Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/W. Somerset Maugham/archive1

W. Somerset Maugham

 * Nominator(s):  Tim riley  talk   20:03, 24 August 2022 (UTC)

Following successful FAC nominations or co-nominations for George Bernard Shaw, Hugh Walpole, P. G. Wodehouse and Arnold Bennett I've been working on another British writer, and hope his article will be found worthy to join the other four at FA. I had excellent input at peer review, and as ever, all comments on content, prose, structure or anything else will be gratefully received here.  Tim riley  talk   20:03, 24 August 2022 (UTC)

Comments by Wehwalt
Mostly a placeholder as yet, but why is the full name bolded at the start of the body? If I may be so bold.--Wehwalt (talk) 20:10, 24 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Didn't it oughter? Shows my mastery of the MoS after all these years. Happy to unbold it, which I shall forthwith do.  Tim riley  talk   20:18, 24 August 2022 (UTC)
 * And now done. Thank you, Wehwalt!  Tim riley  talk   20:19, 24 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Also in footnote 2?--Wehwalt (talk) 14:54, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Well, I've only been editing for 16 years, so I can be excused (ahem!). Fixed.  Tim riley  talk   15:49, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * "Maugham never greatly liked the name, and was known by family and friends throughout his life as "Willie"" Which? William or Somerset?
 * Clarified.  Tim riley  talk   15:49, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * "He successfully sued for divorce in 1916, citing Maugham as co-respondent.[11][61]" The birth of the child served to establish adultery, I assume? (after a hasty glance my notes re divorce from the Earl Russell's article) It might be well to cite the grounds.
 * Done.  Tim riley  talk   15:49, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * "Samoa" Greater detail on this trip and why it was felt necessary (given that Samoa had been occupied by New Zealand at this point) might be interesting.
 * The source says "Germany had controlled Western Samoa until New Zealand occupied the island when war broke out in August 1914. The British had a strategic interest in Samoa, a turbulent and potentially troublesome island. The efficient German administration had been abruptly replaced by the government of New Zealand ... Vital information was needed about the use of the island's powerful radio station, the threat of German military forces and installations, and the danger from German warships still cruising the Pacific." That's about it – nothing more there, really, one can add to the article.  Tim riley  talk   15:49, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * That's all I have. Most interesting. I think I can safely Support--Wehwalt (talk) 14:54, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you, as always, Wehwalt, for your input and support.  Tim riley  talk   15:49, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

Comment by Dudley
Support. I read this at PR and Tim dealt with my niggles. A very interesting and well written article. Dudley Miles (talk) 20:35, 24 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you, Dudley, for your support here and v. helpful suggestions at PR.  Tim riley  talk   20:54, 24 August 2022 (UTC)

Comment by Z1720
Non-expert prose review.


 * The lede says "Three years into an affair that produced their daughter, Liza." but the infobox says "Mary Elizabeth Wellcome", which confused me. Suggest replacing Liza with Mary or Mary Elizabeth.
 * Good point. I've adjusted the info-box. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "Shortly before the birth of the Maughams' fourth son the government of France proposed a new law" suggest a comma after son
 * The article is in BrE, and we don't need superfluous AmE-style commas in such constructions. See the current (2015) edition of Fowler, pp. 4 and 732. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "Maugham's biographer Selina Hastings describes as "the first step in Maugham's loss of faith" his disillusion when the God in whom he had been taught to believe failed to answer his prayers for relief from his troubles." The grammar is a little weird in this sentence. Perhaps, "Maugham's biographer Selina Hastings describes as "the first step in Maugham's loss of faith" was when God failed to answer his prayers for relief from his troubles." It tightens up the language and makes the sentence grammatically correct.
 * Unfortunately the suggested change would make a grammatically correct sentence grammatically incorrect. "describes as … was when" is not English. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "While still in his teens he became a lifelong non-believer." I don't think still is needed and can be deleted.
 * Done. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "From 1892 until he qualified in 1897," What does qualified mean in this instance?
 * Qualified as a physician, as we have already said earlier. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "In his work as a medical student Maugham met the poorest working class people:" Suggest a comma after student
 * See explanation of BrE -v- AmE comma usage, above. This is correct as drawn so far as commas are concerned, but a hyphen would be an improvement in "poorest working-class people" I now notice. Duly done. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "on his 65-year career as a man of letters." -> "on his 65-year career as a writer." to avoid MOS:IDIOM
 * I agree. I inherited this sentence from earlier versions. One is loth to change more than one must of earlier editors' contributions: one has a duty to avoid saying grandly "This is how I would phrase it", unless one can conscientiously say the existing phrasing is wrong or doesn't do the job properly. Your comment salves my conscience about imposing my preferred wording here. Now "career as a writer". –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "Nevertheless he had a wish to marry, which he later greatly regretted. Looking back, he described his early attempts to be heterosexual as the greatest mistake in his life." Suggest combining these two sentences together as "Nevertheless he had a wish to marry, which he later greatly regretted and later described his attempts to be heterosexual as the greatest mistake in his life."
 * I don't see how that is an improvement. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "a Bildungsroman with unmistakably autobiographical elements." Remove unmistakably as an opinionated, POV term: it is possible that others might "mistake" and not notice the autobiographical terms, and the word isn't necessary.
 * I have removed the adverb and substituted "substantial", which is, ahem, substantiated in all the sources. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "According to some of Maugham's intimates, the main female character, the manipulative Mildred, was based on "a youth, probably a rent boy, with whom he became infatuated", but Raphael comments that there is no firm evidence for this,[11][55] and Meyers suggests that she is based on Harry Phillips, a young man whom Maugham had taken to Paris as, nominally, his secretary for a prolonged stay in 1905.[56]" This is very long sentence, and I suggest putting a period after the quote and removing "but"
 * Good. Done.


 * "When the book was published in 1915 some of the initial reviews were favourable but many, both in Britain and in the US, were unenthusiastic." Put a comma after 1915.
 * No. See explanation of BrE -v- AmE comma usage, above. This is correct as drawn.


 * "In 1915 Syrie Wellcome became pregnant, and in September, while Maugham was on leave to be with her, she gave birth to their only child, a daughter, Mary Elizabeth, known as Liza." If Wellcome had a child, then we can assume that she was pregnant, so that detail is not necessary to include unless there was something notable about the pregnancy. Suggest: "In September 1915, Maugham was on leave to be with Syrie Wellcome while she gave birth to their only child Mary Elizabeth, known as Liza." I also think that the readers will assume that this is a daughter by the name, so this cuts down the sentence some more.
 * See explanation of BrE -v- AmE comma usage, above. This is correct as drawn so far as the punctuation is concerned. As to the sentence, I agree we can lose "a daughter", and have blitzed it. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "In late 1920 Maugham and Haxton set out on a trip that lasted more than a year." Comma after 1920
 * See explanation of BrE -v- AmE comma usage, above. This is correct as drawn. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "which Maugham despised from the first, but found highly remunerative" -> "which Maugham despised but found highly lucrative" the article doesn't need to specify that he did not like it from the start, and I think lucrative is a more common word than remunerative.
 * In my experience – possibly an EngVar thing – there is a shady overtone to "lucrative" that "remunerative" doesn't suffer from. WSM's immediate dislike is worth mentioning. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "Maugham, as always, observed closely and collected material for his stories wherever they went." Delete as always as unnecessary
 * As this was his lifelong practice, not just on this trip, "as always" makes the meaning clearer. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "In Maugham's absence his wife found an occupation, becoming a sought-after interior designer." -> "In Maugham's absence, his wife became a sought-after interior designer." To reduce the number of words necessary
 * That would miss the key point that Syrie had found something to do other than make trouble for WSM. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "During the 1920s Maugham published one novel (The Painted Veil, 1925), three books of short stories (The Trembling of a Leaf (1921), The Casuarina Tree (1926) and Ashenden (1928)) and a travel book (On a Chinese Screen, 1922)" Either all of these years should be in brackets, or none should.
 * Yes. Done. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "Germans and remained at the villa, securing it and its contents as far as possible, before making his way via Lisbon to New York." Should this be "as long as possible"?
 * No. He secured them as much as he could. (And did a pretty good job, hiding paintings etc so that the occupying Germans did not get their hands on many of them. Can't quantify his success/failure rate from the sources, unfortunately.) –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "As always, Maugham wrote continually. His daily routine was to write between an early breakfast and lunchtime, after which he entertained himself." -> "As always, Maugham wrote continually. His daily routine was to write between an early breakfast and lunchtime, after which he entertained himself." I don't think the first sentence is necessary if the article states that his daily routine involved writing.
 * Start off with the general and move to the particular is how I have been taught to construct prose. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "and his influence for better or worse on his employer." Delete "for better or worse" as the sentence already says that biographers differ, so describing the two options for influence is not necessary.
 * His influence could have been for all sorts of things, but the question here is whether it was advantageous or deleterious. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "was an adaptation by other hands" by other hands might be considered an MOS:IDIOM. Is there a more specific way that these people can be described?
 * Yes. As others. Done. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * In the first paragraph of "Plays" it is weird how it says the majority of the plays were comedies, names his dramatic plays, then lists the comedies. Suggest putting the information about the comedies first then talk about the dramas.
 * Yes. I was a little dubious about this myself. Redrawn. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "A few of Maugham's plays have been revived occasionally. " I don't think this sentence is necessary and can be deleted.
 * The rarity of revivals and the small number of plays revived are worth mention, in my view. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * " In the 1928 volume Ashenden features in sixteen stories;" comma after 1928
 * No. See explanation of BrE -v- AmE comma usage, above. This is correct as drawn. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "Robert L. Calder notes that the writer's works" is this Robert Calder (writer)? If so, wikilink.
 * It is. Not sure what to do about the middle initial. The article is clearly ascribed to Robert L. Calder, but our article omits the L. I have piped with the middle initial, and might add a redirect from Robert L. Calder to Robert Calder (writer). What do you think? –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * In the Maugham article, I would have the prose reflect the name that Calder used in the byline of the source, which in this case would include the middle initial, and pipe it to the wiki article (as has already been done in the article). I'm also tempted to move Robert Calder (writer) to Robert L. Calder because sources seem to always use the L. Z1720 (talk) 14:26, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * I'd support that, if you like to propose it.  Tim riley  talk   14:31, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "In Calder's view Maugham's "ability to tell a fascinating story and his dramatic skill"" comma after view
 * No: see explanation of BrE -v- AmE comma usage, above. This is correct as drawn. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "but his liberal attitudes, disregard of conventional morality and unsentimental view of humanity led adapters to make his stories" comma after humanity
 * Unnecessary, and I should say ungrammatical. Fowler (p. 166) says "The subject of a sentence should not be separated by a comma from the verb it governs". In this case the eleven words from "liberal" to "humanity" are the subject, and "led" is the verb it governs. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "in "The Ant and the Grasshopper" a young adventurer marries not a rich old woman who dies soon afterwards but a rich young one who remains very much alive." -> " in "The Ant and the Grasshopper" a young adventurer does not marry a rich old woman who dies soon afterward but a rich young one who remains alive."
 * Not an improvement, in my view. The first point is that the hero marries, and the second, whom he marries. The "very much" is very much germane to the plot. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "A rising critic of a younger generation, Cyril Connolly," is this Cyril Connolly? If so, wikilink.
 * It is. He is already linked, above. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "Marking Maugham's eightieth birthday The New York Times commented" comma after birthday.
 * See explanation of BrE -v- AmE comma usage, above. This is correct as drawn. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

Those are my thoughts. Please ping when the above are addressed. Z1720 (talk) 00:31, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * User:Z1720, thank you for your suggestions. Some useful stuff there. Actioned as described above where appropriate. –  Tim riley  talk   10:27, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Support: Thanks for your responses. Sorry that you had to repeat about the commas. I added a comment about Calder above, but that won't change anything in the article. Feel free to ping me if there are other concerns. Z1720 (talk) 14:26, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much for the support as well as for your helpful suggestions. Do ping me if you want support for moving Calder's article.  Tim riley  talk   14:33, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

Image review

 * File:Ambassade_Royaume-Uni_Paris_1.jpg needs a tag for the original work
 * Nikkimaria, I'm being dim as usual: I'm not sure what you mean I should add. (Sorry to be so clueless.)  Tim riley  talk   10:50, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * No worries. This is a photograph of a building. The current tagging reflects the copyright of the photo. However, because France does not have freedom of panorama, we also have to be concerned with the copyright of the building. Nikkimaria (talk) 23:54, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * I see − thank you, Nikkimaria! The building was completed in 1725, designed by the architect Jean Antoine Mazin (1679−1740). Can you steer me in the direction of the right Commons tag to add to reflect that?  Tim riley  talk   07:35, 26 August 2022 (UTC)
 * I'd suggest . Nikkimaria (talk) 01:15, 27 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you. Done (and noted for future reference).  Tim riley  talk   06:45, 27 August 2022 (UTC)


 * File:Of-human-bondage-ad-1916.jpg is likely too simple to warrant copyright protection. Ditto File:Maugham-symbol.jpg, File:Of-human-bondage-cover-1915.jpg. Nikkimaria (talk) 02:36, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Licence tags altered for all three.  Tim riley  talk   10:50, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Once again, thank you, Nikkimaria for your help.  Tim riley  talk   06:45, 27 August 2022 (UTC)

Support by Fowler&fowler
What can I say? It takes me back to that summer sometime in high school when I read Of Human Bondage and Naipaul's Miguel Street (which had won the Somerset Maugham Award) among other books. So with that in mind as much as anything else, here's an appreciation, a list which I have scribbled on a dentist's bill&mdash;an anesthetic I hope for viewing it, and the nice touches for the commonplace book:
 * "his disillusion" (i.e. the condition of being freed from illusion)
 * "arranged accommodation for him, and aged sixteen he travelled"
 * "made himself comfortable there, filled many notebooks with literary ideas, and continued writing nightly,"
 * "From 1892 until he qualified in 1897, he studied ..."
 * "a reprint was quickly arranged"
 * "Lifelong, Maugham was highly reticent ..." (i.e. the comment adverb)
 * "providing a convincing domestic cover"
 * "despised from the first (noun as an adverb phrase)
 * "In M's absence his wife found an occupation ..."
 * (quoted) "materialistic determinism that discounted any possibility of changing the human condition"
 * (quoted from M): "words have weight, sound and appearance"


 * With that, I am happy to offer my support Fowler&amp;fowler  «Talk»  02:48, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Fowler&amp;fowler, many thanks for your support and the piquant comments above: they are greatly appreciated. I confess I was, and still am, not 100% convinced by "Lifelong, Maugham was highly reticent ..." but I couldn't think of a better way of putting it concisely. The grammar is all right but somehow the tune sounds a little off-key, if that makes sense. Be that as it may, can we, I wonder, look forward to Mandell Creighton at some point? It would be good if he were to get to FA. You will, I hope, be pleased to see that I have twice quoted your namesake in my replies to User:Z1720, above. −  Tim riley  talk   10:50, 25 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Sounds fine to me, but if you'd like you could change it to "All his lifelong he ..." I see Saul Bellow (whom I ran into once in the stacks of the college library in Chicago and was rendered speechless) has "All his lifelong he sold nonexistent property, concessions he did not own, and air-spun schemes to greedy men." (He might have life long.) Your choice. There's also Sterne: "all his lifelong he had made it a rule, after supper was over, to call out his family to dance and rejoice; believing, he said, that cheerful and contented mind was the best sort of thanks to Heaven that an illiterate peasant could pay."
 * And that brings me to the neglected Right Reverend, me being the peasant, that is. (I just finished Darjeeling at FAR, and have achieved some peace at Lion capital of Ashoka, a start class, so yes, I'm very much thinking of Creighton.) Have been tinkering, taking the load off James Covert (his only real biographer) by mixing in  Fallows (1964), MC and the English Church.  Fallows, slightly dated but OK,  has a lot on the later years which I hope to use.  There are the ODNB articles on MC and L(ouise)C. There is Lytton Strachey's sketch, or mis-sketch, and there are a few new articles.  All will be grist.  Surprisingly, there is still not a whole lot.  I will then pass on the article to you.  Will keep you posted.
 * Yes I saw the references to F. I have my grandfather's copy from the 1920s lying somewhere, as is the F brothers' The King's English (written in Edwardian times). Gifted they certainly were.  Fowler&amp;fowler  «Talk»  12:13, 25 August 2022 (UTC)


 * Many thanks for that. I've carried the episcopal thread over to your user talk page.  Tim riley  talk   13:43, 25 August 2022 (UTC)

Source review – Pass
Will do soon.  Aza24  (talk)   03:42, 28 August 2022 (UTC)


 * Formatting
 * Ref 95, "Mander and Mitchenson, pp. 252–252", strikes me as odd :)
 * Indeed. Typo now amended.  Tim riley  talk   11:46, 28 August 2022 (UTC)


 * Ref 160, McCrum, could use a retrieval date
 * Isn't it either/or? Publication date or failing that the retrieval date? For the purposes of WP:V either does the job and adding both seems superfluous. Where a full publication date is known (not merely the year), my practice has always been to stick to that. –  Tim riley  talk   11:46, 28 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Your logic is sound, but my comment arose because in all the other cases you have both publication and retrieval dates for such publications. This isn't pressing though.  Aza24  (talk)   20:46, 29 August 2022 (UTC)


 * ref 118, Sutherland, appears to be missing a publication year. Same with 187
 * In both cases I have ducked a question I can't answer. The Who's Who entry was put online in 2007 but of course derives from WSM's entry in the printed version, which came out during his lifetime at an unspecified date. Adding 2007 here would be rather misleading, I feel. For the Sutherland article, the OUP page says that it was written in one year (1996) and published online in a different one (2005). I think we can do without either date here, but I'm happy to add one of the two if pressed, though I'd be unsure which.  Tim riley  talk   11:46, 28 August 2022 (UTC)
 * If you were using the online sources, I see no issue with adding the dates which they were uploaded, I rather think of it akin to citing using a book's second edition, so citing that edition's year (you could even put |edition=Online). Without a date of any kind, I would be quite hesitant  Aza24  (talk)   20:46, 29 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Done. (The relevant citation numbers are now 117 and 186.)  Tim riley  talk   07:27, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * I believe the full name is BBC Genome Project
 * The BBC's web pages refer to it variously as "BBC Genome" or "BBC Genome Project". As with, say, Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg, I think the shorter and more familiar title is probably better for general purposes.  Tim riley  talk   11:46, 28 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Indeed!  Aza24  (talk)   20:46, 29 August 2022 (UTC)


 * The NYT ref 145 is missing a retrieval date as well, and should include the author's name, Anita Gates
 * Added the writer's name; for the retrieval date my comment above applies here too. –  Tim riley  talk   11:46, 28 August 2022 (UTC)


 * I understand the intent of ref 2 to world cat, but I don't think this is the right way to go about demonstrating the prevalence of the use of 'Somerset Maugham' over 'W. Somerset Maugham'. Perhaps something simpler like "in many the titles of some biographies and studies he is referred as Somerset Maugham tout court, see the that of Raphael, Meyers and Hastings for instance", then a ref would not be needed.
 * Very well. Done. –  Tim riley  talk   11:46, 28 August 2022 (UTC)


 * Reliability
 * I would be remiss to not mention the use of Maugham's own writings. I checked a few uses and found them largely appropriate, being primarily used for quotes and such Given that they are heavily outnumbered by scholarly references, this doesn't stand out as an issue to me. However, if any of them are indeed replaceable with secondary sources, you might consider doing so.
 * There are 15 citations to WSM's own writings: 12 are verbatim quotations of his stated opinions and the other three are my paraphrases of them. I have not relied on his writings so far as matters of fact are concerned: quite apart from Wikipedia's policy on primary sources, it would in this case be rash to rely on Maugham's versions of events, which are, to put it politely, questionable. The only borderline case, I think, is Footnote 3, which I inherited from an earlier version of the article and would be perfectly happy to blitz if nudged towards doing so. –  Tim riley  talk   11:46, 28 August 2022 (UTC)
 * This rationale seems sound. I figured for the sake of record keeping and thoroughness the topic ought to be addressed.  Aza24  (talk)   20:46, 29 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Good. Any thoughts on keeping/losing Footnote 3?  Tim riley  talk   07:27, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
 * For the sake of sourcing, it seems fine, but in considering the article as a whole, the footnote seems too detailed for inclusion.  Aza24  (talk)   19:39, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Quite so, and now removed. Thank you.  Tim riley  talk   19:49, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * Another matter I feel a need to address would be the use of rather old sources. These seem generally appropriate; refs 31–34 and 76–78, for instance, I cannot find genuine fault with in those contexts. But again, if any of these can indeed but substituted for newer sources, that would be best.
 * As you say, 31–34 and 76–78 are the original sources for contemporary press quotations. The only book source I have drawn on extensively that dates back to Maugham's own time is Mander and Mitchenson. There wasn't a second edition of that, but it may give you comfort to note that when their successors brought out a second edition of M&M's 1957 Theatrical Companion to Noël Coward in 2000 there were updates and additions to production details but I have not spotted any corrections of the first edition in the second. (And alas, new productions of Maugham plays are so rare that a second edition of that Companion will never be needed.) Of the three biographies I have most drawn on, Morgan's 1980 book is the oldest, but Meyers (2004) and Hastings (2010) cite Morgan repeatedly, and his is still probably the most important biography of WSM. –  Tim riley  talk   11:46, 28 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Fine by me.  Aza24  (talk)   20:46, 29 August 2022 (UTC)


 * Verifiability
 * No issues.  Aza24  (talk)   04:13, 28 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you, Aza24 for your thorough review. I loathe doing source reviews and am always grateful to editors who undertake the task; I found your layout in three separate sections particularly helpful. I have dealt with most of your suggestions and left questions about the others, above. –  Tim riley  talk   11:46, 28 August 2022 (UTC)


 * Pass for source review. I've left one response above regarding footnote 3, but I consider it more to do with article content than sourcing.  Aza24  (talk)   19:39, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Indeed, and thank you − I concur and have actioned accordingly. My thanks for the review and helpful follow-up remarks.  Tim riley  talk   19:49, 30 August 2022 (UTC)

Comments and support from Gerda
Again, I am curious and want to learn something new. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:50, 16 September 2022 (UTC)

TOC and infobox
 * I can imagine to begin with upper case (Travel) after "1920s: " unless the year goes to the end (which I have seen).
 * I am not all happy with a header of only years.
 * I believe that the headers for references - which create a lot of white space - might be reduced, replacing them by bold titles.
 * I'd prefer the occupations in the infobox as unbulleted list ubl - we have all that space.
 * These stylistic points are a matter of personal preference. I do not think your suggestions a particular improvement but I should have no strong objection to your altering the existing version if you insist on it.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)

Background ...
 * Can we first read what the oldest son did, and then what The Times thought?
 * The Times quote refers to the preceding words as well as those that follow.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * After having read about the children I conclude that William is the third or the fourth son, or what did I miss? I also wonder which child(ren) did not survive.
 * I have added Henry's dates to make it unmistakeably clear that he was the third son. Details of the babies that died in infancy vary from source to source, and I have not thought it necessary or desirable to bring them into the article.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * In the next para, I begin to think he could be the fourth, but only when born I can be sure ;)
 * As above.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * "He later said that for him" read strange the first time, it's ambiguous. Yes, the second reading made clear what's meant.
 * This seems entirely unambiguous to me, and says in plain words what I intended it it to say.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * "Two and a half years after Edith's death, Robert Maugham died, and Maugham was sent to England ..." - I'd call them his mother and his father, to avoid calling an adult woman by only her first name, and also the repetition of Maugham.
 * Yes, better. Done.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * Perhaps French being his first language could come sooner with life in Paris?
 * It would seem a bit pointless there, as speaking French in Paris pretty much goes without saying.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)

Secret service ...
 * "After the birth of his daughter, Maugham moved to Switzerland." That tells me he moved alone? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:29, 16 September 2022 (UTC)
 * He was sometimes alone, and sometimes with his future wife and their child, as stated in the paragraph.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)

1920s ...
 * The long sentence about the trip to U.S. and Honolulu ... might profit from a split, to avoid "before ... before".
 * Yes, better. Done.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * "had taken lovers of her own" - not sure we need "of her own"
 * In fairness to Syrie it seems only right to phrase it thus, as WSM had a lover of his own. Otherwise there would be a faintly pejorative air to the sentence.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * In the list of the works he wrote, I see too many brackets. All these works have articles, so the years are possibly not needed for this overview?
 * I do not disagree, but I know at least one editor, whose views I respect, who is a stickler for dates in such cases, and I am inclined to leave it as it is unless the balance of opinion is in favour of the change.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * How is a play from 1915 from the 1920s decade? - performance yes
 * The fact is as stated: Our Betters was WSM's longest-running play of the twenties, regardless of when it was written.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)

Second World War
 * "had already chosen a replacement as secretary-companion" - perhaps English is different but in German to say "replacement" of a person would seem disrespectful
 * I defer to you as regards German offensiveness, but the phrasing is neutral in English, which I imagine is why no earlier reviewer has objected to it.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)

I finished reading the Life section, will turn to Works later. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:06, 17 September 2022 (UTC)

I now read Works and like it. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:14, 18 September 2022 (UTC)

Finally: the lead. I like it all, but think to have first life, then work titles might provide background to the works. Perhaps fewer titles, and a bit of style? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:21, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
 * That would be an equally valid way of laying out the lead, but I do not think it would be noticeably better than the existing version. All above points now addressed. Thank you for your contribution.  Tim riley  talk   10:30, 21 September 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you for taking the time for detailed explanations, and I learned again. I still believe two sentences about his style in the lead would be good for someone who doesn't know his work, but up to you. Support. Excellent image layout, btw, which I don't see often. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:41, 21 September 2022 (UTC)
 * Point taken about mentioning WSM's style in the lead, and now done.  Tim riley  talk   17:24, 21 September 2022 (UTC)

Gog the Mild (talk) 21:43, 22 September 2022 (UTC)