Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Murder of Dwayne Jones/archive1


 * The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 07:34, 24 December 2014 (UTC).

Murder of Dwayne Jones

 * Nominator(s): Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:03, 19 November 2014 (UTC)

This article is about a Jamaican teenager, Dwayne Jones, who was murdered in an act of anti-LGBT violence as a result of his gender non-conformity in July 2013. The event attracted press attention both domestically and in a number of foreign countries, bringing about international scrutiny and condemnation of the state of LGBT rights in Jamaica. Having achieved GA status in December 2013, further improvements have been made to this article, and I believe that it is now ready to undergo FAC. I'd particularly recommend it to any editors interested in LGBT issues, crime, Jamaica, and human rights. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:03, 19 November 2014 (UTC)

Image check

 * For File:Dwayne Jones, Jamaican murder victim.jpg you'll need to give the source from where you got it (like a like—it says ©AP, so I image you could link to wherever it is at AP—is there really no other attribution?).
 * I have traced the picture to the Associated Press, and updated the image file on Wikipedia with the information that I obtained there. I hope that does the trick, Curly Turkey ? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:18, 21 November 2014 (UTC)
 * Yeah, looks fine now. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 12:42, 21 November 2014 (UTC)


 * Other images are properly tagged and under Creative Commons licenses. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 23:10, 19 November 2014 (UTC)

Drive-by comment

I just glanced at the article and was left confused as to what Jones' biological sex was. It's implied that he was biologically male, but the article doesn't explicitly mention that in the lead or the "Early life" section. In the lead something like "Jones was born biologically male but was gender non-conforming" would be a lot clearer to the reader. I'd like to see something similar in the "Early life" section as well. While gender is not always so clear-cut, sex (biologically male or female) is generally pretty straightforward, and being very clear about the latter would help the reader understand why Jones was killed, I think. AmericanLemming (talk) 02:35, 20 November 2014 (UTC)
 * You raise a very interesting point. The problem is that we don't have a source that explicitly states that "Dwayne Jones was biologically male". I assume that he was, but without confirmation would hesitate to state it in the article; it is possible that he was intersex or even biologically female, although I thin it unlikely given the information available to us. It seems more obviously clear that he was of the male gender; his two friends (both of whom were transgender women) referred to him using male pronouns and called him Dwayne, so I think that that is a fairly obvious point, which I hope is reflected in the article. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:30, 21 November 2014 (UTC)

Source review - spotchecks not done
 * AP is an agency or publisher, not a work
 * Could you clarify what needs to be changed here, Nikkimaria; I am afraid that I am a little perplexed. Midnightblueowl (talk) 15:55, 30 November 2014 (UTC)
 * Associated Press, footnote 2 - it shouldn't be italicized, it's likely in the wrong parameter. Nikkimaria (talk) 17:47, 30 November 2014 (UTC)
 * Ah, thanks for the clarification; for some reason I thought that you were talking about the image. I have corrected the reference. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:58, 1 December 2014 (UTC)
 * QCJM is a publisher, not an author. Nikkimaria (talk) 17:20, 22 November 2014 (UTC)
 * As above, apologies but I have no idea what QCJM is, or what requires changing. Midnightblueowl (talk) 15:55, 30 November 2014 (UTC)
 * Quality of Citizenship Jamaica - again, this value is in the wrong parameter in the citation template. Nikkimaria (talk) 17:47, 30 November 2014 (UTC)
 * Again, thanks for the clarification; I have made the required correction. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:58, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

Comments I looked just at the lead section and did some copyediting; feel free to revert, as always.
 * For any LGBT article, a copyeditor will be thinking of the tension between using simple terms that everyone understands and more accurate terms that often need to be explained. I think since you've already got a footnote that is very specific about how the subject's friends saw him, we can keep the lead more accessible by talking about his "perceived effeminacy". Let me know if that doesn't work for you. - Dank (push to talk) 17:06, 11 December 2014 (UTC)

Closing comment -- Sorry but this review seems to have stalled so I'll be archiving it shortly -- best of luck with a renomination in the New Year if you choose. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk)

Ian Rose (talk) 07:34, 24 December 2014 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.