Wikipedia:Peer review/1995 University of Maryland conference on crime and genetics/archive1

1995 University of Maryland conference on crime and genetics
I've listed this article for peer review because I think it's decent now but not good enough to pass GA, and I want feedback that I can use to build it up to where it could pass a GA nomination.

Thanks, IntoThinAir (formerly Everymorning) talk  03:50, 23 August 2018 (UTC)

I peer-reviewed and edited this article. The content was well-presented and seemingly well-supported with both information and sources. The phrasing was in need of conciseness, though, particularly needing removal of inefficient phrasing that states the obvious e.g. As a result of this revised scope vs After the change in scope

obvious or redundant extensions to the point of the sentences. e.g. After the conference ended, a report based on the talks (removed: that were) given

Best regards! Also sorry if I put this review in the wrong place! TheTiksiBranch (talk) 02:58, 18 September 2018 (UTC)