Wikipedia:Peer review/Andranik Ozanian/archive1

Andranik Ozanian
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I want to hear others' opinions about this article, so I can improve it.

Thanks, Yerevanci (talk) 18:23, 20 June 2012 (UTC)

Comments The Rambling Man (talk) 11:59, 3 July 2012 (UTC)
 * See WP:LEAD for recommendations on numbers of paragraphs for this length of article.
 * "In 1912-1913" needs to be an en-dash here per WP:DASH.
 * "Andranik in Paris, 1921." no full stop required in this caption as it's not a complete sentence. Check all other captions.
 * "which was about to wipe off Armenia from the face of the Earth." true as it may be, this is a somewhat emotive way of putting it. Try to keep the tone neutral.
 * "Andranik combated in " -> "Andranik fought in "
 * "and died 5 years " 5->five.
 * Avoid squashing text between images/infobox etc.
 * Some of the early parts of Early life appear unreferenced.
 * "which he later leaves" -> "which he would later leave"
 * "first name - even " en-dash, not hyphen.
 * "gave a signal to the hidden fedayees......" then what?
 * Don't overlink articles, e.g. you link Macedonian-Adrianopolitan militia twice in quick succession.
 * Early parts of Life in exile appear unreferenced.
 * Also, consider merging the first couple of short paras.
 * "The New York Times reported," -> "The New York Times reported,"
 * Legacy in Armenia section is unreferenced.
 * The list of quotes is, well, mildly interesting but the article would be better served by integrating some of these quotes into the main article to provide a good context.
 * "Avetis Aharonyan, [48]" (and all the others), no comma needed, not space between the name and the ref.
 * Online sources should have publishers, authors (where possible), dates of publication (where possible) and access dates.