Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/In the Aeroplane Over the Sea/archive1

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

 * ''Nominator(s):

Famous Hobo (talk) 20:10, 12 April 2020 (UTC)''

This article is about In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, one of the quintessential hipster albums. If you like indie rock, you almost certainly know about this album, and have probably already formed an opinion about it. Despite how admittedly weird this album is (this is the "semen stains the mountaintops" album), I love this album, and I'm not alone. This article has been a passion project of mine, and I think it's about ready to see an FAC nomination. Have at it. Famous Hobo (talk) 20:10, 12 April 2020 (UTC)

Spotchecks for close paraphrasing


 * Article: "In the early 1990s, a group of musicians from Ruston, Louisiana formed the Elephant 6 collective, which grew to encompass dozens of bands from the small city"
 * Source: " In the early ‘90s, Mangum and a few friends formed a now-legendary collective called Elephant Six, which grew to encompass dozens of strangely named bands"


 * Ref 31 – checks out fine, well don
 * Ref 37 (Dickinson, HuffPost): checks out fine, nicely paraphrased
 * Ref 41 (Sauerteig, PopMatters): article: "The lyrics will sometimes describe how Mangum wants to physically merge with the things he loves, which acts as a metaphor for the desire to connect with loved ones" ; source: "He packs the album full of characters trying to literally merge into each other’s bodies as a metaphor for how we yearn to connect with those we love."
 * Ref 39 (Richardson, Pitchfork): checks out fine, a clever mix of quotes and paraphrases

I shall return. Eisfbnore (会話) 04:24, 15 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Just wanted to tell you I've seen this, and I'll try to take care of these problems either tonight or tomorrow. Famous Hobo (talk) 20:36, 15 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Did some rephrasing. Famous Hobo (talk) 22:09, 16 April 2020 (UTC)

Image review
 * File:In_the_aeroplane_over_the_sea_album_cover_copy.jpg needs a more expansive FUR. Same with File:NeutralMilkHotel-InTheAeroplaneOverTheSea.ogg and File:NeutralMilkHotel-Holland1945.ogg
 * File:ItAotS_postcard_origins.jpg: as per the EU tag this needs evidence of efforts to identify author. Nikkimaria (talk) 23:47, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Ping. Nikkimaria (talk) 17:21, 2 May 2020 (UTC)

Comments by Aoba47

 * The image caption in the "Background" section should not have a period since it is not a full sentence.
 * For this sentence, "He moved to Denver and worked with Schneider to record the album On Avery Island.", I would add the year that the album was released to provide a clearer timeline for an uninformed reader like myself.
 * For this part, (he deferred to Mangum's preference for a lo-fi sound. "At first it was frustrating, but I came to enjoy it. That's how I learned to produce, doing that record, because I totally had to let go of what I thought it should be like."), I think it may be better to replace the period with a colon before the quote to better tie these two parts together.
 * I do not think the comma is necessary in this sentence: "Spillane agreed, and handed in his resignation the following day."
 * I would specify in this part, "Schneider was already producing Hooray for Tuesday for the Minders ", that Hooray for Tuesday is an album as it is somewhat vague at the moment. Maybe something like the Minders' album Hooray for Tuesday?
 * I have a clarification question as I am honestly uncertain about this. For this part, (said: "The tension of Scott being heartfelt, explosive, and Robert trying to superimpose arrangement and control, made for something nice".), should the period be inside the quotation marks since it is a full quote? I have the same question for the Richardson quote at the end of the second paragraph of the "Lyrics" subsection and the Ratliff quote at the end of the first paragraph of the "Critical reception" section.
 * Since tempo is linked in the body of the article, I would do the same in the lead for consistency.
 * For this part, "such as mutant children, communism, and semen", is there a way to link the phrase "mutant children" to clarify its meaning?
 * Since this is an album by an American band, I would use traveling instead of travelling in this part, "having dreams of travelling back in time and saving her", as that is the more conventional American spelling.
 * I am uncertain about this sentence: "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea received mostly positive reviews upon release." According to the citation, the album "received decent, plainspoken reviews" right after its release and I am not sure that translates exactly to "mostly positive reviews". I'd revise it to more clearly reflect the citation. The current wording also made me confused when I read this later part, "In contrast to the lukewarm reception surrounding the 1998 release", because I was under the impression the album received a positive reception as opposed to a lukewarm one.
 * This is probably silly, but would it be helpful to add a message board link in this part: "became common fixtures on online message boards"? I have a similar question for revisionist history in this sentence: "Winkie noted that years after its release, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea became the subject of revisionist history."
 * AllMusic is linked twice in the body of the article. There are also spots where it is written in italics and other areas where it is not so I would be consistent with one way or the other.

I hope my comments are helpful. This was a very interesting read. I have actually never heard of this album before, but that is probably since I am more of a pop and R&B guy. The article does remind me of a class I took on trauma and testimony in Holocaust literature, and I wonder what my professor would have thought about the Anne Frank references in this album. Once my comments have been addressed, I will read through the article again to make sure I did not miss anything. Have a great start to your weekend! Aoba47 (talk) 15:08, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

Comments by Cas Liber
Taking a look now...


 * The recording sessions strengthened the musicianship between Mangum and Schneider. - I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean. Sounds a bit "fluffy".


 * You have "Elephant 6" and "Elephant Six"....


 * In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is [a musically complex album, and as a result, it] is difficult to categorize into a specific genre. - you could lose the bracketed bit - presumably as it refers to the sentences after, so just let the facts speak for themselves...?


 * This is a trend for nearly every musician involved with the album. - err, what is this referring to?


 * The lyrics are [complex and at times seemingly nonsensical], with references to a wide range of subjects, such as mutant children, communism, and semen - in whose opinion? Why not let the facts speak for themselves.."The lyrics cover/juxtapose wide range of subjects, such as mutant children, communism, and semen (sometimes in a random manner? with little logical connection? whatever the source(s) say)"

It otherwise reads well - prose is fine. It would be nice if there were some more material on the songs but I suspect that is due to a lack of reliable sources. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 19:56, 26 April 2020 (UTC)

FYI the article's nominator hasn't edited at all in nearly a month. Nikkimaria (talk) 21:16, 23 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Yep, tks Nikki -- another time maybe. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:49, 24 May 2020 (UTC)

Ian Rose (talk) 11:50, 24 May 2020 (UTC)