Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Jean Bolikango/archive1


 * The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Sarastro1 via FACBot (talk) 21:38, 11 November 2017.

Jean Bolikango

 * Nominator: Indy beetle (talk) 17:46, 23 September 2017 (UTC)

This article is about Jean Bolikango, a prominent Congolese educator, writer, social figure, and politician. He began his career in the Belgian Congo as a teacher, where he educated two future prime ministers. He also wrote an award winning novel and contributed to a Catholic newspaper. In 1946 he founded an important cultural association. By the late 1950s he was the only Congolese to hold an executive position in the Belgian colonial administration. In the lead up to the independence of the Congo he took on the role as leader of the Bangala people. Most of his attempts to secure important government positions failed (though he did twice serve briefly as deputy prime minister of the Congo), but he had significant influence as an opposition leader in Parliament until 1965. His career was quiet afterwards but he held esteem among the Bangala people until his death. He is remembered as one of the fathers of Congolese independence and as an elder statesman of the Congo. I think that, in spite of its relatively small size, this article includes all the information available on Bolikango and is ready for FA. -Indy beetle (talk) 17:46, 23 September 2017 (UTC)

Sources review
Taking a preliminary look:
 * There are two dead link tags in the list of sources. These sources need to replaced.
 * I found another dead link: Associated Press 16 April 1966. This also needs replacing.
 * There are several Harvard errors affecting the following sources:
 * La Fontaine (refs 4, 5, 11)
 * O'Brien (ref 50}
 * Kyle (ref 52)
 * Multimedia Congo 2007 (ref 58)
 * The issue in these cases appears to be a discrepancy between the date/year given in the citation and that given in the source.

There may be other  sources-related matters, but perhaps you'd deal with the above first. Brianboulton (talk) 17:33, 28 September 2017 (UTC) Response to 
 * The list of sources should be in alphabetical sequence.
 * 1) From WP:LR: "Verifiability does not require that all information be supported by a working link, nor does it require the source to be published online." I must ask on what basis should I replace these sources?
 * Sorry, I meant to say "links", not "sources", and then only if such were available. Brianboulton (talk) 23:14, 28 September 2017 (UTC)
 * Ah thank you for the clarification. The Digital Congo link is probably salvageable, as I've seen links from that website rescued before. Though the last time it happened on this page was because of the WaybackMedic 2.1, and I don't know how to activate it. The other link is apparently "permanent"ly dead. -Indy beetle (talk) 23:56, 28 September 2017 (UTC)

2. Removed the link, as it was only a scan anyway and the link was not going to be of much help. 3. Fixed the cite errors. 4. Alphabetized. -Indy beetle (talk) 23:05, 28 September 2017 (UTC)

Comments from Dank

 * I've deleted two instances of Template:Interlanguage link multi. Please don't use that template at FAC. If you don't want the link to be red, then create a stub on the English Wikipedia and link to that.
 * Support on prose per my standard disclaimer. Well done. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 18:41, 28 September 2017 (UTC)

Images are appropriately licensed, but the second caption should end in a period as a complete sentence. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:06, 30 September 2017 (UTC)
 * 1) Done. -Indy beetle (talk) 18:39, 30 September 2017 (UTC)

Lede

 * "He served twice as deputy prime minister of the Democratic Republic of the Congo." - I would definitely give the years here, which is fairly standard on a lot of political biography articles. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:48, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * "deputy prime minister" - should this perhaps be capitalised? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:14, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * In the opening paragraph, could we get a mention of Bolikango's ideological approach and political party affiliations, as we for instance have at FA-rated African political biographies like Nelson Mandela and Steve Biko? Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:48, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * "making him one of the "fathers of independence" of the Congo" - the "of the... of the" phrasing is a little repetitive. Perhaps the latter could be "in the"? Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:48, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * "the various factions in the Congo" - "various Congolese factions"? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:17, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * "Bolikango became a minister in the government" might work better as "Bolikango became a minister in his government"? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:20, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * Perhaps a brief paragraph at the end of the lede summarising Bolikango's legacy; again, like the Mandela and Biko articles. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 October 2017 (UTC)

Early life

 * Do we have any idea which ethno-cultural group Bolikango belonged to? That would appear to be pretty important information that we are missing here. If we can find that out, it would also go in the lede too. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:20, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * The first paragraph in this section is pretty lengthy. I definitely think it would be more user-friendly to split it into two. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:28, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * Why are the names of some organisations italicised and others not? Ensure that this is standardised (I would suggest non-italicisation as the more appropriate option here as we are dealing with the names of groups, rather than books). Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:29, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * " by the colonial administration for its attachment to Belgian social ideals" - this is the first indication that Belgium controlled the Congo in this period. I think that we need to make this more explicit for readers unfamiliar with Central African history. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:31, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * "in Ghent" - definitely wikilink this one. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:31, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * "Kethulle de Ryhove's funeral " - who is this and why was he at their funeral? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:32, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


 * "That year he hosted and contributed to the drafting of the first Congolese political manifesto, Manifeste de conscience africaine, in his own home." I think that this could be reworded; at present it is a little confusing to have "he hosted" right at the beginning and only "in his own home" at the end. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:35, 15 October 2017 (UTC)

Political career
Response to  -Indy beetle (talk) 02:45, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
 * "supported the formation of a union of African states" - perhaps a link to Pan-Africanism? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:35, 15 October 2017 (UTC)
 * 1) Done.
 * 2) Done.
 * 3) Revised to say he "was a prominent Congolese educator, writer, and conservative politician who enjoyed a substantial amount of popularity among the Bangala people. He served twice as Deputy Prime Minister of the Democratic Republic of the Congo in September 1960 and from February to August 1962. He also headed the Parti de l'Unité Nationale and worked as a key opposition member in Parliament in the early 1960s."
 * 4) Done.
 * 5) Revised as "warring factions in the Congo".
 * 6) Done.
 * 7) Seeing as his legacy section is rather small, I've tacked this on to the end of the last lede paragraph: "His grandson created the Jean Bolikango Foundation in his memory to promote social progress. The President of the Congo posthumously awarded Bolikango a medal in 2005 for his long career in public service."
 * 8) Added that he was born into a Bangala family.
 * 9) Done.
 * 10) Corrected so that none are italicised.
 * 11) It does read that he was born in the Belgian Congo. I'm not sure how else I could make this more explicit without being undue. Suggestions?
 * 12) Done.
 * 13) It is mentioned previously that Kethulle de Ryhove was a missionary who worked with Bolikango to establish UNISCO.
 * 14) Revised as "That year he hosted in his home and contributed to the drafting of the first Congolese political manifesto, Manifeste de conscience africaine."
 * 15) Done.

Further thoughts

 * "The Bangala were, however, only a unified political faction in the capital" - this could be read in several ways. Would it be better to phrase this as something like "The Bangala were, however, only unified as a political faction in the capital"? Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:06, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Done.


 * "From 20 January to 20 February 1960 Bolikango attended " - best to get a comma after the year here. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:06, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * MOS:DATE doesn't have an elicit prescribed method, but from what I've seen when the date is written in this format commas are not typically used. "Between Monday 31 January and Sunday 6 February 2011 star gazers will be asked to count the number of stars they can see within the constellation of Orion" --> The Guardian "On 13 May 2007 Daniel was born." --> Grammarly


 * "This could be best accomplished, in his view, with an alliance of his own groups" - to avoid a repetition of "with" in this sentence, it might be best to use "through an alliance" rather than "with an alliance". Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:06, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Done.


 * "the new party retained its regional bias and failed to amass substantial outside support and cost Bolikango much of his backing in Léopoldville" - Bit repetitive to have "and... and". To deal with this prose problem, perhaps change "and cost Bolikango" to "costing Bolikango"? Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:06, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Done.


 * "endeavour to form a harmonious ensemble."... When we have a sentence that is a direct quotation, it is really best to include a citation right at the end of the sentence, even if it means duplicating the citation that comes a sentence or two later. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:11, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Done.


 * The second paragraph in "Congo Crisis" is very lengthy. I really think it should be divided into at least two paragraphs; that will make it a less daunting read. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:11, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Done.


 * "sitting “Bantu fashion with legs out stretched” around " - standardise quotation marks to the " variety. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:15, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Done.


 * "Bolikango managed to organise" - "Bolikango organised". Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:15, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Done.


 * "On 22 February 2007 a ceremony" - always best to have a comma after the date or year when opening a sentence in this fashion. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:15, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Per above on dates.


 * I have responded to your comments. -Indy beetle (talk) 02:15, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

Many thanks for your excellent work on this article, Indy beetle. I am very happy to support it as a Featured Article. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:24, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

Comments by Finetooth
 * This generally reads well. I fixed two dead URLs, as you have noted, and I made several minor changes to the prose. Please revert any you think are misguided. Here are a few suggestions and guestions.


 * Early life
 * ¶1 "In 1946 he became the president of the Association des Anciens élèves des pères de Scheut[a] (ADAPÉS), a position he held until his death." - Would it be helpful to link to CICM Missionaries and briefly explain what kind of association ADAPÉS was? Otherwise "Fathers of Scheut" may seem a bit mysterious, especially to readers who have no idea what "Scheut" refers to.
 * ¶3 "That year he hosted in his home and contributed to the drafting of the first Congolese political manifesto, Manifeste de conscience africaine." – It's not clear from this what he hosted in his home. Was it a meeting at which multiple people worked on the draft? If so, that should be worked into the sentence.
 * The infobox mentions a wife, Claire, but she is not mentioned in the main text. Perhaps you could mention her in this section (with an RS), give the marriage date if you have a source for that, and give the names of their children, if you have a source.


 * Political career
 * ¶1 "He considered the Sengalese poet and politician Léopold Sédar Senghor to be a principle influence on his beliefs." – In what way? Influenced him how?
 * ¶1 "He believed the Congo should be a united in a broad fashion..." – Delete "a" before "united"?


 * Early organization
 * ¶2 "...as the Front Common[i]'s (the political umbrella over all the Congolese delegations) spokesperson." – This is a bit confusing in its structure. Suggestion: "... as the spokesperson for the Front Common[i], the political umbrella for all the Congolese delegations."


 * Congo crisis
 * ¶2 "Lumumba soon thereafter was dismissed from office by President Kasa-Vubu and replaced with Joseph Iléo." – Flip to active voice? Suggestion: "Soon thereafter, President Kasa-Vubu dismissed Lumumba from office and replaced him with Joseph Iléo."
 * ¶2 "During Iléo's short terms,..." – Terms or term? More than one?


 * General
 * Concise alt text would be nice even if not required.
 * Some of the ISBNs in the reference section lack hyphens, which should be added. A converter lives here. It's a two-step process. Enter the unhyphenated 13-digit ISBN to convert it to a 10-digit ISBN, then enter the 10-digit ISBN to convert it to a 13-digit ISBN with hyphens.
 * The dab-link checker found no problems.
 * The duplink checker found no overlinks.


 * That's all. Finetooth (talk) 02:13, 25 October 2017 (UTC)

Response to  -Indy beetle (talk) 19:24, 28 October 2017 (UTC)
 * 1) Added to the footnote that it was "an alumni association for Congolese who were educated by Scheut Missionaries"
 * 2) Revised as "That year he met with a handful of his former students and other Congolese leaders in his home. Together they drafted the first Congolese political manifesto, Manifeste de conscience africaine."
 * 3) Cite and brief statement ion the body added. Kanza doesn't mention anything other than that she was his wife.
 * 4) Legum does not say.
 * 5) Done.
 * 6) Done.
 * 7) Done.
 * 8) I've clarified with a new cite: "During Iléo's brief first term Bolikango served as Minister of Information and Minister of Defence. During Iléo's second term in early 1961 he held the post of Deputy Prime Minister." Iléo was in power for a few days in 1960 before his government was replaced. He then returned to power in February 1961.
 * 9) Done.
 * 10) Done.
 * All good. Support on prose. I have one further suggestion of a general nature. I find that your method of listing responses by number slows down the review process by forcing the reviewer to figure out which number corresponds to which comment. More seamless, in my opinion, would be to place your responses, indented to set them apart visually, directly below the comments they respond to. Finetooth (talk) 16:56, 29 October 2017 (UTC)

Comments – Only found a couple new issues to report (not including a few things that Finetooth commented on already): Response to  -Indy beetle (talk) 19:35, 26 October 2017 (UTC)
 * Political career: Three sentences in a row start with "He". Not a huge deal, but to improve the prose it would be nice to see some variation in one or two of them.
 * The full Conor Cruise O'Brien reference should be put in alphabetical order. Giants2008  ( Talk ) 20:30, 25 October 2017 (UTC)
 * 1) Done.
 * 2) Done.


 * Support – The comments (by myself and Finetooth) have received responses, and the article appears to meet FA standards. Nice job on the kind of subject we don't see too often at FAC. Giants2008  ( Talk ) 21:05, 28 October 2017 (UTC)

Coordinator comment:, do you have anything further to add here? Sarastro1 (talk) 17:08, 4 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Will have a quick look now! Sorry for the delay. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:53, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Midnightblueowl's remaining concerns have been addressed. -Indy beetle (talk) 17:38, 11 November 2017 (UTC)

Closing comment: I note that there is no alt text on this article. While alt text is not an explicit requirement at FA, I always feel that we should demonstrate best practice. However, there is no need to delay promotion any further. Sarastro1 (talk) 21:37, 11 November 2017 (UTC)

Sarastro1 (talk) 21:38, 11 November 2017 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.