Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of Sword Art Online episodes/archive1


 * The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was not promoted by SchroCat 07:08, 1 July 2014.

List of Sword Art Online episodes

 * Nominator(s): FairyTailRocks 05:51, 10 May 2014 (UTC)

Hey everyone! I believe that this is another anime list qualified for FL quality. I have expanded and fixed all tweaks regarding the article all in one edit because I have experimented it first in my sandbox before publishing it. Plus it will be amazing if it passed the criteria because this is one of the interesting animes I have watched. Thanks! FairyTailRocks 05:51, 10 May 2014 (UTC)
 * I also want to add that Sword Art Online was ranked seventh in the most viewed anime and manga articles as of April 2014 with the list ranking 84th. Thanks! FairyTailRocks 12:43, 11 May 2014 (UTC)

Comments by DragonZero
I don't think I can complete my review. I'll note you should keep improving on concision and removing unnecessary information. Randomly jumping into the list "Kirito accepts the invitation, but hides the fact that he is Level 40, twice the average level of the guild" is the level thing necessary? Being level 40 has no meaning what-so-ever to a general reader. "June 12, 2023" Same thing. As of now, I don't think the prose is at the level to garner my support (Haven't fully checked). I also want to note having the ref tab satisfies 5a better, in my opinion, as it prevents crossovers on higher zooms and mobile devices. DragonZero ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 21:32, 8 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Fixed some minor issues. FairyTailRocks 13:06, 22 June 2014 (UTC)


 * Oppose I'm going to agree with PresN's points, while again noting the concision and removal of unnecessary information in the summaries should continue. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 08:48, 27 June 2014 (UTC)

Comments by KirtZJ
I'm going to list some of the things wrong with this page which I feel pose a hindrance to a potential FL. I might be judging the page a bit harshly, but it's probably what's expected given the high standard a FL has to live up to.

Comments by CAWylie

 * I feel the Ref column is also unnecessary since the episodes have aired. Removing this column also frees up "real estate". —  Wylie pedia  05:47, 21 May 2014 (UTC)
 * This is what I'm trying to explain. —KirtZ Mail 05:50, 21 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Already removed. FairyTailRocks 06:45, 21 May 2014 (UTC)

Comments
 * "The players discover that they cannot log out where the creator of the game, Akihiko Kayaba issues them an ultimatum" - when, not where; needs a comma after Kayaba
 * "The series premiered from July 7 to December 22, 2012" - it can only premier once, it's just broadcast after that
 * "Eventually, Aniplex of America announced that the English version will be airing on Adult Swim's Toonami block starting from July 27, 2013" - eventually is editorializing, and the tense is wrong
 * "The first DVD and Blu-ray Disc volumes[...]concluded on June 26, 2013" - you need a new subject for that second verb
 * "An English dubbed version was released in North America on August 13, 2013" - dvd, or broadcast?
 * "While its second ending theme, used from episodes 15 through 24, is "Overfly" sang by Luna Haruna." - sentence fragment
 * "The third ending theme used for the final episode, is "Crossing Field"." - comma is unnecessary
 * Note A has a sentence fragment
 * "If they die in the game, their real bodies will perish, as well." - don't need that second comma.
 * "Kirito tries to warn him, but Illfang strikes down first" - strikes down?
 * "When Keita learns of his guild's demise, and Kirito's player level, he jumps to his death." - why would he kill himself because of Kirito's player level?
 * "However, their meal is interrupted by a scream." - you do this a few times, the "however, simple phrase" is really choppy- consider combining it with the previous sentence with ", but"
 * "Later, Yolko, Kains' girlfriend mentions" - comma after girlfriend, whenever you have an appositive where you define a name you just stated you need commas before and after it
 * You switch from Lisbeth to Liz in episode 7 without ever mentioning that it's the same person
 * I'm just going to stop here, I feel like I'm starting to skim the sentences and missing a lot. There's a lot of prose problems, even after all the comments above, and the whole list needs a copy-edit.
 * Additionally, I feel like the episode summaries could really be cut down. I know people above have said the same thing, but they still get a bit too in-depth even now.
 * -- Pres N  19:15, 24 June 2014 (UTC)

– SchroCat (talk) 07:19, 1 July 2014 (UTC)


 * The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.