Wikipedia:Peer review/1257 Samalas eruption/archive1

1257 Samalas eruption
I've listed this article for peer review because I am planning to send it to FAC once Allison Guyot passes/is archived, and recommended to do a PR in the interim.

Thanks, Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:35, 29 January 2019 (UTC)

Happy to post comments for this. Making a note to myself to get to this ASAP.  ceran  thor 15:07, 30 January 2019 (UTC)

Jo-Jo Eumerus posting comments for this today.  ceran  thor 15:58, 4 March 2019 (UTC)

Ceranthor's comments

 * Lead
 * "was a major eruption of the Samalas volcano, next to Mount Rinjani on Lombok Island in Indonesia." - from a vent next to Rinjani? Or do you mean that Samalas was next to Rinjani?
 * Either is technically correct, but it should mean the latter. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "making it one of the largest eruptions of the current Holocene epoch." - how would you feel about tweaking this to "of the last 10,000 years" and linking that to Holocene epoch?
 * Technically, the Holocene is the last 11,700 years (for climatologists), so I wouldn't make that approximation. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Fair enough. A nitpick anyway.  ceran  thor 17:56, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "In 2013, scientists proved that the eruption occurred at Mount Samalas." - I think "demonstrated" would be better than proved here, and can you elaborate just a bit more how they showed this?
 * Added a little, I am not sure how to couple it with the Babad Lombok sentence farther down. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "The volcano deposited more than 10 cubic kilometres (2.4 cu mi) of material." - just a teensy bit more detail on the "material" would be useful
 * Added. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "The eruption was witnessed by people who recorded it on documents written on palm leaves, the Babad Lombok." - pretty sure you mean here that the Babad Lombok is the document record, but it's not super clearly indicated as is.
 * Reworded. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "helped trigger the Little Ice Age, a centuries-old cold period during the last thousand years." - Do you mean "centuries-long"?
 * Yes, changed. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * Geology
 * "Samalas (also known as Rinjani Tua[2]) was part of what is now the Rinjani volcanic complex, on Lombok, in Indonesia.[3] " - Lombok Island, correct?
 * I don't think that needs to be spelled out, personally. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "Rinjani has also been volcanically active, forming its own crater, Segara Muncar." - wait, isn't Samalas part of the Rinjani complex?
 * Yes, but it is not the same thing as Samalas. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
 * That should be made more clear. Reading it was confusing to the point of being a bit distracting I think.  ceran  thor 17:56, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Added a word to make the distinction clearer. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:17, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "Mount Samalas may have been as high as 4,200 ± 100 metres (13,780 ± 330 ft)," - think "tall as" works better than "high as," which I'm not familiar with as a construction
 * Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * Link Dense-rock equivalent at first mention rather than second
 * Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "Additional eruptions by either Rinjani or Samalas are dated 11,980 ± 40, 11,940 ± 40, and 6,250 ± 40 BP.[11]" - I think it's dated "to", but this might be a nitpick
 * Probably not necessary. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "Most volcanic activity now occurs at the Barujari volcano with eruptions in 1884, 1904, 1906, 1909, 1915, 1966, 1994, 2004, and 2009. Rombogan was active in 1944." - I'd join these two sentences with a semicolon
 * Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "This was followed by lapilli rock and ash fallout, and pyroclastic flows that were partially confined within the valleys on Samalas's western flank." - Don't need the comma after fallout
 * See, I was thinking that this emphasizes that "lapilli rock" is part of "fallout". Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
 * What about replacing "and" with "as well as" then, so you can still emphasize "lapilli rock and ash fallout"?  ceran  thor 17:56, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:17, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "Pyroclastic flows crossed 10 kilometres (6.2 mi) of the Bali Sea," - crossed? What do you mean by this?
 * "Crossed" means that they flowed over water to a different island/land surface. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Right, but where to? Any specifics?  ceran  thor 17:56, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Er, the next sentence is "reaching the Gili Islands". Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:17, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "additional secondary pyroclastic flows.[20]" - Adjectives are redundant; remove one (either should be fine)
 * No; "secondary" here means that they aren't simply another pyroclastic flow, but formed through water interaction. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "These pyroclastic flows reached volumes on land of 29 cubic kilometres (7.0 cu mi),[22] " - on land? Can you be more specific about where they were deposited?
 * Clarified, I think. Not 100% sure that they refer to Lombok only. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "The eruption column reached a height of 39–40 kilometres (24–25 mi) during the first stage (P1),[27] and of 43–38 kilometres (27–24 mi) during the third stage (P3),[25] and was high enough that SO2 in it and its S isotope ratio was influenced by photolysis at high altitudes.[28]" - might be better to split into two sentences
 * Here with a semicolon. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "is thus also known as the Samalas Tephra.[29][20]" - refs should be in ascending order for style consistency
 * Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "Pumice falls" - is this meant to be synonymous with pumice deposits?
 * Sorta, not sure if there is a distinction. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "Pumice falls with a fine graining and creamy colour from the Samalas eruption have been used as a tephrochronological marker on Bali;[34] tephrochronology is a technique that uses dated layers of tephra to correlate and synchronize events.[35]" - bit wordy. Do you think you can link tephrochronology and explain it rather than relying on the semicolon here? What's here is fine and works, but I think it could be more concise.
 * Moved to note. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * Link volcanic explosivity index
 * Done, but it was already linked in the lead. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Right, the standard is usually to link it in the lead and then again at first mention within the body text.  ceran  thor 17:56, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "The eruption left the Segara Anak caldera, which has a diameter of 6–7 kilometres (3.7–4.3 mi), where the Samalas mountain was before;[4]" - this is quite wordy
 * Shortened a little. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)

Will finish up with the rest of this once you get to these. Very comprehensive and engaging for such a technical article. Nice work.  ceran  thor 17:07, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Answered points so far. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Planning to respond to some of the above comments, but first I will post the remainder of my comments below.  ceran  thor 22:18, 4 March 2019 (UTC)


 * Research history
 * "Greenland, drilled in 1974[49])[50] " - why one ref within the parens and the other not?
 * Because it refers only to the content of the parens. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Can you move the [50] ref to before the parens then? I don't think this approach clearly shows that.  ceran  thor 17:56, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:17, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "with the global spread indicating a tropical volcano as the cause,[1]" - By this, you mean a volcano in the tropics?
 * Yes. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "the eruption might have been somewhat smaller and enriched in sulfur.[55]" - less or more enriched? Confusing wording here
 * Clarified. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * Samalas and climate
 * "s only exceeded by Laki's signal in the northern;[64] " - might be worth trying to add a very concise description of the Laki eruption(s)
 * Added and rearranged a bit. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * Is there a conversion for 158 ± 12 million tonnes?
 * Not as far as I know. Plus, on the (informal) peer review it was pointed out that there can be too many/unnecessary conversions. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * That's fair.  ceran  thor 17:56, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "The mass release was greater than for the Tambora eruption: " - should be a semicolon rather than a colon here
 * Added. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "Climate modelling indicated that the Samalas eruption may have reduced global temperatures by approximately 2 °C (3.6 °F), a value largely not replicated by proxy data." - might be worth adding a citation directly after this claim
 * Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "Better modelling" - how so?
 * Explained. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "where vegetation killed by the advancing ice was conserved in it.[91] " - could be more concise
 * Rewrote this. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * This bit: "Other inferred effects of the eruption are:" - might be better in some sort of table format. Not a fan of bullets for prose information.
 * IMO, a table isn't really better for this. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * I understand; just a preference I suppose. I would be curious to see if other people feel similarly during an FAC. I guess we'll see ;)  ceran  thor 17:56, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * Social and historical consequences
 * "The Babad Lombok describe how villages on Lombok were destroyed during the middle 13th century by ash and high-speed sweeps of gas and rocks,[47] and together with other texts is also the source of the name "Samalas".[2]" - awkward phrasing; clunky
 * Rewrote this a bit. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "The city of Pamatan, capital of a kingdom on Lombok, was destroyed, with both capital and kingdom disappearing from the historical record. - could be more concise
 * Shortened. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "and while this food crisis was not extraordinary[136] and there had been issues with harvests already before the eruption.[137]" - grammar issues
 * I think I got this? Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * " it is the first well documented food crisis in England.[136] - grammar; no capitalization?
 * Joined to preceding sentence. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)


 * "The Samalas eruption[149] was one of several during this period which may have triggered climate stresses that caused strife within the society of the Ancestral Puebloans," - wordy phrasing
 * Rewritten, but I am not certain what the best wording would be. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)

More ref comments when I can.  ceran  thor 22:18, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Got the last batch. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:16, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Great. Going to read through your responses and reply where I need to, and then I can do some spot checks and make ref comments if necessary.  ceran  thor 15:33, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Replied to a handful. Will try to post ref comments by EOD.  ceran  thor 17:56, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Replied to the replies. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:17, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Sorry for pestering, but is there anything else to comment on? Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 15:53, 9 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Yes, sorry for the delay. I'll get to it by tomorrow.  ceran  thor 23:19, 9 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Happy with the refs/source quality and formatting stuff. External links checker seems fine as well. Can do spotchecks at FAC, assuming that's where you'll be taking this next.  ceran  thor 00:17, 11 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Yeah, that is the idea. In fact, I'll do so now. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 07:20, 11 March 2019 (UTC)