Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/USS Oberrender/archive1

USS Oberrender

 * Nominator(s): Kges1901 (talk) 00:50, 22 August 2019 (UTC)

My first United States Navy ship article expansion is on a small World War II destroyer escort that was fairly lucky until it was hit by a kamikaze at Okinawa. The first on a destroyer escort to pass a GA review, the article recently also passed a Milhist A-class review. Kges1901 (talk) 00:50, 22 August 2019 (UTC)

Comments Support by PM
I reviewed this in detail at Milhist ACR, so have little to add:
 * suggest lk=on for the power in the infobox to link kW
 * Done


 * where were the TTs located?
 * Added


 * any information about how many DCs she could carry?
 * Friedman does not state, though he writes that an early DE design study (though not for the Butler class) equates 4 throwers and 2 racks with a total of 75 DCs.


 * suggest using Netherlands New Guinea instead of New Guinea re Hollandia
 * Done


 * is there a link for Abercrombie?
 * Done

That is all I can find. Nice job. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:04, 23 August 2019 (UTC)
 * Supporting, nice job. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 11:24, 23 August 2019 (UTC)

Image review


 * Suggest adding alt text. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:07, 24 August 2019 (UTC)
 * Done

Source review

 * Spot checks not done;
 * Searches for potential additional sources showed nothing missing;
 * The sources used are all reliable and of the standard I would expect at FA;
 * Can you check the location for Bauer? WorldCat and OpenLibrary both show New York – both have been known to be wrong though.
 * That's because Greenwood Press had three locations: Westport, NY, and London at the time, but Greenwood Press was headquartered in Westport, looking at the title page and verso


 * Formatting:
 * No need to link Westport, Connecticut
 * Done
 * Be consistent in locations, viz:
 * Anapolis should be Annapolis, MD
 * Done
 * Ditto for Boston, MA
 * Done
 * Jefferson, North Carolina should be Jefferson, NC
 * Done
 * As the US sources have "City, State" as the location, Stern should be Barnsley, South Yorkshire
 * Done
 * Naval History & Heritage Command should be Naval History and Heritage Command
 * Done
 * ISBNs should be formatted consistently. The 13-digit version is best (there is a converter here), and they should either all contain dashes or none at all.
 * Done.

Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 19:12, 25 August 2019 (UTC)
 * All good on sources: pass on the SR. – SchroCat (talk) 22:33, 26 August 2019 (UTC)

Comments Support by CPA-5

 * named for Lieutenant Commander Thomas Olin Oberrender, Jr. Is there a link for Mr Oberrender?
 * He would not meet notability guidelines if an article was created, so no link.


 * either in the forward fire room or the 20 mm mount Merge "fire room".
 * Done


 * In the infobox "10 × single 20 mm (0.79 in) AA guns" The Oerlikons are cannon, not guns.
 * two twin 40 mm Bofors anti-aircraft (AA) guns Same as above.
 * In English gun and cannon can be used as synonyms


 * superfiring over the 5-inch guns No metric units?
 * Added conversions


 * it was to secure before the invasion of Okinawa Link Okinawa.
 * Done

That's anything from me. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 20:24, 25 August 2019 (UTC)

Lingzhi

 * Question: Are we calling Spencer WP:PRIMARY? If not, why not? Tks ♦ Lingzhi2 (talk) 06:06, 26 August 2019 (UTC)
 * Per WP:PRIMARY, A primary source may be used on Wikipedia only to make straightforward, descriptive statements of facts that can be verified by any educated person with access to the primary source but without further, specialized knowledge. I have only used Spencer in this context of establishing the basic facts of what the ship was doing. Spencer is verifiable because many of the cited war diaries are posted on NARA and the remaining are on Fold3, which many users have access to. There are other FAs on military units that use war diaries or equivalents to fill in information not provided in secondary sources, such as No. 36 Squadron RAAF which uses the squadron Operations Record Book (the equivalent of a war diary). Kges1901 (talk) 10:40, 26 August 2019 (UTC)


 * OK sounds good. Cheers ♦ Lingzhi2 (talk) 13:41, 26 August 2019 (UTC)
 * I did consider this as part of the source review, and came to the same conclusion. My bad on not mentioning it in the review. – SchroCat (talk) 22:37, 26 August 2019 (UTC)

Support Comments by Sturmvogel_66

 * Hull classification symbol is a better link than hull number for USN warships.
 * Done


 * Don't capitalize battle stars
 * Done


 * was thus forced to remain there during November Say that she required repairs after the explosion
 * Rephrased to mention being repaired instead


 * There is a link for Express boilers
 * But that goes to a category
 * True, but it at least explains that they were small-tube boilers.


 * which created 12,000 shaft horsepower awkward
 * Rephrased


 * link superstructure, superfiring, hunter-killer
 * Done


 * two twin 40-millimeter these are twin-gun mounts for the Bofors
 * Done
 * No, you've changed it to read four twin Bofors. It needs to read "two twin-gun mounts" for the Bofors
 * Attempt 2 - four in two twin mounts. Does that make sense?
 * Yep--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 23:43, 27 August 2019 (UTC)


 * AFAIK the Oerlikons were manually aimed, unlike the Bofors.
 * True


 * Do you have an order date?
 * Not from an RS - there is one on shipbuildinghistory.com


 * who captained the ship commanded; not fond of captain as a verb
 * Done


 * Smoke testing?
 * My error


 * Change depermed to degaussing as a more recognizable term
 * Done


 * For repairs to correct deficiencies found during shakedown, Oberrender was ordered to the Boston Navy Yard Oberrender was ordered to the Boston Navy Yard to correct deficiencies found during shakedown
 * its destination her destination
 * Done


 * "Alongside" reads very oddly to me. Change to "together with" or somesuch
 * Done


 * Battle of Leyte Gulf, however, being delete however and rephrase appropriately
 * Done


 * after refueling in San Pedro Bay, Leyte, steaming to Manus with it awkward
 * Rephrased


 * being towed to the Lombrum Point Ship Repair Dock for repairs, where she remained for the rest of the month awkward. Perhaps "and had to be towed... that lasted the rest of the month"
 * Done


 * The destroyer escort depth charged and fired her Hedgehog at a suspected submarine contact on 3 January, without result. Again without result, she put up anti-aircraft fire against a Mitsubishi A6M Zero attacking a convoy of transports Awfully detailed. If you decide to keep it, change "put up AA fire against" to "engaged"
 * Eliminated the sub depth charging as that looks like another fish contact but kept the AA fire because this was one of the few times in her career that she fired AA guns in combat


 * putting up anti-aircraft fire that chased off a Zero and a D3A Val dive bomber "Driving off... with her AA fire"
 * Done


 * latter took bomb damage passive voice
 * Done


 * the direction of long-range 5-inch anti-aircraft fire rephrase--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:52, 26 August 2019 (UTC)
 * Rephrased
 * Fix the Bofors issue and we'll be done here.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:05, 27 August 2019 (UTC)

SC

 * Leyte and Mount Hood
 * "She missed the Battle of Leyte Gulf ... Oberrender returned". As it's a new para, you should start with Oberrender to clarify, and use "she" on the second mention
 * Done


 * Were there any fatalities or injuries on Oberrender because of the Hood's explosion? If not, that should be clarified too.
 * Done


 * Okinawa
 * "eight men were killed and 53 wounded": per the MoS, this should either be both words or both numbers
 * Done


 * ".[29][2]": reverse the refs to keep them in order (and check the others are also in order)
 * Done

That's it from me; I hope these help. Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 16:38, 27 August 2019 (UTC)
 * Support on prose. Nice article. - SchroCat (talk) 07:52, 30 August 2019 (UTC)

Ian Rose (talk) 23:03, 30 September 2019 (UTC)