Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Taxi Driver (Alexander McQueen collection)/archive1

Taxi Driver (Alexander McQueen collection)

 * Nominator(s): &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 00:17, 1 July 2023 (UTC)

Comments Support by Chris

 * Just a couple of UK English tweaks from me....
 * "believed it was named to honor...." => "believed it was named to honour...."
 * "recalling that the collection was named for the film" => "recalling that the collection was named after the film"
 * That's it! Another excellent McQueen article -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 16:55, 1 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Both done, thanks as always for your comments! &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 19:52, 1 July 2023 (UTC)


 * Support -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 21:59, 1 July 2023 (UTC)

Aoba47

 * In the lead and the body of the article, the "the" in the Ritz should not capitalized.
 * Tweaked


 * I would encourage you to add WP:ALT text to the images
 * Added


 * For "a pattern cutter", I think it may be helpful to add a link for pattern for readers who may be unfamiliar with the concept.
 * Done


 * Is there a way to link "masters-level course" to help non-U.K. readers?
 * I don't think we have an article about British masters degrees, so I've linked Master's degree
 * Thank you for addressing this point. Aoba47 (talk) 01:09, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * If read literally, this part, (Concerned about the difficulty involved in launching a brand-new business, McQueen's preference), reads that his preference was the one concerned. I would instead use something like (McQueen preferred to land a job...).
 * Untangled


 * For this part, (McQueen used liquid latex), is there a reason why liquid latex is not linked directly instead?
 * Different product - liquid latex the article refers to a specific latex compound used in special effects, but this is more like cheap industrial latex in liquid form.
 * Thank you for the clarification. That makes sense to me. Aoba47 (talk) 01:09, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * I have a question about this sentence: (The collar alone apparently took two weeks of work.) I found the "apparently" word choice a bit odd. I looked at the source and found that it presents this timing as more of a fact. Is there any reason why "apparently" was added? It just makes the timing seem more uncertain than the source lets on.
 * That's fair, I removed it


 * I have a question about how items are linked in the citations. Citation 3 does not have The Daily Telegraph linked, Citation 4 does not have GQ linked, and Citation 5 does not have The Independent linked. I know that different editors link items differently in citations (whether only on their first use or in each citation), but I would think that these items should at least be linked on the first use.
 * Not intentional, just oversight. All sites should now be all linked in all citations.
 * Thank you for the clarification and the revisions. It happens to the best of us. Aoba47 (talk) 01:09, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * Citation 9 should have The Daily Telegraph, not just The Telegraph. Citation 32 should have The Sunday Telegraph for the same reasons.
 * Fixed

I hope these comments are helpful. Once everything has been addressed, I will read through the article a few more times just to make sure I have not missed anything. Best of luck with the FAC! Aoba47 (talk) 18:58, 1 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Hello Aoba, always lovely to see you at my FACs :D Everything above has been fixed (I hope). Cheers! &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 22:31, 1 July 2023 (UTC)
 * I am glad that I could help. I always enjoy reading your work on here and I found this article to be very engaging and interesting. I will read through the article again tomorrow. Aoba47 (talk) 01:09, 2 July 2023 (UTC)
 * I have read through the article again, and everything looks solid to me. I support this FAC for promotion based on the prose. Aoba47 (talk) 11:00, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

Source review by Vat
I reviewed this article at GAN, and I see it's already getting plenty of prose attention, so I'll focus on a source review instead.


 * Personal preference, but: ref order at is disordered.
 * Fixed


 * Sources all have reliable publishers, seem to be within normal variance of opinions on the subject, and are archived where required.
 * Formatting is acceptable until we repeal citevar
 * you'll never defeat the efficient power of sfn, villain


 * Article links for notable writers all seem to go to the right place, and none of them say anything like "wrote a hitpiece about Alexander McQueen after trying to murder him" or something.
 * In-depth spotchecks not required, but I checked a couple out of curiosity and saw nothing amiss.

Source review is a pass. As a general note, I'd recommend doing something with the monetary figures -- there are two different currencies used in the article, so converting between them would be worthwhile, and it'd also be nice to have inflation-adjusted amounts. (Per GAN, a clarification that the intended price of the jacket was £800 is still probably reasonable to avoid the whiplash of nothing actually having actionable prices.) Vaticidalprophet 16:03, 2 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks for taking care of the source review, Vati! I feel like including both GBP-US and 1994-present conversions would be really cluttered and confusing, so I'd prefer not to. Also, I still don't get what you mean when you say nothing had actionable prices. The items were for sale to retail buyers, that was the whole point of the exhibition. &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 05:28, 3 July 2023 (UTC)

PCN02WPS

 * "by British designer Alexander McQueen" → recommend changing to "The British fashion designer..." to avoid a false title
 * Same false title issue as above is present to begin the body
 * I prefer the less cluttered version without the "the" and I don't see anything in MOS that prohibits it. It also has not been an issue at previous FACs.


 * "sometimes controversial designs, and dramatic fashion shows" → I think the comma should be after "controversial" since "and dramatic fashion shows" doesn't need a comma before it on its own
 * Hm, ok


 * "Journalist Dana Thomas describes the exhibition" → this present-tense sounds a bit odd in a paragraph of all past tense
 * Tweaked


 * "had come by and removed everything" → "come by" seems redundant to me; I think this would be better as "had removed everything"
 * Yeah, removed


 * This may seem silly but I think a link to nightclub would be helpful upon the first reference of "clubbing" or a "club" since some readers might not know what that's referring to
 * Reworded to accomodate this

That's all I got on my first readthrough, not much to complain about at all. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 16:23, 2 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review PCN02WPS! I've responded above, let me know how it looks. &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 06:10, 3 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Awesome! That's honestly all I had so I am happy to support - very well done. PCN02WPS  ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 14:39, 3 July 2023 (UTC)

SC

 * Putting down a marker. - SchroCat (talk) 21:03, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Background
 * “London's notoriously poor East End” Not sure about the description here. Having lived in East London over 30 years ago, I can assure you that while there are some parts that are poor, there are other bits that are quite well-to-do (and “notorious” is even more of a stretch!)
 * Yeah, on review of the source I did go a bit off-label there. I've tweaked it


 * Creation of label
 * “nothing panned out” is a bit slangy: “but nothing came of them” would be a bit more formal
 * Yup, fixed


 * Sales efforts
 * “coat-check fees”: it’s a cloakroom in English
 * Fixed


 * Reception
 * the Sunday Times should be The Sunday Times
 * The'd


 * “unequivocably” is normally spelled “unequivocally”: which way does the quote put it?
 * Double checked and it is indeed "unequivocably"

That’s it: scant fare from another excellent article in the series. - SchroCat (talk) 22:11, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks as always for your comments, SC! &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 22:49, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Support. Excellent work again. - SchroCat (talk) 14:55, 11 July 2023 (UTC)

Comments from HAL

 * -- is there a more encyclopedic way to word this?
 * wikt:clubbing is the usual noun to describe going out and engaging in various nightclub activities. Both Webster's and OED define it this way.


 * --> "sharp tailoring that became a McQueen signature" per WP:WOULDCHUCK
 * Revised


 * Ditto
 * Also revised


 * -- subjective, but I don't think that comma is needed. Feel free to disregard.
 * I tried it without but I think it reads better with


 * - should that be hyphenated? Also, why not just say "new"?
 * Trimmed


 * Ditto, and what is a silhouette?
 * I changed it to "completely new"; it really should be emphasized what an unusual thing it was to do at his age and experience level. In fashion, the silhouette is the outline of a garment on its wearer. Think an A-line dress, or bell bottoms. We don't have an article on the concept because our coverage of fashion is monstrously bad, although I've just added it to wiktionary.


 * -- would 'the' be more appropriate?
 * Sure


 * With, the lead makes it sound as if it was stolen rather than taken by garbage collectors.
 * Revised the lead


 * What are ? Could you link it?
 * I had this whole explanation of couture typed up and then I looked at the source again and just reworded it.

That's all. Nice work. ~ HAL  333  14:32, 11 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Hi Hal, thanks for the comments. Responded above. &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 06:29, 13 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Hi, I was wondering if you felt in a position to either support or oppose this nomination? Obviously, neither is obligatory. Thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:30, 16 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Oops, forgot about this one. I'm happy to support. ~ HAL  333  18:58, 16 July 2023 (UTC)

Image review—pass
That should complete image review. Pseud 14 (talk) 14:36, 16 July 2023 (UTC)
 * File:McQueen feather corset from Watt.png non-free image has appropriate WP:FUR for its inclusion.
 * File:Bumster skirt highland rape.jpg non-free image has appropriate WP:FUR for its inclusion. While not required, suggest archiving to avoid link rot.

Support
I focused on the prose while reading the article and everything seems good to go. Really enjoying this series!--NØ 04:57, 19 July 2023 (UTC)

Drive-by comments
Gog the Mild (talk) 14:15, 20 July 2023 (UTC)
 * In the bibliography, Frankel seems to be out of alphabetical order.
 * Is there a publisher location for Thomas?
 * Hi, both are now fixed. &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 00:51, 21 July 2023 (UTC)

Gog the Mild (talk) 12:00, 21 July 2023 (UTC)