Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Shannon Lucid/archive1

Shannon Lucid

 * Nominator(s): Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:18, 23 December 2022 (UTC)

This article is about the astronaut Shannon Lucid. She is the last of the original six NASA women astronauts chosen in 1978 to fly, and the last to be nominated at FAC. I would like to thank all the editors who participated in reviews of the other five -, , , , , , , , and  - and hope that some of you can find time over the Christmas holidays to review. Best wishes for the season. Hawkeye7  (discuss)  20:18, 23 December 2022 (UTC) (t &#183; c)  buidhe  21:23, 27 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Image review—pass

Support by Wehwalt

 * What's an exchange crew? Ditto an ASP?
 * The ASP or Cape Crusader handles the checkout at KSC. The exchange crew handles the post-flight activities. On missions where the Shuttle landed (or was supposed to) the ASPs handled both. Added text to this effect. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  19:51, 25 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Any info any activities the past ten years?
 * She spent the first two years looking after her husband, who had dementia, and died in 2014. She wrote a book about this which was self-published in 2019. She also published one about her experiences on Mir in 2020. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  19:51, 25 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Support Looks good, just a couple of quibbles.--Wehwalt (talk) 15:29, 25 December 2022 (UTC)

Comments Support by Pendright
Lead:
 * She has flown in space five times including a prolonged mission aboard the Russian Mir space station in 1996, and is the only American woman to have served aboard Mir.
 * and "Lucid" is the only...
 * I think it is okay as it is. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * She was awarded the Congressional Space Medal of Honor in December 1996, making her the tenth person and first woman to be accorded that honor.
 * accorded "this" honor
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * A graduate of the University of Oklahoma, where she earned her bachelor's degree in chemistry in 1963, master's degree in biochemistry in 1970 and PhD in biochemistry in 1973, Lucid was a laboratory technician at the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, from 1964 to 1966, a research chemist at Kerr-McGee, an oil company in Oklahoma City from 1966 to 1968, and a research associate at the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation from 1973 to 1978.
 * Suggest starting a new sentence after 1973.
 * Split sentence. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * She flew in space five times: on STS-51-G, STS-34, STS-43, STS-58, and her mission to Mir, for which she traveled to the space station on the Space Shuttle Atlantis with STS-76 and returned six months later with STS-79.
 * Replace one of the three pronouns referring to Lucid with "Lucid"
 * Um, okay. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * She was the NASA Chief Scientist from 2002 to 2003, and served as capsule communicator (CAPCOM) at the Mission Control for numerous Space Shuttle missions, including STS-135, the final Space Shuttle mission.
 * and "Lucid" served as
 * Re-worded. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)

Early Life:
 * They moved to Lubbock, Texas, and then settled in Bethany, Oklahoma, the family's original home town, where Wells graduated from Bethany High School in 1960.[5]
 * hometown is one word
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * She sold her bicycle to buy a telescope so she could look at the stars,[6] and began building her own rockets.
 * Change one of the four pronouns to the subjects name
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Shortly after graduating from high school, she earned her private pilot's license with instrument and multi-engine ratings and bought an old Piper PA-16 Clipper that she used to fly her father to revival meetings.
 * Same as above
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)

Selection and training:
 * Water survival training was conducted with the 3613th Combat Crew Training Squadron at Homestead Air Force Base in Florida and parasail training at Vance Air Force Base in Oklahoma.[23]
 * Describe some of what the training included
 * There's a long description in the NASA Astronaut Group 8 article. How much detail do you want? Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * <>Just a range would provide readers with some notion as to what the traning included. Pendright (talk) 16:58, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Added a bit more. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  22:07, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
 * On August 31, 1979, NASA announced that the 35 astronaut candidates had completed their training and evaluation, and were now officially astronauts, qualified for selection on space flight crews.
 * Describe some of what the evaluation included
 * Although NASA calls it "evaluation", there are few tests or grades as such. You have to pass the swimming and survival courses. The Ascan concept was introduced after one of the astronauts selected in 1967 quit after not being able to learn to fly. But not until 2018 would an Ascan quit. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * <>Okay! Pendright (talk) 16:58, 1 January 2023 (UTC)

STS-51-G:
 * This had a different payload, and was scheduled to be launched on March 18, 1985.[32]
 * and "it" was scheduled
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * She had no love for Saudi Arabia and the way it treated women, nor for Islam.
 * Add some context
 * Added a few words. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * <>Thank you for your response, but my comment about context should have been more along these lines: assuming Lucid made these statements, to whom were they made, under what conditions, and when? If they were written, what were the circumstances? These statements seem inflamatory enough to merit a citation. Pendright (talk) 17:14, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
 * And they have two! See Balon Grey's section below for quoted source. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  22:22, 1 January 2023 (UTC)

STS-34:
 * The January 1986 Space Shuttle Challenger disaster later that month brought Space Shuttle operations to a halt while NASA conducted investigations, soul-searching and remediation.
 * Add a comma after soul-searching
 * Added. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * One casualty of the disaster was the Galileo project, an unmanned probe to Jupiter, which lost both its launch window and its ride, through the cancelation of the Shuttle-Centaur project.[43]
 * Replace comma through with "due to"
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * As this was much less powerful than the Shuttle-Centaur upper stage, Galileo had to employ gravity assists from Venus and Earth, and took six years instead of two to reach Jupiter.[45]
 * and "it" took six years
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)

STS-43:
 * Although the mission objectives did not change, the launch date was pushed back to July 23, and the orbiter was changed to Atlantis.
 * pushed "ahead" to
 * Changed to "postponed". Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * The launch was delayed by a day in order to replace a faulty integrated electronics assembly that controlled the separation of the orbiter and the external tank, and then the countdown was halted with five hours to go due to a faulty main engine controller, and the launch was postponed to August 1.
 * replace "the" faulty integrated electronics assembly
 * There are two them. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * due to "the" faulty main engine controller
 * There are three of them. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * STS-43 was the eighth mission to land at KSC, and the first scheduled to do so since STS-61-C in January 1986.[50]
 * and the first "one" schduled
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)

STS-58:
 * The techniques developed were intended to be precursors of those to be conducted on the Space Station Freedom, and a preliminary to long-duration space flights.
 * "Any" techniques developed
 * Not sure what is asked for here. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * <>The two sentences that preceede this one specak to a flight yet to happen. But this one, the third sentence, says - "The techniques developed were intended"? Confusing, at least to this reader. Pendright (talk) 17:23, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Re-phrased. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  17:49, 6 January 2023 (UTC)

Shuttle-Mir:
 * She arranged for the second volume to be sent on the next Progress re-supply freighter.[66]
 * resupply is one word
 * Joined. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Question: If the Russians did not speak English, how did she communicate with them or they with her?
 * In Russian. (Она говорит по-русски) Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:54, 30 December 2022 (UTC)

Awards and honors:
 * Lucid was awarded the Congressional Space Medal of Honor in December 1996 (for her mission to Mir), making her the tenth person and first woman to be given that honor.[74]
 * "this" honor
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)

Finished - Pendright (talk) 00:59, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * <>I've left some responses to yours that need to be cleared up. Pendright (talk) 17:23, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
 * I support this nomination, Pendright (talk) 00:23, 2 January 2023 (UTC)

Comments from Balon Greyjoy
Article looks in good shape! Here are my comments: Hawkeye7  (discuss)  22:42, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Convert templates don't use US spelling of kilometers.
 * Added sp=us cards Hawkeye7   (discuss)  22:42, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * "only American woman to have served aboard Mir" Maybe say "stayed aboard" instead? Served aboard sounds like a navy assignment.
 * Sounds good. Other American women had been aboard Mir, but Lucid was the only one who stayed. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  22:42, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * "bought an old Piper PA-16 Clipper that she used to fly her father to revival meetings" What defines the aircraft as "old"? It seems like it's only 11 years old at the time that she purchased it.
 * It is the term used in the source. I have changed it to "used". Hawkeye7   (discuss)  22:42, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Personal opinion, but I think the information about Kawai Dawn's naming is trivia and doesn't need to be included.
 * I have my reasons for this. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  22:42, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * "Water survival training was conducted with the 3613th Combat Crew Training Squadron at Homestead Air Force Base in Florida and parasail training at Vance Air Force Base in Oklahoma." I don't have the source material, but it seems unlikely that parasail training was at Vance AFB when there are no bodies of water around it.
 * Parasailing training was performed at Vance until 2007. See UPT class performs last parasailing training at Vance Hawkeye7   (discuss)  22:42, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Wow; did not know that. When I went through SERE they had recently ended training at NAS Pensacola, and I figured it had been there for a long time. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:34, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * "She was at Edwards Air Force Base with the exchange crew for the landing of the STS-5 mission in November 1982. The exchange crew took over from the flight crew after they had landed, and handled the post-flight activities." I'm assuming she was a part of the exchange crew, especially when a later sentence says that she was one again a member of the exchange crew? This reads like she was there in addition to the exchange crew.
 * Changed to "as a member" to avoid this interpretation. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  22:42, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
 * "As a devout Christian, she had no love for Saudi Arabia and the way it treated women, nor for Islam." Couple changes here: 1). "No love for Saudi Arabia" is a bit of a figure of speech, maybe something like "she disagreed with the Saudi Arabian government's treatment of women" 2). As strict Christian beliefs also consider men to be superior to women, I don't think her values should be prefaced with "As a devout Christian" if the issue was predominantly the mistreatment of women. Assuming that Lucid does not harbor Islamophobic beliefs, I think it's a mischaracterization to include that she does not like an entire religion.
 * It isn't a mischaracterisation. For Lucid's religious views, see No Sugar Added. Re-organized this a bit to make it clear that there are two aspects. Also, if you're going to understand Christianity, you need to take on board the reconciliation of contradictory concepts.
 * I think your new version is much better. If she had/has anti-Islamic views, I think it's fine to include that in the article, but I'm glad it is more explicitly stated in your newer change. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:37, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * "When the rest of the crew arrived in Riyadh, her absence was noted. This prompted a call from King Fahd of Saudi Arabia to President Ronald Reagan, and Lucid was put on the next flight to Saudi Arabia. She shook hands with the king, but stayed for only one day." I would break up these sentences differently, and remove "Lucid was put on the next flight" since I'm assuming that is an exaggeration of how quickly she traveled to Saudi Arabia. Maybe something like "When the rest of the crew arrived in Riyadh, her absence prompted a call from King Fahd of Saudi Arabia to President Ronald Reagan. Soon after, Lucid flew to Saudi Arabia, where she shook hands with the king, but stayed for only one day."
 * Changed as suggested. Unfortunately, I don't have the book here. However, here's what the author has to say in an article: "For her own part, Lucid had no love for the Saudis. After the mission, invited to meet King Fahd, with the rest of the crew, in Riyadh, she refused. “She particularly objected to Saudi treatment of young women and disfigurement,” John Fabian recalled, “and she didn’t want to be a part of that. There was a lot of time and effort spent convincing her otherwise, to absolutely no avail.” When the other astronauts arrived in Riyadh, they were greeted by Al-Saud, whose looked around for Lucid. Her absence did not go down well with the sultan or the king…or with President Ronald Reagan. “Well, the King called the President,” recalled Fabian. “The President called the NASA Administrator. The NASA Administrator called the Johnson Space Center Director…and Shannon was on the next 747!” Lucid may have lost the battle, but she won the war, for she spent barely a day in Saudi Arabia, shook King Fahd’s hand, and returned promptly home."
 * "Space Shuttle operations to a halt while NASA conducted investigations, soul-searching, and remediation" I would remove "soul-searching" since I think that sounds more intangible than the Rogers Commission and SRB redesign. I would also add that flights were stood down for 32 months/2.5 years to give the reader a better sense of how long the pause was.
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  19:52, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Is there any more information on Lucid's role on STS-34?
 * Possibly. I don't have my books at the moment so this will have to wait until next week. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Added a bit more. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  19:48, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * "The mission was accomplished in 79 orbits of the Earth" Active voice here? Something like "The mission completed 79 orbits of the Earth..." or "Atlantis completed 79 orbits of the Earth..." Same could be said for the STS-58 section.
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  19:52, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * "Although the mission objectives did not change, the launch date was postponed to July 23, and the orbiter was changed to Atlantis." I feel like delays are pretty normal, so I'm not sure why this begins with "Although the mission objectives did not change" as if that is the expectation.
 * Sure. Deleted. Objectives rarely changed, but the details could change, especially if you had to swap shuttles, as each was different. You would think that over the course of 135 launches that they would get fewer holds, delays and scrubs, but this was not the case. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Is there more information about the STS-58 mission, and Lucid's role? The paragraph about the mission is shorter than the one about crew selection. The only mention of Lucid is that she was on the crew and how long she spent in space.
 * Possibly. I don't have my books at the moment so this will have to wait until next week. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Added a bit more. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  19:48, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * "The prospect of a long stay on Mir was not one calculated to appeal to most astronauts:" This makes it seem like the intention was to have a program that the astronauts didn't want to volunteer for. Maybe something like "Few astronauts volunteered for the exchange program, as they would be required to learn Russian and train at Star City for a year in order to spend several months..."
 * I don't think that phrasing conveys intent, although it was made more difficult than it could have been. I don't think volunteers were called for in the sense that most readers would imagine. I will have to look into this further. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Did Bonnie Dunbar and Norm Thagard volunteer for the Shuttle-Mir program? Lucid's quote makes it sound like nobody else volunteered, but then she is in Star City with 2 other astronauts to train.
 * I believe Thagard did. I will need to consult Seddon's book about Dunbar. There was one more astronaut involved from memory. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * As I suspected, Dunbar was a "volunteer" only in the Army sense. According to Dunbar: "I came back from NASA Headquarters the first week in December, and I was actually prepared to enjoy Christmas and do other things. And just shortly before Christmas, my boss, Dave [Leestma] called me in and said, "Bonnie, I need to have you go back up Norm [Norman] Thagard, who's going to fly this first increment." And I said, "When?" And he said, "February." And I said, "Well, I don't know if I'm ready." He said, "I need to have you do this." As far as I'm concerned, Dave practically walks on water. And I grew up the daughter of a Marine, so I don't say normally say no when I'm asked to go do something; it's part of my duty. So I talked to him for a long time about it, and I talked to my husband. "This is the right thing to go do." I didn't feel totally prepared, especially in the area of language. I'd taken some Russian before. In fact, I took Russian classes in 1992, and I could read it, sound out the words. I knew the letters and so forth. I wasn't able to really speak it. So I started crash Russian courses just to try to help me prepare. Then I met with Mr. Abbey and Dr. Huntoon in a private meeting where we talked about this, and they talked about why they wanted me to go. I expressed my reservations about the language and they felt I could learn the language, that what I brought to the program was my knowledge of the payloads, the science and science operations from my prior 3 flights. I already knew the experiments. I wasn't part of the actual selection committee, but I was part of the planning because we were funding it out of Code U. I knew perfectly well what the program was going to be. And I had some knowledge of these people and had helped advocate cooperate research while I was in NASA Headquarters. So at least I guess they felt comfortable with me going and sticking it out and supporting the program."


 * Include the title of the science-fiction book that Lucid liked.
 * Source doesn't say. I'll see if I can find it. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * It was The Mirror of Her Dreams by Stephen R. Donaldson. Sounds like quite a potboiler. It has a Wikipedia article, so added and linked. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:52, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * I would remove the Begley quote about M&Ms; the previous few sentences establish that Lucid wanted American comfort food without that anecdote.
 * Sure. Deleted. (M&Ms are comfort food?) Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * "Her helmet became stuck, and technicians had to use pliers and a screwdriver to remove it." I would add some more information about how her helmet was stuck (presumably to the rest of her spacesuit), something like "Her helmet became stuck when she tried to take it off after landing, and she required help from technicians with pliers and a screw driver."
 * Are you sure? I would have thought that removing the helmet was the job for the exchange crew. Do you have a source? Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Apologies for my poorly phrased suggestion. What I was getting at was that it's not clear what her helmet was stuck to. Starting the sentence with only "Her helmet became stuck" doesn't make it clear if it is stuck to her pressure suit neck ring (what I presume happened) or if it was just stuck somewhere in the orbiter (falling behind a seat, getting wedged into a tight space, etc.). Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:13, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
 * I would remove the sentence about the Corvette, it seems trivial to include a comment from her son.
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * I would remove the long list of Space Shuttle missions that she worked as the CAPCOM, sine it's the majority of the final 20 or so missions. Maybe just state that she was "the lead CAPCOM for 16 Space Shuttle missions from STS-114 to STS-135, the final Space Shuttle flight."
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  21:54, 2 January 2023 (UTC)

I'll be back to add more comments. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:07, 30 December 2022 (UTC)

I think that's it. Nice work. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:46, 2 January 2023 (UTC)


 * Support. An interesting life story well told. I made a couple of minor tweaks (spelling and dashes), but that was all I could find on a couple of readthroughs. Nice work. SchroCat (talk) 16:30, 6 January 2023 (UTC)

Source review
Footnote numbers refer to this version.
 * Missing the publisher location for Mullane, and also for the two books by Lucid listed in the Bibliography section.
 * Added. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  23:56, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Looks like you didn't save that edit? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:14, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Added. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:46, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * For cite news, you sometimes use the newspaper parameter and sometimes the publisher parameter. I could see a possible deliberate distinction between online news sites such as CNN, and newspapers such as the El Paso times, but for example there are two cites to Spaceflight Now, one done using the newspaper parameter and one with publisher.
 * Yes. Newspapers use the newspaper parameter and other news sites use the publisher. Both Spaceflight Now citations are now using publisher.
 * I thought that might be the intention. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:14, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Similarly for the press releases -- all are from NASA but you only give the publisher in some cases.
 * All now have the publisher. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  23:56, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * There is one inconsistent web citation, to baynews9.com; it uses "website" but every other web cite uses publisher.
 * Changed to use the publisher. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  23:56, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * The link for FN 8 doesn't work and there's no archive link. Same for FN 93.
 * Removed number 8. The Discover magazine link has moved; updated it. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  23:56, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * OK for 93; 8 is still there; was it also an unsaved edit? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:14, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Yes. WMF went down while I was editing this morning. Corrected. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:16, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * FN9 is to a newspapers.com page; can you clip the article so it's accessible to non-subscribers?
 * I regret that I cannot. Maybe someone else has the required access. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  23:56, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * I'll do it and will strike this when done. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:14, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Clipped. I'm not familiar with sfn so I'll let you add the link to the article. Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 01:20, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Done. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:16, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * FNs 55 & 56 are duplicates.
 * They are not duplicates. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  23:56, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * They may not be intended to be duplicates but the text of the citation and the link strings are identical. I double-checked.  Am I missing something? Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 01:14, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * I was looking at the wrong pair. Consolidated. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  02:16, 9 January 2023 (UTC)

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:01, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
 * All but one struck above. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 02:33, 9 January 2023 (UTC)

Pass. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:58, 10 January 2023 (UTC)

Support Comments by JennyOz
Placeholder for now... JennyOz (talk) 15:00, 9 January 2023 (UTC)

Hi Hawkeye, I noticed it's nearly her 80th birthday, what a shame this won't be ready for TFA. Here are my comments...

lede
 * At one time, she held the record - For some time?
 * Changed to say when. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * second para - there's 6 x Oklahoma in that short 2-sentence para. Maybe drop the city and state location from "the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma". Let readers assume the Foundation's whereabouts, they'll find out when they get into the article?
 * Done, but it kicks the can down the road. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * She was the NASA Chief Scientist from 2002 to 2003, and she served - second "she" can go?
 * The problem here is the breaking of the rhythm though the loss of the comma. Deleted and tweaked the wording. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * for numerous Space Shuttle missions - wlink Space Shuttle Missions?
 * Linked. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)

Early life
 * bought a used Piper PA-16 Clipper that she used - preowned Piper? (avoids 2x used)
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * named for the place and time - should place be piped to Kawai Point maybe that's where they were for sunrise? It's the correct spelling.
 * Thanks. Corrected. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * during Lucid's honeymoon - the Lucids' honeymoon
 * Changed. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)

NASA career
 * Lucid was the only one who was a mother at the time - Lucid was the only mother at the time
 * Don't see the improvement here. What''s interesting is that five of the six women had no children, but only four of the 29 men in the group. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * stated that this was not taken into consideration during - not a factor?
 * Let me think about this one. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * certain aspects of the Space Shuttle program, - move link up to "including an introduction to the Space Shuttle program"
 * Moved the link. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * x-ray astronomy - cap X, wlink
 * Capped and linked. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)

STS-34
 * After this mission, - after the STS-51-G mission
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * One casualty of the disaster was the Galileo project - not sure about using "casualty" here when the real casualties were 7 people. Suggest something like One consequence / repercussion of the disaster was the delay of the Galileo project?
 * Changed as suggested. Sometimes you have one thing in mind while writing about another. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Lucid was the one primarily responsible - "the one" not necessary
 * Deleted. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * and initiated it}s deployment by - remove bracket
 * Deleted. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Air Force Maui optical site - wlink?
 * Linked. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Lucid and Chiang-Diaz operated the PM experiment - Chang
 * Ooops. Corrected. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)

STS-58
 * known as an accelerometer recording units - drop "an" or "s" from units
 * Deleted "an". Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Along with Seddon, Wolf and Fettman, she collected blood - Lucid instead of she
 * Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * drew blood from the tails of the mice to measure - rats not mice
 * Oops. Corrected. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Orbiter Columbia - is orbiter intentional proper noun here?
 * Don't think we need it here. Deleted. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)

CAPCOM
 * sixteen Space Shuttle missions - wlink
 * Linked. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)

Later life
 * She later wrote about experience in her book - her or the or their experience?
 * Added demonstrative pronoun. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)

misc That's it. Enjoyed reading this bio. JennyOz (talk) 15:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * But You’re A Girl!': - curly apostrophe
 * Replaced. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * at that point, because we’d - curly
 * Replaced. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ‘You Didn’t Prepare Me’: Remembering America’s Galileo - 4x curlies
 * Replaced x 4 Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ref Shayler, David ... Chicester, UK - Chichester
 * Corrected. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * I wandered off to try to understand the OV templates but am confused with the article's 3 different parameters:
 * 5x full=nolink
 * 1x fill=nolink
 * 1x full=no
 * "fill" is a typo - corrected. Removed one. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * caption The first class of women astronauts. - that reads a bit ambiguously, as a class of only women? Maybe swap "of" to with? Or 'the first women astronauts' or 'Group 8's original women astronauts'
 * Changed. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:32, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Hi Jenny, how's it looking now? Gog the Mild (talk) 11:13, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
 * G'day - I had no ping from Hawkeye and supposed he was not yet ready for me (per "Let me think about this one"). It's looking fine though so I'm happy to s'port. Again I'll say though, it's a pity it won't be TFA in two days time for her 80th birthday. The article currently queued doesn't seem to have a 14 Jan connection? C'est la vie. JennyOz (talk) 11:58, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
 * JennyOz, that was a pain, but your wish is my command. Done. Gog the Mild (talk) 16:06, 12 January 2023 (UTC)

Gog the Mild (talk) 12:26, 12 January 2023 (UTC)