Wikipedia:Peer review/Annerys Vargas/archive1

Annerys Vargas
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I have done intensive review/add to the article, but need outside ideas to promote it to FA

Thanks, Oscar987 00:51, 18 September 2010 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments: I don't think that this article is ready for a peer review which, as the WP:PR page makes clear, is "intended for high-quality articles that have already undergone extensive work." This article has a self-awarded B rating which is unwarranted; nothing above Start-class is justified. I appreciate that a lot of work has gone into collecting information, but the article is still in its early stages of development. Here are a few suggested areas thay should be worked on:-
 * The lead should be a summary of the whole article, rather than a brief introduction to the subject. Consult WP:LEAD for further guidance.
 * The article needs to have a proper structure, rather than one single prose section. I suggest you look at other sports person articles, particulary those that have achieved Good Article of Featured Article status. Take eamples from WP:GA or WP:FA.
 * The article has absolutely no personal information about Vargas beyond her birthplace and country of birth. At present it is no more than a listing of results and awards. You may need to find additional sources.
 * At present the writing is exclusively in very short paragraphs, and ofetn with incomplete sentences. For example "Won the 2008 CEV Challenge Cup with Vakifbank Gunes Sigorta Stambuł and was awarded "Best Blocker". The prose needs to develop a  flow, and have some element of narrative. Again, look at other articles, and see what they do.

Until there is some progress along the above lines, the "B" rating is inappropriate, and I am changing it to "Start", as this is the level the article is presently at. There is no reason, however, why it should not be improved. Brianboulton (talk) 22:14, 24 September 2010 (UTC)