Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Hawaii hotspot/archive1


 * The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 07:18, 6 July 2009.

Hawaii hotspot

 * Nominator(s): ErgoSum • talk • trib  06:06, 22 June 2009 (UTC), Res Mar  06:06, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

I am nominating this for featured article because the article has undergone a major improvement within the past month or two. I have been working with ResMar to improve the references, images, and prose. I've done all I can for it, a Peer Review was recently completed and now I think its ready. ErgoSum • talk • trib 06:06, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Wow, epic fail. 4 days and no comments. :( Res Mar 19:11, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * They will come. If we review other noms and ask them to review ours perhaps we can get some action going. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  20:16, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Oppose - mainly because of problems with the prose. *Could the nominators justify the excessive use of quotation marks as in "hotspots", "hotspot", "mid-plate", "Big Island",  "Hawaiian", "bump", "established", "evidence", "leaky",  "plume head", "trail", "crack and magma", "leak",  "great fissure", "attached", "shell", "saddles", "lava trees",  "runny", "battle", and "blessing"? *Here, "The Hawaii hotspot is one of the best known and most heavily studied" - the sources do not seem to say this. *"A bend in the chain at 41 and 43 million years ago sharply divides the Hawaiian and Emperor sections" -which formed? *"where volcanic activity is to be expected" - how about often occurs? *"But theorized "hotspots" can occur far from any boundary" - theorized? *This is cumbersome "At this speed, the Kure and Midway atolls have been traced to where the present island of Hawaii is now about 30 million years ago." *"is dated to 82 million years" B.C? A.D, old? *"Alternate" - should be "alternative". *Here, "The Hawaii hotspot is unique, considering the vast majority of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions occur near plate boundaries, but the Hawaiian Islands are an exception, as the nearest plate boundary is more than 3,200 kilometers (1,988 mi) away." - I challenge the use of "unique" since we have have "vast majority" and not "all others". *In this confusing sentence, "The direction, distance between, and size of the chain and its volcanoes presumably indicate the direction and speed of movement of the Pacific Plate, and records the history of plate movement." should "records" be " record"? *"came up with" - is lazy writing. *"in order to" - spot the redundancy? *"The theory claimed" - I am not sure a theory can claim anything. *More redundancy here, " At a point roughly 40–50 million years ago" *"Pele's seaweed are sheets of brownish volcanic glass which form when pāhoehoe lava pours into the ocean." - which or that? If we want to retain "which" it needs a preceding comma. *More redundancy here, "its rate of eruption gradually increases over a period of several hundred thousand years". *"The lava produced is pressurized by the sea, disallowing explosive eruptions" - I am not sure "disallowing" is the right word. *"For that reason, the typical type of lava is pillow lava, typical of underwater volcanic activity." _ typical....typical These are just a few examples, I do not think the article is of FA standard yet. Graham Colm Talk 16:16, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Would you like me to remove all or just some of them? Some of them are probably unnecessary, but ones such as "great fissure", "plume head", "crack and magma" should probably stay as they are direct quotes and are not necessarily commonly used terms. But it wouldn't bother me to delete them all. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I have removed the ones I think were unnecessary. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  18:18, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Number 2, 5th paragraph- "Hawaii is perhaps the best known hotspot". #3, 1st paragraph- "Perhaps the best-known [hotspot] is located beneath the active volcanoes of Hawaii". New source added $4, "Hawaii's hot-spot volcanoes are the most studied in the world" -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * "Most volcanic activity occurs along some type of tectonic plate boundary" - some type?
 * Volcanoes occur around mostly subduction zones, but that doesn't exclude other boundaries, so I thought it was best to be nonspecific. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Previous sentence states "The volcanoes of the chain range in age from 20 years to 82 million years, progressing steadily in age from southeast to northwest, and most of them are in an advanced state of deterioration. A bend..." -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed to "theoretical". -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I have added the word "ago". -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Done. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * How about "unusual"? -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed and re-worded entire sentence, you are right it was pretty confusing. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I didn't write it, but I changed it "proposed". -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Removed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed to "Tuzo claimed". -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  17:19, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  18:18, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * "This seeming coincidence may indicate that the lithosphere acts as a lid on melting by arresting the ascent of the magma." - a lid?
 * What would you prefer? -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  18:18, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  18:18, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Removed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  18:18, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed to "preventing". -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  18:18, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  18:18, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * The article is much improved. I have made a few more edits today, mainly to tackle redundancy and issues with the grammar. My remaining major concern is the very long bulleted list under the Challenges section; it is too long, spoils the flow and would be better as prose. The article still requires an image review and have all of Ealdgyth's comments on the sources been addressed? PS. I think you might attract more comments if you made your signature less garish. Graham Colm Talk 18:11, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I wouldn't consider the list that long, but thats fine. Change it if necessary. I have responded to all of Ealdgyth's comments, but I have not received a response. Is this color better? :) --  ErgoSum • talk • trib 18:54, 7 July 2009 (UTC)


 * Comments -
 * You've mixed using the Template:Citation with the templates that start with Cite such as Template:Cite journal or Template:Cite news. They shouldn't be mixed per WP:CITE.
 * Done. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  16:19, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Per the MOS, link titles in the references shouldn't be in all capitals, even when they are in the original
 * Done. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  16:19, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Please spell out abbreviations in the notes. Yes, they are linked, but you don't want your readers to leave your article, they might never return
 * I'm confused, you mean the "USGS" notes? Those links do not leave the article. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  16:19, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * You some of the abbreviations (such as SOEST and USGS) in the references themselves. Most folks aren't going to know what that abbreviation means, so it's better to spell them out. Ealdgyth - Talk 19:39, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Changed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  19:50, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Current ref 2 has the publisher of the information (The USGS) in the title. Please break it out as a separate section in the ref
 * I also formatted it to keep it consistent. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  16:19, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Journal titles in the references should be in italics, and the title of the article goes in quotation marks. (I noted current ref 6 Wilson, J. T., current ref 8 Whittaker,
 * Formatted. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  16:19, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * What makes the following reliable sources?
 * http://openlearn.open.ac.uk/mod/resource/view.php?id=172197
 * This is a free learning project, see here. References are provided for the images. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  19:44, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * http://www.mantleplumes.org/index.html
 * This is an open project among scientists, which publishes peer reviewed papers, see here. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  19:44, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * http://geowords.com/histbookpdf/g08.pdf
 * This is an online version of a published book, see here or here. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  19:44, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/SYNBAPS
 * Changed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  19:44, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * http://www.solarviews.com/eng/hawaii.htm
 * References are provided. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  20:50, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * http://www.peaklist.org/lists.html
 * Hmm, I'm not an expert on mountains, but I see this site used as a reference for peaks a lot. Probably could be replaced if necessary. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  20:50, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I have replaced this ref. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  20:22, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
 * http://scienceray.com/
 * Changed. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  19:07, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
 * http://library.thinkquest.org/J003007/Disasters2/volcano/formed/formed.htm
 * Removed, the statement supported by this ref was redundant anyway. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  19:07, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
 * http://www.geology.sdsu.edu/how_volcanoes_work/flow_features.html
 * This site is sponsored by NASA and maintained by a professor, see here. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  19:07, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
 * http://www.coffeetimes.com/pele.htm (Okay, it's a print magazine, but it's put out by a coffee company... surely you have a better source?)
 * Agreed, replaced with reliable book of mythology. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  20:50, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * The following refs are lacking publishers:
 * Current ref 15 (rance Hugh)
 * Current ref 27 (P., Wessel...)
 * Current ref 84 (Dyar..)
 * Done, done, and done. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  20:50, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Decide if you're going with last name first or first name first for your authors in the references
 * Done. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  20:50, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Current ref 54 (The Horn of Africa". On the Volcanoes of the World (Science Channel). 2009-06-06.) is this a TV show? I'm unclear what it is from the ref
 * Yes cite episode is for TV shows. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  20:50, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Current ref 64 (Decker...) needs a page number. THe book is 321 pages long.
 * Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:28, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Support an important topic and good overview. I fixed one nit, and would suggest putting the Mythology section before the History but I just like things in chronological order. Then perhaps tied together with a mention at the start of the history section about early explorers and missionaries who recorded their experiences. Maybe one of the following:









Also might mention Mahukona, a small submerged volcano off the coast of the Big Island, and perhaps Mokuaweoweo which I am going to split off from Mauna Loa, since the summit has a history of its own vs. the rift zone eruptions, but those might be too detailed. W Nowicki (talk) 20:20, 4 July 2009 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the info, I will read over these and see if there is any useful info, although I'm not sure if these would be relevant to the hotspot itself, they seem like something more suited for the Hawaii article. I also thought the "mythology" section should be first, but ResMar disagreed and we compromised by putting it last (previously it was located second to last). So I was waiting to see what others thought about it. -- ErgoSum • talk • trib  19:07, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.