapyisgood (talk) 20:37, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "he made nine interceptions in a single season," which season, isn't this better described above in the actual season he did it?
 * Moved around. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:48, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * Tackle for loss needs to be fixed as the redirect points to a non-existent heading. Wouldn't this be better included in the glossary of terms?
 * Fixed redirect. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:51, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "and started every game" this seems odd to be tagged on at the end, it would make more sense to me if it was "He started every game and ..."
 * Changed per above. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:54, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
 * "returned an interception one hundred yards and scored a touchdown; the one hundred yard return tied a conference record" repetitive, why not "returned an interception one hundred yards, tying a conference record, and scored a touchdown"?
 * Changed per above. Therapyisgood (talk) 21:00, 18 December 2021 (UTC)


 * Coordinator comment - - any follow ups here? Hog Farm Talk 19:49, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
 * I'd like to wait for TRM to finish his review before revisiting; I know TRM does a good job at addressing jargon in his reviews. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 19:53, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
 * I'm really sorry to be a drag, I'm taking a Christmas break from most things, and this is suffering for it. I hope to be back in the groove in a few days time.  The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 19:18, 1 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Coordinator comment - with only one support and a leaning oppose after over a month in, this nomination is liable to be archived without further movement towards promotion over the next couple days. Hog Farm Talk 15:11, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

- I hate to do this, but with this one stalled out to the extent it is, I'm going to have to archive it. I recommend seeing if will be able to complete their review outside of the FAC, and then see if  will be able to take a pre-FAC look before the next FAC. Hog Farm Talk 14:50, 6 January 2022 (UTC)

Hog Farm Talk 14:50, 6 January 2022 (UTC)