Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Pavel Nedvěd/archive1


 * The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 10:10, 31 May 2015.

Pavel Nedvěd

 * Nominator(s): C679 12:19, 29 April 2015 (UTC)

This article is about Pavel Nedvěd, a Czech footballer who won the coveted Ballon d'Or in 2003. The article has gone through a good article review, two peer reviews and a copy edit from WP:GOCE. C679 12:19, 29 April 2015 (UTC)
 * I should also declare my participation in the WikiCup. C679 12:19, 29 April 2015 (UTC)

Comments: I think this has a little way to go. I notice that the 2015 peer review got no comments at all; you may be better approaching some copy-editors or FA regulars to have a look and get some quality feedback. PR can be a graveyard. The more eyes on this the better. Here are some comments on the lead, to get you started. I will not oppose at the moment, but I think this needs a lot of work to be FA quality. Sarastro1 (talk) 21:56, 6 May 2015 (UTC)
 * "Described as one of the best footballers of his generation, he is also regarded as one of the most successful players to emerge from the Czech Republic,": Described by who, regarded by who? My confidence in these statements is lessened further by their reference to a BBC article from 2000 which has no publisher, author or date information.
 * "winning domestic and European accolades": What sort of accolades? Trophies? Awards? Praise?
 * "during which he attracted international attention": This is quite vague.
 * "He also captained the national team at Euro 2004, where they were defeated in the semi-final to eventual champions Greece, and Nedvěd was named as part of the Team of the Tournament.": This could be tightened up considerably. For example: "During the 2004 European Championship [this should be written in full here], he captained the national team to the semi finals, where they were defeated by the eventual champions Greece, and he was named in the Team of the Tournament."
 * "Furthermore, Nedvěd helped his team qualify for the World Cup for the first time since the breakup of Czechoslovakia." Furthermore does not really work here; and which World Cup are we talking about? The last date given was 2004, when there was no World Cup and the qualifiers had only just begun.
 * "Winning the Ballon d'Or as European Footballer of the Year in 2003, Nedvěd was the second Czech player to receive the honour and the first since the breakup of Czechoslovakia. ": Second time we've mentioned the breakup of Czechoslovakia in a short space; such repetition is best avoided. Maybe better phrased, for example, "In 2003, Nedvěd became just the second Czech player to win the Balloon d'Or"
 * Quite a few sentences begin "Nedved" or "He"; more variety is needed, particularly in the lead.
 * The lead should summarise the whole article, and there are areas missing: for example, his early life, his playing style, and many of his achievements at club level. Sarastro1 (talk) 21:56, 6 May 2015 (UTC)

Coordinator query -, what is the status here? Are you intending to address Sarastro1's comments or continue participation in this nomination? If not, I will archive it. -- Laser brain  (talk)  02:17, 27 May 2015 (UTC)

Ian Rose (talk) 10:10, 31 May 2015 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.