Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/SMS Roon/archive1

SMS Roon

 * Nominator(s): Parsecboy (talk) 13:16, 22 January 2020 (UTC)

This is an article I'm quite pleased to see finally make it to FAC - it's come a long way since August 2007. Part of the Armored cruisers of Germany good topic, this article covers one of the later vessels, which had an interesting career, serving as a flagship of the German scouting force, seeing action during World War I in the Baltic, and ending up slated to be converted into a seaplane carrier, although the war ended before the conversion could be carried out. As I alluded to earlier, this was a fairly old article I wrote back in 2008–2009 that I overhauled last year, after which it passed a Milhist A-class review. Thanks for all who take the time to review it. Parsecboy (talk) 13:16, 22 January 2020 (UTC)

Comments Support by CPA-5
I'll do this one as soon as possible. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 19:39, 22 January 2020 (UTC)
 * , are you still planning to stop by? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 06:43, 15 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Did it, sorry for the delay.

Looks good to me. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 19:39, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
 * SMS Roon was the lead ship of her class of armored cruisers No SMS note?
 * Added
 * had a top speed of 20.4 knots (37.8 km/h; 23.5 mph) Unlink the common units here.
 * Done
 * in several operations against Russian forces Pipe Russians to the Russian Empire.
 * Done
 * 2,000 metric horsepower (2,000 ihp) and speed by .5 knots (0.93 km/h; 0.58 mph) This isn't an American-related article so add a nought in the knots.
 * Done
 * She carried up to 1,570 t (1,550 long tons; 1,730 short tons) of coal Other sentences don't use short tons.
 * Removed
 * Roon spent the following years participating in various --> "She spent the following years participating in various"
 * Done
 * Link knots in the infobox same for nmi.
 * Done
 * "SMS Roon in the Kaiser Wilhelm Canal, c. 1910" Needs a circa template.
 * Added
 * Is it possible to standardise the 10/13-digit numbers in the ISBNs?
 * Done
 * Thanks CPA. Parsecboy (talk) 19:38, 17 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Nice work, support. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 20:29, 17 February 2020 (UTC)

Source review
The references are all appropriately formatted, and the sources are of high quality, exactly what you would expect for a German ship of this vintage. Spotchecks not conducted due to nominator's long record at FAC. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 08:41, 23 January 2020 (UTC)

Comments Support by PM
This article is in great shape. I reviewed at Milhist ACR so only have a few minor things to add here: That's all I could find. Nice job. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:44, 23 January 2020 (UTC)
 * in the first sentence I suggest adding "in the 1900s" after "(Imperial Navy)"
 * Good idea
 * link knots in the lead
 * Done
 * drop the comma in "In September 1911,"
 * Done
 * were the 8.8 cm guns in the superstructure open mounts?
 * Clarified
 * suggest being consistent with the deck armour measurements between the infobox and body, one in mm the other in cm
 * Fixed
 * full stop after Fritz Hoffmann
 * Good catch
 * Eugen Kalau vo m n Hofe
 * Eugen Kalau vom Hofe is correct - "vom" is a contraction of "von dem"
 * perhaps state that HMS New Zealand was a battlecruiser
 * Done
 * Thanks PM. Parsecboy (talk) 15:03, 27 January 2020 (UTC)
 * - anything else you'd like to see addressed? Parsecboy (talk) 15:42, 10 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Nope, thanks for the ping. Supporting. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 23:07, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

Comments by Llammakey
That's all I could find. Otherwise good stuff. Llammakey (talk) 16:23, 24 January 2020 (UTC)
 * The length is not converted to feet/inches, only feet in both text and infobox
 * Good catch
 * Metric horsepower linked in infobox but not text
 * It is, in the first para of the design section
 * In Service history section, would rewrite the sentence "...Field Marshal Alfred von Waldersee christened the ship after Field Marshal Albrecht von Roon" as "...Field Marshal Alfred von Waldersee christened the ship Roon, after Field Marshal Albrecht von Roon" otherwise it sounds like von Waldersee took a turn christening the ship after von Roon.
 * Good point
 * Since you use ship and Roon in that sentence, would suggest changing "the ship" in the following sentence to "the cruiser" to break up repetition (since "ship" is also used in the word "flagship".)
 * Works for me
 * Are the two minelaying cruisers named Albatross different ships? If they are not, the second link in the Baltic operations section can go, as well as the "minelaying cruiser"
 * Fixed - didn't catch it since the first link lacked the dab
 * "retreat of the Albatross" - remove the definite article
 * Fixed
 * "break into the Gulf" - no need to capitalize gulf there.
 * Fixed
 * Thanks Llammakey. Parsecboy (talk) 21:30, 24 January 2020 (UTC)
 * Support - no problem Llammakey (talk) 17:07, 25 January 2020 (UTC)

Image review


 * Suggest adding alt text


 * Suggest scaling up the plan
 * Done
 * File:Roon_linedrawing.png is tagged as lacking author and description. Nikkimaria (talk) 15:31, 25 January 2020 (UTC)
 * Added. Thanks Nikki. Parsecboy (talk) 19:01, 27 January 2020 (UTC)

Comments from Harrias
I reviewed this article during its A-class review, and by and large I have little to add.
 * Use templates for foreign-language terms please.
 * Done
 * "..with the belt armor being 10 cm.." Avoid Noun plus -ing.
 * Reworded
 * In the lead it says that "There, she formed part of the reconnaissance screen during the raid on Yarmouth in November.." and in the body of the article, this is described as "The ships then escorted the main body of the High Seas Fleet during the raid on Yarmouth on 2–3 November." It's not immediately apparent to me if those two descriptions are exactly synonymous. Assuming that they are, I vastly prefer the plain phrasing used in the body; consider adopting similar in the lead, as "reconnaissance screen" is not accessible to a layperson.
 * Works for me
 * "Roon was ordered under the provisional name Ersatz Kaiser.." If I've learnt anything from these articles, that means she was replacing a ship called Kaiser, right? Can that be mentioned explicitly?
 * Done
 * "Prince Heinrich had pressed for such a cruise the previous year.." It would be worth providing context of why Prince Heinrich's opinion mattered. (A quick look suggests he was commander of the High Seas Fleet?)
 * Good idea
 * "..the armored cruiser Blücher, which had been transferred to I Scouting Group, and on 25 August.." It's not that important either way, but I'm not sure the explanation of why Blücher needed replacing is necessary in this article.
 * I think we could safely lose that.
 * I wonder if so much detail is necessary in the Scarborough, Hartlepool and Whitby paragraph. Including all the specific times seems to me to give the impression that it is very important information, and I felt like I had to pay very close attention. The stylistic difference to the rest of the article makes it stand out, and I'm not sure the content warrants it. Harrias  talk 15:26, 6 February 2020 (UTC)
 * That's a fair point - I've trimmed the times. Parsecboy (talk) 15:41, 10 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Support Nice work; I don't have any further concerns with this article. (Disclaimer; I am taking part in the WikiCup, and will claim points for this review.) Harrias  talk 18:04, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

Image review etc. from Shearonink

 * Permissions/sources for images look good, all check out.
 * All images (except infobox one) need alt-text
 * short description ("ship") is...well...kind of too short.
 * Personal observation - she was a beautiful ship. Wow. Shearonink (talk) 22:28, 15 March 2020 (UTC)

Coord note
Hi Nate, I know this isn't Harrias' area in terms of MilHist FAs (or indeed FAs in general given his cricketing interest) but I think we'd benefit from a quick look from someone outside the MilHist fraternity, if you could try and scare one up... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:43, 29 February 2020 (UTC)
 * I'll see what I can do. Parsecboy (talk) 13:58, 2 March 2020 (UTC)
 * It occurs to me that Llamakey is not a MILHIST guy, Ian. Parsecboy (talk) 14:38, 29 March 2020 (UTC)
 * Fair enough. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:31, 30 March 2020 (UTC)

Ian Rose (talk) 13:32, 30 March 2020 (UTC)