Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy/archive3

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

 * Nominator(s): K. Peake 13:33, 18 March 2024 (UTC)

This article is about My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010), the fifth studio album by American rapper Kanye West. It was recorded during West's exile in Hawaii after a period of controversy through 2009, resulting in a maximalist style with elements of his previous work. The album was met with widespread critical acclaim and also received much retrospective praise, including being ranked as one of the greatest albums of all time. West promoted the album with four singles that were top 40 hits in the United States and the film Runaway, while it reached the top 10 in countries like the US and Canada. The article became a GA back in 2011, more than five years before I joined this site, though I have monitored it over the years and put in extensive work back in both 2022 and the start of 2024 for a FAC. I did take it through peer review before a third FAC and also made sure to incorporate the book sources, as West's magnum ops my dedication was guaranteed! --K. Peake 13:33, 18 March 2024 (UTC)

Elias
Will be saving a spot ‍ Elias 🪐  (dreaming of Saturn; talk here) 02:10, 20 March 2024 (UTC)


 * You do not use false titles in the lead section but you do in several instances down the article (e.g. "recording artist Lady Gaga"). Make this consistent
 * Not sure about this one; the lead has lists of collaborators, so wouldn't it be tedious to list all of them out with the identities? --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)


 * It feels weird to cite grammy.com pages as "Grammy Awards", given the awards/ceremonies themselves obviously do not write or publish the articles. usually I see those sources cited under the work/publisher The Recording Academy.
 * Done. --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)

Background
 * I will be commenting on the lead after I'm finished reviewing the prose, to ensure that it properly summarizes all relevant details in the article.
 * MOS:CONFORMTITLE is not consistently applied; see the refs for this version of the article, [3], [10], [39], [42], [47], and [129] (I excluded [220] because the citation is template-generated)
 * Done. --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Not quite; you missed [10]. - E.
 * Done, sorry I must have not noticed. --K. Peake 08:58, 3 April 2024 (UTC)


 * I think it would be more beneficial if the explanation for the "public-image controversy" bit came immediately after the sentence. What's the purpose of the sentence "Around a year previously..." in this part of the paragraph?
 * Done, also I moved that to the end and I've kept because it shows the relevancy of this studio. --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)


 * Linking just the word "outburst" and "interruption" is a MOS:EASTEREGG issue; furthermore, the sentence does not clearly convey that the outburst happened at the VMAs.
 * Done, although does the version in the lead look acceptable now? --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)
 * I would say yes. - E.


 * Indicate the VMAs acronym immediately after spelling it in full, as the article uses the acronym a few more times down the line.
 * Great, but I think you can remove the "VMAs" from the lead since you don't use the acronym elsewhere in it. - E.
 * Done. --K. Peake 08:58, 3 April 2024 (UTC)


 * What is "rode the waves and rode it and rode it" here supposed to say? I assume it means West thought Swift was "riding the wave" of public sympathy - if so, make it clearer, possibly with a wiktionary link.
 * Done. --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)


 * "he feels like 'a soldier of culture', realizing no one wants this to be his job and he also honestly set out to maintain a large involvement in culture" two things. first, all of the verbs should be in past tense, and number two, i do not understand what any of this intends to convey. unfortunately, i do not have access to the cited book at the moment, so it will be hard to check.
 * "I feel like, in some ways like I’m a soldier of culture, and I realize that no one wants that to be my job...will I feel convicted about things that really meant stuff to culture that constantly get denied for years and years and years and years, I’m sorry, I will. I cannot lie about it in order to sell records." phrased to be most appropriate. --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)
 * I feel like this can still use a bit of work. The easiest approach, I think, would be to let the quotation speak for itself. You may replace this with the quotation, but I warn you will have to be careful with limiting these. - E.
 * Done. --K. Peake 08:58, 3 April 2024 (UTC)


 * close paraphrasing issue with "a minimum of 80 percent was what he wanted to deliver, with the remainder 'fulfilling a perception'. it does not sufficiently reflect the source, "It's always going to be 80 percent, at least, what I want to give, and 20 percent fulfilling a perception". from what i understand it's "80%" of west staying true to himself and "20%" assuming the role the public expects him to play?
 * "dissing Dark Fantasy" can be paraphrased; also I don't think you should enclose "Dark Fantasy" in single quotation marks since West was clearly referring to the album
 * Done. --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)
 * "what he wanted to deliver" can be tightened to "genuine" IMO. - E.
 * Done. --K. Peake 08:58, 3 April 2024 (UTC)

Recording and production
 * the "later" in "He later explained" is not necessary
 * "Various contributors engaged in sessions with West... Other artists recorded vocals for the album... Record producers who contributed in the sessions..." repetitive sentence structure. i think we can switch it up a bit?
 * Eh, good enough - E.


 * "Record producers who contributed in the sessions include:" misuse of the colon
 * link the "Tweeting" from "No Tweeting" to Tweet (social media), removing the wikilink in "West tweeted", and link Rolodex
 * Linking rolodex has yet to be done - E.
 * Done, must have not seen. --K. Peake 08:58, 3 April 2024 (UTC)


 * "The heavy work ethic led to West and his crew having a multi-course breakfast" was this, along with the 21 games, marijuana, and workouts, a one-off thing? readers would benefit from a clarification that these happened regularly or at least a lot
 * "solicited other producers" perhaps you mean enlisted ? to solicit sometimes means to ask someone for sexual favours ..
 * "to weigh in" sounds informal; trim to "for opinions"
 * "In an interview with Callahan-Bever" don't think this is needed given the previous sentence establishes we are in the context of an interview"
 * Done. --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)


 * IMO the fourth paragraph of this section contains too many quotations, and there are ways to paraphrase some if not all of them to avoid this issue.
 * Done, if this is enough? --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)
 * I still think there are still too many. - E.


 * For single quotation marks in close proximity to double quotation marks, use Template:" ' or Template:' "
 * Any examples now after edits? --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Not to my knowledge, no. - E.


 * "West subsequently recorded in hotel rooms for Watch the Throne" i am unsure if this fact is relevant enough for inclusion in the article.
 * Removed. --K. Peake 20:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)

Will return with comments soon, perhaps this weekend ‍ Elias 🪐  (dreaming of Saturn; talk here) 13:51, 20 March 2024 (UTC)

Apologies for the long delays. Here are some further comments after a sweep at my previous suggestions.
 * WP:CLOP issue with the last sentence at the Background section. Furthermore, I don't exactly understand why this sentence is relevant to comprehending the article's contents.
 * Done, also it is relevant since it gives the background on West's views re the album. --K. Peake 08:58, 3 April 2024 (UTC)


 * It might be worth namedropping chipmunk soul in the article, as it is a prominent production style used in the album.
 * This has been added as best as it can be now; see my edit to understand why and I will add more info if you can find any FA level sources about chipmunk soul further. --K. Peake 08:12, 8 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Usually, I appreciate the use of quote boxes when the quotation picked is compelling. In this case, I am unsure about using it for the aforementioned section especially since we already have so many quotations. It just essentially repeats what is already said in the prose. Perhaps we can remove this?
 * Done. --K. Peake 08:58, 3 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Apologies in advance, but I still see even more quotations in the article as I read through the musical styles section. I completely understand that some descriptions of the album and summaries of critical commentary are best described by quotations and/or cannot be sufficiently paraphrased, I found twenty-three quotations in the musical style section alone --- in almost every sentence, some in close proximity to each other. Of the 452 words in that section, 149 come from quotations, or almost 33% or around 1/3 of the section. In the next section, 165/423 (39%) of the words come from quotations, and I note that every sentence about a critic saying something consists of at least one quotation. The rest are more generous: the song section has a 205/964 (21.3%) quotation/prose ratio, title/packaging 128/654 (19.6%), marketing 106/631 (16.8%), sales 0%, reviews 116/476 (24.4%), rankings 80/456 (17.5%), and industry awards 110/479 (23.0%).

I will have to pause my review here and oppose this in the meantime. Two sections have over a third of its words come from source quotations, indicating an overuse of them, which in turn tells me more work needs to be done to properly summarize the literature around this album. Not to mention a hint of close paraphrasing issues; if you wish, you may ask for spotchecks from a more experienced reviewer to weed out some of these instances. My sincere apologies because I have never opposed a nomination before, but my gut feeling tells me it must be done. ‍ Elias 🪐  (dreaming of Saturn; talk here) 01:07, 2 April 2024 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the comments, regarding the direct quotes and close phrasing I have chopped these down heavily throughout now if you want to take a look. While I do appreciate these comments for improvement and will also be searching today to find source(s) for chipmunk soul, the opposition is not justified since these are not issues that take a long time to resolve so it may not be supportable upon your comments but they would be more suitable as comments rather than oppose – sorry if this strikes your gut, so to speak. --K. Peake 08:58, 3 April 2024 (UTC)
 * For the record, a reviewer should feel free to oppose anytime they feel the FA criteria are not (yet) met. If the issues can be dealt with quickly, and the oppose struck, that's great, but a reviewer clearly flagging such concerns is a benefit to the process. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:26, 8 April 2024 (UTC)
 * I understand where you are coming from, this should not have really been somewhere to intervene regarding whether it is suitable or not for the user to oppose. Who knows, maybe they will support on next comments now... K. Peake 07:25, 11 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Hi Elias, any further comment in light of the changes? Gog the Mild (talk) 13:19, 17 April 2024 (UTC)
 * Hi @Gog the Mild, apologies for taking me a week to get to this. I just saw Heartfox's comments below, and after comparing it with the state of the critical reception as well as the rest of the article, I doubt I will be striking my oppose any time soon. ‍ PSA 🏕️  (talk) 23:43, 25 April 2024 (UTC)

100cellsman
Support on prose. The only thing I suggest is using subheaders in the Songs section, i.e. Tracks 1-6 and Tracks 7-13. 웃 O  O  02:19, 23 March 2024 (UTC)


 * I added these in now, although it actually is 1-7 and then 8-13 but thank you! K. Peake 20:09, 24 March 2024 (UTC)

magiciandude
Also support on prose and as well as the issues addressed above. Erick (talk) 02:33, 26 March 2024 (UTC)

NØ
Got into Ye's music recently so I will try my best to make time for this!--NØ 15:13, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
 * Is the Swift interruption relevant enough for the lead? It looks too text-heavy, honestly.
 * I would say so since this album is often seen as West's redemption after his incident with Taylor Swift, therefore this being in the lead brings significant context for viewers instantly. --K. Peake 08:02, 8 April 2024 (UTC)


 * "During the album's marketing, West released free songs through his weekly GOOD Fridays series, as well as four singles, including "Power" and "All of the Lights", with all of them becoming top 40 hits on the Billboard Hot 100." - "During the album's marketing" bit is redundant. Maybe the simpler "Alongside several free songs released through his weekly GOOD Fridays series, West supported the album with four Billboard Hot 100 top 40 singles, including "Power" and "All of the Lights"?
 * I would avoid referring to the singles as "hits" later on in the article as well for neutrality
 * "It eventually registered a triple platinum certification" - Registered does not sound right. Maybe achieved?
 * The "RIAA" abbreviation does not need to be included since it is not used again.
 * Done. --K. Peake 08:02, 8 April 2024 (UTC)


 * A clean version of the alt cover seems to be available from Amazon, which seem to be generally preferred
 * Is this really suitable since the censorship is mentioned and also, shouldn't the original be shown ideally anyway for readers? --K. Peake 08:02, 8 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Suggest combining more than three refs in a row to avoid citation overkill: "[6][26][27][28]"
 * Done. --K. Peake 08:02, 8 April 2024 (UTC)


 * The "EW" abbreviation in the bracket after Entertainment Weekly seems unnecessary to me
 * I disagree with you here, being that EW is later used in the rankings sub-section. --K. Peake 08:02, 8 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Why not "Commercial performance" instead of "Sales" as a section title? The certifications included here include streaming performance and the last sentence concerns Spotify.
 * Done, I agree with you here but this had been the idea of another editor a while back yet that was not at FAC so commercial performance outweighs sales verdict! --K. Peake 08:02, 8 April 2024 (UTC)


 * "At the end of 2010, numerous critics and publications included My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy on their year-end top albums lists" - That the lists were published at the end of 2010 is sufficiently implied by them being year-end lists, imo. So I would let go of the part preceding the comma.
 * Done. --K. Peake 08:02, 8 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Are HipHopDX Awards notable enough to be included? Just asking since I am not familiar with the hip hop scene and these do not seem to have a Wikipedia article.
 * I would say yes, being that this is an established website with the hip hop community and there is a section in their article. --K. Peake 08:02, 8 April 2024 (UTC)
 * I will refrain from voting since this isn't an in-depth review. Hope this is helpful--NØ</b> 02:18, 8 April 2024 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your beginning comments, these have been addressed now and feel free to leave more comments or even ask away if anything is uncertain here! --K. Peake 08:02, 8 April 2024 (UTC)
 * , is there more to come? Gog the Mild (talk) 12:55, 17 April 2024 (UTC)
 * I am a bit dissatisfied with the convolution in the prose. That's the primary reason I haven't converted to a support after my initial comments. Significant work looks required in that department and I unfortunately won't be having the time to help with that within the time constraints of an FAC.--<b style="color:purple">N</b><b style="color:teal">Ø</b> 16:04, 17 April 2024 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your comments in detail here, I have looked and tried to revise the convolution even though I'm not 100% sure what you mean – I appreciate your viewpoint on the time constraints, although can you explain convolution and cite at least one example please? --K. Peake 06:54, 26 April 2024 (UTC)

Heartfox
I am going to oppose per 1a due to the structure of the critical reception section as unengaing. Right now it is mostly a line-by-line quote/paraphrase of each reviewer, with little discernible themes/patterns among reviewers and paragraphs lack topic sentences which are helpful to readers. With 45 reviews indexed on Metacritic alone, I don't think it is unreasonable for there to be more of a thematic structure. Overall I don't think it's as good as it could be at the moment. There are also weird statements such as "In a November 2010 review" (the album was released in November 2010), and "esteemed reviewer Robert Christgau" which is unsourced and not really neutral, etc. Heartfox (talk) 20:23, 25 April 2024 (UTC)
 * I have revised the reception now to be more cohesive and neutral, how is this coming along? --K. Peake 06:54, 26 April 2024 (UTC)


 * With two outstanding opposes, a consensus to promote does not seem to be forming. So I am going to archive this with the suggestion that work on the reviewers' concerns continue off-FAC. I look forward to seeing it back here after this, although the usual two-week hiatus will apply. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:24, 26 April 2024 (UTC)

Gog the Mild (talk) 20:24, 26 April 2024 (UTC)