Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Michael Collins (astronaut)/archive1

Michael Collins (astronaut)

 * Nominator(s):  Hawkeye7   (discuss)  and   Kees08  (Talk)  01:37, 2 February 2019 (UTC)

This article is about Michael Collins, the third man on the crew of the Apollo 11 mission. He orbited the moon in his spacecraft, Columbia. As he passed around the far side of the Moon, he became the loneliest man alive, with the nearest two people thousands of miles away, and out of radio contact with both them and mission control back on Earth. Later he built the National Air and Space Museum, one of the world's great museums. The article has passed an A-Class review, which included source and image reviews. Hawkeye7  (discuss)  01:37, 2 February 2019 (UTC)

Comments from Harry
Great work overall, and an interesting read; just a few comments:
 * How relevant are all the titbits about Group 3? Comparisons of age and experience to previous groups are well worth including, but it's hard to see what bearing things like birthplace and elder siblings have on their profession.
 * Hawkeye, I know you had thoughts on this in another review, so leaving for you.  Kees08  (Talk)   21:47, 10 February 2019 (UTC)
 * Whole books have been written on the supposed benefits of being the first-born son, and the pilot astronauts of the Apollo era (1959-1975) are held up as an example. Collins was the only member of the first three groups to have an older brother, which made him a bit special. (I wouldn't know; I'm a first-born.) (At the height of the Apollo program there were 58 active-duty astronauts. Today, with no flights in prospect... there are 38 active duty and 18 more available for recall if NASA can ever locate another spacecraft.  Hawkeye7   (discuss)  03:12, 11 February 2019 (UTC)
 * group were assigned specializations, with Collins receiving the ", with" construction is frowned upon in professional-standard writing
 * Is there a name for that? Rephrased it let me know if you like the result.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Training for Gemini 10 was interrupted in March when Slayton diverted Young, Collins and Williams to represent their respective services, the US Navy, USAF and US Marine Corps on a panel to select another group of astronauts, along with himself, Shepard, spacecraft designer Max Faget and astronaut training officer Warren J. North. That's a bit of a run-on sentence
 * I took out part of it, do you think I should remove the non-astronauts from the sentence? The full list can be in the Gemini 10 article.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * During 1968, Collins noticed that his legs were not working as they should, first during handball games, then as he walked down stairs, his knee would almost give way Doesn't read quite right, partly because the commas give the impression that it's a list of three items
 * I think I improved the structure.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * This happened with the other Apollo missions Do we need the full list in Collins' biography? Maybe just one or two examples would suffice?
 * I do not think it needs to be in there, if Hawkeye disagrees we may compromise somehow.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * he did not want to fly again if Apollo 11 was successful. Do we know why? And I assume by "fly" you mean go into space, as opposed to flying planes?
 * Yes, his book had more specifics. Essentially that the strain of astronaut life was worth it to achieve JFK's goal, but to him personally, the strain was not worth it once the goal had been achieved. Added text like this to the article.  Kees08  (Talk)   21:45, 10 February 2019 (UTC)
 * This was the sort of challenge that Collins was well-suited for sounds like editorialising
 * I assume Collins might have said this in a book or something..and will let Hawkeye address it.  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * No, it's from the source, which compares and contrats his work at the State Department.  Hawkeye7   (discuss)  03:12, 11 February 2019 (UTC)
 * Ditto His background as an astronaut and an air force officer made him a good fit
 * The point here is that on leaving NASA most astronauts tend to take on jobs for which they are ill-suited. Collins and Aldrin are exceptions.  Hawkeye7   (discuss)  03:12, 11 February 2019 (UTC)
 * Collins lobbied hard for the new museum, and with the help of Goldwater in particular, Congress relented, and on August 10, 1972, approved $13 million and contract authority of $27 million for its construction. Bit of a mouthful; maybe split into two sentences?
 * Done  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * four days ahead of schedule on July 1, 1976 Isn't that three days?
 * It is!  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Until recently he did not sign his paintings recently compared to what? That doesn't give us any comprison point in his 88 years, especially since the article doesn't say when he started painting. And in 10 more years (if he's still with us) it will be a lot less recent. It either needs a date or some sort of context, or rephrasing "he did not initally sign" or "for a long time did not sign" or similar
 * The 2005 edition does not say he signed them, the text was first added in the 2006 version. I assume I cannot be comparing versions like that to guess when he started signing, so I suppose I will go with something like "he did not initially sign".  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * presently serves as Trustee Emeritus similar problem to above, see MOS:DATED
 * From another site: Trustee emeritus is an honorary title conveyed by a governing board upon a former trustee of an institution to recognize exemplary service. Does that make the trustee emeritus title permanent, sort of like an honorary doctorate?  Kees08  (Talk)   21:14, 10 February 2019 (UTC)
 * Yes, it is a lifetime accolade.  Hawkeye7   (discuss)  03:12, 11 February 2019 (UTC)
 * inducted into the International Air & Space Hall of Fame in 1971 Why isn't this included with the other halls of fame above?
 * Mistake, thanks  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * In popular culture: maybe try and join some of the "played by"s together to reduce redundancy
 * I have no good ideas on how to do this, suggestions..?  Kees08  (Talk)   21:22, 10 February 2019 (UTC)
 * In the 2018 film First Man, he was portrayed Maybe move this up to join the other screen roles rahter than leaving it at the end of a paragraph about songs?
 * Moved, thanks  Kees08  (Talk)  
 * Just out of curiosity, why is The Man Who Went to the Far Side of the Moon relegated to further reading rather than cited as a reference?
 * I am dancing the line between my girlfriend thinking it is cute that I edit Wikipedia and getting banned from buying space related books.  Kees08  (Talk)   18:41, 10 February 2019 (UTC)


 * It's a children's book. One factoid I found in it: the Apollo 11 astronauts wrote sealed farewell letters to their wives and children, to be given to them if they did not return.  Hawkeye7   (discuss)  03:14, 11 February 2019 (UTC)

There are three points above I left for you. Let me know if you need assistance with them or disagree with my edits.  Kees08  (Talk)   21:47, 10 February 2019 (UTC)
 * I believe we attempted to address all your points above.  Kees08  (Talk)   04:24, 12 February 2019 (UTC)
 * Friendly ping in case you have more comments you would like us to address.  Kees08  (Talk)   02:16, 19 February 2019 (UTC)

Coord note
Not sure why there's been so little interest in this one but one can't ignore the fact that commentary stalled almost a month ago, so I'm going to archive it. Given there's only been one reviewer, I wouldn't object to waiving the usual two-week waiting period -- perhaps getting it to the top of the list will generate renewed interest. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 07:58, 9 March 2019 (UTC)

Ian Rose (talk) 07:59, 9 March 2019 (UTC)