Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Lanny McDonald/archive1


 * The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by User:Ian Rose 10:01, 31 August 2013 (UTC).

Lanny McDonald

 * Nominator(s): Resolute 02:16, 27 July 2013 (UTC)

Lanny is a local hero, a hometown star who came home to the Calgary Flames to lead them to their only Stanley Cup Championship in 1989. Hockey Hall of Famer, patron of the Special Olympics, and in my completely objective and totally non-biased opinion, the greatest moustache in sports. The article was brought to GA standard and run through peer review a little over a year ago, but I placed it on the back burner to focus on FA runs for two other topics approaching major milestones. Since hockey never really stops in Canada however, I felt the dog days of summer was a prime time to bring this article before the community. All comments and suggestions welcomed! Thanks, Resolute 02:16, 27 July 2013 (UTC)

Comments –
 * Toronto Maple Leafs: "The patience the Maple Leafs had shown McDonald in his first two seasons was rewarded in 1975–76 when rediscovered his offensive touch". Needs "he" after "when".
 * Calgary Flames: Contraction should be fixed in "after which McDonald remarked that he hadn't had so much fun playing the game in a long time."
 * "He watched from the bench as his teammates' unsuccessfully attempted...". Apostrophe should be removed.
 * Personal life: "for which the publisher made a donation of $10,000 to Special Olympics." Should "the" be added before Special Olympics? Giants2008  ( Talk ) 21:35, 30 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Done, thanks! I slightly reworded the second point since "had not had" felt sloppy.  regards, Resolute 22:34, 30 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Support – The article was in good shape when I read it, and I'm confident that it meets the FA criteria. Nice job on this one. Giants2008  ( Talk ) 01:06, 4 August 2013 (UTC)


 * Support with comments - This looks really good and was a nice read. I made a few changes, and have a few comments:
 * This is a bit unclear. Was he the all-star team's MVP, or the league MVP? "He was named to the AJHL's Second All-Star team, and voted its most valuable player."
 * Jargon: "acquired McDonald's rights"
 * I don't quite understand this: "Angered at first, he viewed the deal as an insult, that the worst team in the NHL had rejected him." You haven't established anywhere that the Rockies were the worst team in the NHL. Is that what you're suggesting?
 * "At 36 years old and approaching the end of his career, the 1989 Stanley Cup playoffs was potentially his last chance at a championship." At an NHL championship... :)
 * "and Calgary won the game 4–2 to win" I couldn't think of a way to reword this, but it's redundant.
 * "He had also previously served as a vice president of the NHLPA." This seems to be hanging out in the wrong section, chronologically. When in his career as a player did this occur? -- Laser brain  (talk)  19:34, 1 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review and support! I have attempted to clarify or address your comments.  Cheers! Resolute 23:06, 1 August 2013 (UTC)

Support. Great article, well written, comprehensive. Concur on the stache. Thank you for your hard work. Rejectwater (talk) 22:45, 5 August 2013 (UTC)

Support: I'm a bit later than I'd like on this one, sorry about that! I peer reviewed this article last year, and it was in excellent shape then. With further improvements and other eyes on it, I'm confident it meets the criteria, with the qualification that I am far from a hockey expert. Just a few nit-picks which do not affect my support. Incidentally, I must take issue with "the greatest moustache in sports". Search for some images of Merv Hughes... Sarastro1 (talk) 22:39, 8 August 2013 (UTC)
 * "McDonald finished the season with a modest improvement over his rookie campaign: 17 goals and 44 points": I don't think he finished with an improvement, rather "McDonald's [record?] at the end of the season was a modest improvement…" or similar.
 * "The Maple Leafs were viewed as being underdogs": Redundancy?
 * "…five back of Gretzky's 71": Sounds a little unencyclopedic to me.
 * 7th paragraph of the Calgary section: close repetition of "elimated/eliminating".
 * Playing style section: A little heavy on using "he was", perhaps. Maybe some of them could be reworded? Sarastro1 (talk) 22:39, 8 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Hughes had a fine 'stache, certainly. But add a playoff beard, and Lanny wins easily.  ;)  Anyway, thanks for the support, and I've tried to address the points you brought up! Resolute 23:01, 8 August 2013 (UTC)

Image check all OK (Flickr CC, own work). Sources and authors provided.
 * Background checks for Flickr images show no signs of problems - OK.
 * Small logos in some images meet Commons:Commons:De minimis guideline - OK. GermanJoe (talk) 10:42, 12 August 2013 (UTC)

Delegate comments
 * Did I miss where the material in the "Regular season and playoffs" table is cited?
 * Fair few duplicate links -- you can use this tool to locate the repeats.
 * Still after a source review form someone, as listed at WT:FAC a while back -- I can see a Harv error for a start at the very top of the General references (source not cited by the look of it).
 * Hi Ian, thanks for the comments. Your first and third point are related. The first reference in the general references is the cite for McDonald's career statistics.  I've personally never liked adding things like "Source: [3]" to the end of a table like that.  I find it ugly, so usually do it as a general ref (e.g. at Brad McCrimmon).  Thanks for the pointer the duplicate links tool!  I removed the links duplicated within the body of the article. Cheers! Resolute 14:20, 24 August 2013 (UTC)

Source review - spotchecks not done
 * FN24: don't italicize place
 * Don't mix citation and cite templates
 * Why spell out CBC? Why spell out SI on second occurrence but not first?
 * Internet Hockey Database or The Internet Hockey Database? Nikkimaria (talk) 02:37, 25 August 2013 (UTC)
 * All fixed. And personally, I think "Canadian Broadcasting Corporation" looks better than "CBC". Especially since I often include TSN (The Sports Network) links in many of the same articles, and got into the habit of spelling it out for the sake of consistency. Cheers! Resolute 03:16, 25 August 2013 (UTC)

Ian Rose (talk) 06:12, 31 August 2013 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.