Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Henry Macandrew/archive1

Henry Macandrew

 * Nominator(s): Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 14:34, 14 July 2024 (UTC)

One of the most successful cavalry commanders of the First World War, Sir Henry Macandrew would probably be more widely known if he hadn't accidentally killed himself in a pyjama-related explosion a year after the war ended. A British Indian Army officer, he fought in the Tirah campaign and Boer War before making his greatest impact commanding a division on the Western Front and in the Middle East. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 14:34, 14 July 2024 (UTC)

This breaches a few parts of the MOS without seemingly good reasons for doing so, and it would be best if you ensured it's MOS compliant before the reviews start rolling in. The points that caught my eye on a very quick look include:
 * Drive-by comments from SC


 * A five para lead (MOS:LEADLENGTH says four at most and an article of this size, is suggests, should be two or three): Four would be acceptable, but not five.
 * Shortened.


 * WP:CITEBUNDLE is probably advisable for the places with four citations, and probably those with three
 * I couldn't figure out how to bundle, something I haven't done before, without breaking a lot of ref templates. I've split out the groups of 3 and 4 references instead.


 * There are two block quotes in the Post war section that shouldn't be block quote – they should be inline as they are less than forty words, but ...
 * Changed.


 * ... they should adhere to WP:ELLIPSIS in regard to the spacing.
 * Changed.

I'll try to return with a full review later. Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 15:01, 14 July 2024 (UTC)

Image review


 * Suggest adding alt text
 * Added.


 * File:Henry_John_Milnes_MacAndrew.png: when and where was this first published and what is the author's date of death?
 * Author died in 1952.


 * Ditto File:Major_General_H_J_MacAndrew_mounted.jpg
 * File:Palestine-WW1-3.jpg: source link is dead
 * I have added the archive link.


 * File:AWMH10659Damascus.jpg: when and where was this first published? Nikkimaria (talk) 15:46, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
 * I don't know what to do about the above concerns re publication. I'm rather terrible at copyright. Is there an alternative tag I should be using for these images? Your direction would be welcome. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 15:57, 14 July 2024 (UTC)


 * I'd recommend figuring out what the earliest publication you can identify is, and then using this chart to see where that lands in terms of copyright status. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:18, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
 * I have changed the tag for File:Henry_John_Milnes_MacAndrew.png. The other two don't have any appropriate tags in that list due to author being unknown and author not dying before 1954 respectively. Unless PDM 1.0 is acceptable (as I believe CC BY-NC 3.0 AU isn't?) I'll remove them. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 16:43, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
 * I have removed the two aforementioned images and added File:IWMQ12387Damascus.jpeg instead. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 08:23, 15 July 2024 (UTC)

Prose review by Generalissima

 * Shortened lede looks good.
 * This reads as if the medal was mentioned in despatches, which I don't think is the intention; I think would be more clear
 * Done.


 * I know this is technically correct, but it made me think a word was missing. "Continued serving" might be better.
 * Done.


 * This sentence seems like it'd be clearer if the clauses were reversed;
 * Done.


 * The World War I portion is generally very solid. I'm surprised (but not too surprised) I don't have more to critique here. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 17:04, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Okay, everything looks good now. Happy to Support. Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 02:43, 15 July 2024 (UTC)

Comments by Wehwalt

 * "the Inverness College". The link here is something of an easter egg, since I don't see the words "Inverness College" in the article linked.
 * I have added a sentence in the article to make the connection.
 * "On 22 November 1889 he was admitted to the Bengal Staff Corps, having completed his probationary period, as a lieutenant and continued with the 5th Bengal Cavalry.[1][4]" I would move "as a lieutenant" to after "Corps", otherwise it seems a bit ambiguous (given he was already a lieutenant).
 * Done.
 * "Macandrew served as brigade transport officer to Brigadier-General Alfred Gaselee's 2nd Brigade" Can we cut the first "brigade"
 * Done.
 * "when he travelled to South Africa to fight in the Boer War." This implies a choice on his part, that he chose to do this rather than being sent. Is this right?
 * The sources don't stipulate one way or the other, it is likely this was an order rather than voluntary. I've changed the wording to make it a bit less wishy washy.
 * I notice time is expressed in this article are given as a.m. and p.m. Given this is a military article, should that be on the 24 hour clock?
 * Liable to confuse some readers I think; the sources also use this format.
 * "surrounding of Damascus " Is "surrounding" the proper term, or something like encirclement?
 * Changed to encirclement, which is what the source actually uses.
 * That's it.--Wehwalt (talk) 20:04, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Hi, thank you for the review! I've responded above. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 22:10, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Support Wehwalt (talk) 22:44, 16 July 2024 (UTC)

Matarisvan
Hi, my comments: I was one of the reviewers at A Class and found the article to be very well written. The only issue I have is the presence of a Dates of rank section. The images of the badges of the ranks can cause issues, since the British Army has presumably not released copyright over these. The other problem is that we already mention his promotions in chronological order in the Career section, so adding a Dates of rank section is just a summarization. You already know this, and you included such a section on a trial basis, so you should see what the other reviewers have to say on this. Ian Rose and Zawed can best help out on this, you can tag them and check out what they have to say. The article overall is in a very good condition, and I can support for promotion to FA class after we have comments from other reviewers on the aforementioned issue. Cheers Matarisvan (talk) 03:30, 16 July 2024 (UTC)


 * Hi, I've removed the offending section; if any other reviewers have opinions on it then I'd be interested to hear them, but this isn't a hill I'm even vaguely interested in dying on! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 22:13, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Also, you need to add a link for the Belfast Newsletter reference. Would this link work fine: ? I think it will. I took it from the discussion with Dumelow you had linked on the A Class review. Matarisvan (talk) 05:40, 17 July 2024 (UTC)
 * My explanation from the ACR is still true. The link would need to be provided by someone with a BNA subscription, which I do not have and has lapsed for the editor who added it. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 09:53, 17 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Could you check out the text of the URL? I don't think the link for the article given by a BNA subscriber would be any different from the one posted here. You could ask someone with a BNA subscription to open this link and check out if it loads correctly. Otherwise the URL text reveals as much. Matarisvan (talk) 17:33, 18 July 2024 (UTC)
 * I think you're probably right. Added link. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 17:36, 18 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Happy to support for promotion to FA class. Congratulations on the great article, once it gets promoted it will be the 3rd FA from the Indian milhist category after a long time. Matarisvan (talk) 19:37, 18 July 2024 (UTC)