Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Sale, Greater Manchester/archive3


 * The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 20:57, 17 July 2007 (UTC).

Sale, Greater Manchester
previous FAC

I think the concerns raised during the previous nomination have been addressed. Epbr123 16:06, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
 * It was closed earlier today. (7/7) &mdash; trey  jay–jay 03:07, 8 July 2007 (UTC)


 * Support Above and beyond standards for featured place articles. BenB4 09:09, 8 July 2007 (UTC)
 * Oppose I haven't looked at the rest of the article, but I started copy-editing the history section. It is unclear enough in places to make copy-editing difficult and the structure ruins the flow of the article. I know it is is difficult to combine a timeline of a town's development with the individual aspects of that development, but this doesn't make any sort of logical division, covering some aspects from start to finish and dotting mentions of other aspects around without any chronology at all. Some points from the History section:
 * the first documented reference to the township of Sale dates from the 12th century, suggesting pre-Norman habitation (townships were a Saxon development) Firstly, it would be interesting to know where is it mentioned. Secondly, Pre-Norman habitation has already been established at the beginning of the paragraph, so a "suggestion" is not necessary (aside from which, the logic here seems faulty: townships were a Saxon development but unless no townships were created after the Norman Conquest it does not necessarily suggest pre-Norman habitation).
 * After the Norman conquest of 1066. I've changed this as the Norman conquest wasn't completed in 1066. Do you have a date for the division of Sale?
 * ...and several others. Are they so unimportant as to not be worth naming?
 * Sale was a farming community until the 17th century, a time when the garthweb weaving industry also developed. What "time" is this? From prehistoric times until 1600? Or does it mean that the garthweb industry developed at the beginning of the 17th century (in which case the "also" is redundant)? Some context for why the garthweb industry developed in Sale would be useful too. Are the conditions for growing hemp and flax particularly favourable in the area? Was there high local demand for saddles?
 * Sale began to grow in 1765... As the development of the garthweb industry is mentioned in the previous sentence, this doesn't seem likely unless the industry could develop with a fixed population.
 * Why were people wanting to commute to Manchester on the canal? Some context would be helpful here.
 * There are two sections on town halls divided by a section on the railway and canal which itself has an unconnected mention of the Napoleonic Wars inserted in the middle.
 * Town Hall is capitalized in the text and lower case in the image caption.
 * Was the Town Hall the only building damaged during the Manchester Blitz? The coverage of the Second World War seems cursory.
 * Sorry not to be more positive, but I suggest you withdraw the nomination and work on the article before resubmitting it. Yomangani talk 16:27, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.