Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Vazgen Sargsyan/archive2


 * The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by User:Ian Rose 04:26, 23 August 2013 ..

Vazgen Sargsyan

 * Nominator(s): Ե րևանցի  talk  05:54, 20 August 2013 (UTC)

I am renominating this for featured article because I believe that enough work has been done (by me and by a few other users) since the last nomination on July 23. I did some cleanup and hopefully reduced the number of grammar mistakes, I also reworded a couple of sections to make them more clear to the reader. Although I requested a peer review, nobody actually reviewed this article :( probably because Armenian military history and politics aren't one of the most interesting topics here. Ե րևանցի  talk  05:54, 20 August 2013 (UTC)

Oppose, 1a, and recommend withdrawal. The principal piece of advice given in the last nomination was that an independent copyedit was needed by a professional-level English writer. This doesn't seem to have been done, and the article still suffers from basic grammatical issues. Random pot-shots: These are just from one little section. I really appreciate your hard work on this article, but I don't think you are a strong enough English-language writer to get this to FA standards on your own. I encourage you to refrain from nominating this again until you've worked with a good copyeditor to get this in line. -- Laser brain  (talk)  13:43, 21 August 2013 (UTC)
 * "Vazgen Sargsyan helped the Pan-Armenian National Movement (PANM) to win the election and pass the constitutional reforms."
 * "The 1995 constitution gave the president much more powers"
 * "Vazgen Manukyan, the main opposition candidate, officially received 41% of the vote. Denouncing them he started demonstrations the next day ..." What is "them" referring to?
 * "An estimated of 200,000 people gathered in Yerevan's Freedom Square"
 * "Manukyan led the demonstrators to Baghramyan Avenue, where the parliament building is located and the Electoral Commission was inside the building at the time." Parallel structure needed.
 * Not only I have requested a peer review, which was not taken by anyone, but also a copy-edit a few days ago. It has not been done either, so I just did whatever I could myself. I guess, I'll have to ask more people for a copy-edit. -- Ե րևանցի  talk  18:01, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

Ian Rose (talk) 08:24, 23 August 2013 (UTC)
 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.