Wikipedia:Peer review/2009 European Cross Country Championships/archive1

2009 European Cross Country Championships
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because… I believe this is looking to be around Good Article standard. However, there are no similar high-quality articles to compare it to (apart from something like 2007 UEFA Champions League Final). As this is somewhat of a first for athletics articles, I want to make sure that it is done correctly. Specifically:


 * Is the tone and focus understandable and interesting for the non-specialist reader?
 * Are there any obvious omissions in terms of content?
 * Is the order and presentation of the content cohesive and logical in progression?

Also, any feedback on the infobox would be helpful as I've just created it in the middle of expanding this article.

(The number of pictures shown is largely due to the generosity of Erik van Leeuwen!) Thanks, Sillyfolkboy (talk) (edits) Join WikiProject Athletics!  18:29, 19 December 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: Tone and focus are fine; I don't see obvious omissions or problems with logic or cohesiveness. The images are nice indeed. On the down side, the listing of so many medal winners in the lede might be a bit too much. Would it be better to list only the gold medalists and let interested readers look at the main text sections and the tables for more details? Here are several other suggestions for improvement.


 * Number of medallists in lede reduced.


 * Even though this is not yet GA, you might consider adding alt text to the images. Alt text is meant for readers who can't see the images, and it's not the same as captions. WP:ALT has details. Alt text is now a requirement for FA.
 * Alt text added.


 * Irina Sergeyeva is linked to a disambiguation page rather than the intended target.
 * Fixed.


 * The article has an unusual number of red links. This could be reduced by red-linking individuals only once and only if it seems likely that articles will be written about them. I'd also suggest unlinking 2012 European Cross Country Championships since it's bound to stay red for two years. The sea of red is distracting, and I think you could easily reduce it by two-thirds.
 * Removed repeated/unneeded red links


 * I'd also suggest reducing the number of redundant blue links by linking individuals only once. Hayley Yelling, for example, is linked at least five times.
 * Removed repeated/unneeded red links. I've removed links to medallists lower than 8th in the U23 and 5th in juniors as these are unlikely to be notable, or perhaps even "future" notable.


 * Perhaps you could explain in a footnote that the lowest team score is the best. This is the opposite of many sports in which the highest score is best. Perhaps the note could be inserted right after Spain's score in the men's senior team race table. Otherwise, the tables all look good to me.
 * Good point. I've explained the scoring system now. It's still quite new to me to be honest!

Lead
 * Since the lead is to be a summary of the whole article, I'd try to work something in about the "Bidding" and "Course" sections.
 * I've added a little bit more about the course. I think it's fine leaving out the majority of the bidding. In contrast to major Games-type events, the bidding for championships like these is a bit "behind closed doors" and it only really becomes newsworthy once a host has been selected.


 * "holding off Irina Sergeyeva in the home straight" - Wikilink straight?
 * Linked in body


 * "Almost 7000 spectators attended the championships" - Add separator comma; i.e., 7,000?
 * Given that the sources show the course lengths without commas, I thought I'd go with consistency and leave out commas for the other 'thousand' numbers.


 * "he was the first Spanish runner to win in the history of the Championships" - Should "championships" get a big C or a little c? You use both in the article, but probably should choose one or the other. I think little c is better unless Championships is part of a formal name as in 2009 European Cross Country Championships.
 * To think about it, you're absolutely right. Usually I'm a bit willy-nilly with big and small "C"s but it only makes sense if there's a proper noun involved!


 * "The 2012 European Cross Country Championships will also be held in Ireland, with Killarney serving as the host city." - "With" is generally a weak conjunction. Better might be "The 2012 European Cross Country Championships will also be held in Ireland; Killarney will be the host city." Or "The 2012 European Cross Country Championships will also be held in Ireland, in the city of Killarney."
 * I've rephrased it with a semi-colon. I realised that towns can't really be host cities and "host town" sounds plain wrong.

Bidding
 * "The bidding process came to a head in October 2007, and the Irish bid beat off the two other proposals from France and Poland to win the chance to host the Championships." - Delete "off"? Delete "the two other"? In other words, "... the Irish beat proposals from France and Poland...". Also, replace "came to a head" with "ended"?
 * Done, masses of redundancy going on there!


 * "IAAF World Cross Country Championships in 1979 and 2002... ". - Would it be helpful to readers to spell out as well as abbreviate IAAF on first use?
 * I've pipe-linked out the IAAF because there is only one World Cross Country Championships this could be talking about and it's not the skiing one.


 * "but this was the first time that Ireland had ever hosted a major European athletics competition" - Is that really true? Does that include tennis, golf, cricket, and every other sport? I ask because "athletics" in North America refers to a huge variety of sports. If "athletics" only means track-and-field in Europe, that point should be clarified somehow for non-Europeans.
 * This seems to be a common sticking point. I'll explain on your talk page!

Course
 * "The course was designed as a loop, with races taking a number of laps as a way to facilitate the running of different lengths of race." - "With" doesn't make a very good conjunction. Usually sentences that use "with" in this way can be improved by recasting. Suggestion: "The course, designed as a loop, accommodated races of any length." Or "Because the course was a loop, it accommodated races of any length".
 * That was an awkward one. I've rewritten it now.


 * "The four course lengths were: 9997 metres for the senior men's race... " - Generally metric measurements are also given in imperial units. I like to use the convert template for the conversions; e.g., 9997 m.
 * Done

Men's race
 * "injury two weeks prior to the race had affected his preparations and he was pleased to receive the bronze medal" - Is the claim that he was pleased verifiable?
 * From the trailing reference: (Lebid:"because of the injury I am happy with my bronze medal.")

Under-23 and junior races
 * "Moen ended up fourth, but he won a team bronze with Norway with Britain and France winning the gold and silver team medals, respectively." - Suggestion: "Moen ended up fourth, but he won a team bronze with Norway. Britain and France won the gold and silver team medals, respectively."
 * Done!


 * Cheers for all the pointers. Sorry it took so long to get seen to! Sillyfolkboy (talk) (edits) Join WikiProject Athletics!  17:31, 12 February 2010 (UTC)

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 23:44, 31 December 2009 (UTC)