Wikipedia:Peer review/Armageddon (2006)/archive1

===Armageddon (2006)===


 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review to get as much feedback as possible to get the article to an FAC.

Thanks,  iMa tth ew (talk) 19:03, 16 September 2008 (UTC) :Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Peer review/Armageddon (2006)/archive1.

SRX's comments
Further comments
 * Still needs a reception prose in the need, and needs another feud outlined for more general view of event.
 * Preliminary matches
 * The only way to win an Inferno match is by throwing one's opponent into a fire that surrounds the ring on all four sides.  - needs to be in past tense
 * At the start of the match, MVP looked for a quick getaway, which the flames surrounding the ring prevented. - very wordy, "MVP attempted to leave the ring, which etc.."
 * Kane kicked MVP in the head and threw him into the ring corner, causing MVP to try and escape again. MVP, unable to escape past the fire, returned to the ring and was continuously knocked down by Kane. - dont understand how MVP throwing Kane caused him to try to leave, or the way it is worded is confusing. Also, how could he "returned to the ring" if he never left?
 * Back and forth action took place, as well as attempts at throwing each other into the flames. - per the PR and FAC of SummerSlam, Back and forth action should be avoided and reworded.
 * The finish of the match saw Kane grab MVP and force him backwards into the fire. MVP's costume caught on fire as he ran to the entrance ramp. MVP fell to the floor as WWE workers put out the flames with fire extinguishers. - this part should explain somehow that the finish was scripted as you know that they wouldn't really have him burned, also I saw this match, how come you don't explain how they ended up outside, where Kane burned MVP.
 * The following match was between Paul London and Brian Kendrick, the Blue Bloods (William Regal, otherwise known as Darren Matthews, and Dave Taylor]], MNM (Joey Mercury, otherwise known asAdam Birch, and Johnny Nitro, otherwise known as John Hennigan), and The Hardys (Matt and Jeff) in a ladder match for the WWE Tag Team Championship.
 * What kind of ladder match was this? Six person, six team? etc.
 * It is better to use brackets versus adding text in the parenthesis, makes it look messier.
 * Typo in the wikilinking of Dave Taylor
 * Space between "as" and "Adam", but either way should be in brackets.
 * The third match was a standard wrestling match between The Boogeyman (Marty Wright) and The Miz (Mike Mizanin). The Boogeyman controlled the majority of the match and eventually won by pinfall.[13][16]
 * 1) Why is this a separate paragraph?
 * 2)Should be expanded more, the way is written tells me nothing.
 * The next match was between Chris Benoit and Chavo Guerrero (Salvador Chavito Guerrero III) (accompanied by Vickie Guerrero) for the United States Championship.
 * "was between" is getting repeatitive.
 * accompanied should pipelink to "valet (professional wrestling)" if not already linked above.
 * Before the bell rang to start the match, Chavo attacked Benoit, but as the match began, Benoit retaliated by rushing and hitting Guerrero with his forearm, a move called the clothesline.  - What I don't like about this article is that you don't explain the scripted parts, like it sounds as if Chavo legitimately attacked Benoit.
 * Before the bell rang to start the match, Chavo attacked Benoit, but as the match began, Benoit retaliated by rushing and hitting Guerrero with his forearm, a move called the clothesline. At the end of the match, Benoit covered Chavo to try to pin him, but Chavo managed to get his foot on top of the bottom rope, which forces the wrestler attempting the pin, to break the move. - there is no transition, how does it go from "Before the star of the match" to "At the end of the match?" Also, a pin is not a move.
 * Benoit then held Benoit's face back and pushed his leg down, stretching his body, and pinned Chavo to retain the championship and win the match. - this explanation is confusing.
 * The fifth match was the encounter of Gregory Helms versus Jimmy Wang Yang (James Yun) for the Cruiserweight Championship. - makes no sense "encounter of blah versus blah" should be "encounter of blah and blah" states the same thing. Why does the CW title not have the WWE acronym in front of it?

Main event matches
 * Towards the beginning of the match, Taker tossed Kennedy into the steel steps and then onto an announce table.  - I think During the beginning of the match would be better worded here, as you would use the word towards to describe something in the end or in the middle. Also, what are steel steps? Who's announce table? The commentators?
 * Undertaker then threw Kennedy into the ring apron. - what is the ring apron?
 * A back-and-forth match took place until Undertaker tossed Kennedy on top of the roof of the hearse. - avoid using "back-and-forth" instead reword it as "Kennedy and The Undertaker wrestled inconclusively until (whoever got the advantage)"
 * During this time, The Undertaker was referred to as The Undertaker, so it should be like that throughout not just Undertaker.
 * There is also overlinking in the article, I think you know how to fix that.
 * Undertaker then grabbed and lifted Kennedy by the throat and slammed him to match, thus performing a chokeslam on him onto the roof of the car. - I also believe you know how to word this better.
 * Undertaker then grabbed Kennedy, turned him upside-down and dropped into a kneeling position, driving Kennedy's head into the mat. - I know you can word this better as welll.
 * Undertaker through Kennedy into the hearse and drove it out of the arena to win the match.[13][19] - wrong word, you mean threw not through.
 * In the ring, Jillian Hall, Layla El, Ashley Massaro, and Kristal Marshall all took part in a "Naughty or Nice" contest, a lingerie contest, where the Diva with the loudest fan reaction would win. - redundant saying "In the ring." How about, "After the Last Ride match, ...etc."
 * (portrayed by Big Dick Johnson, otherwise Christopher DeJoseph) - just use brackets, it messes up the flow like this.
 * The main event was the tag team match between the team of John Cena and Batista versus the team of King Booker and Finlay. - to much repetition of "team"
 * Batista wrestled the match with his left arm taped up. Back and forth action took place at the start of the match, until Cena grabbed Finlay's face and bent it back, stretching Finlay's body, a submission move that Cena dubbed the STFU. - why was Batista's arm "taped up?" Avoid "back and forth," and you don't have to explain submission moves.
 * Finlay broke the submission hold, and The Little Bastard (Dylan Postl) ran into the ring. - I don't think he was ever referred to as The Little Bastard.
 * Little Bastard attempted to kick Cena, but accidentally kicked himself in his head when Cena moved out of the way.  - I don't see how he could have kicked himself?
 * Little Bastard attempted to kick Cena, but accidentally kicked himself in his head when Cena moved out of the way. Booker tried to hit Batista with a kick to the face, but Batista moved out of the way, and Booker accidentally hit Finlay. - needs transitions

'Aftermath
 * I think you know what to do, cut down on the explanations and make it more like SummerSlam (2003)'s and The Great American Bash (2005)'s.

Results -- S R X  18:01, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * You can link in the table.

Gavyn Sykes' comments
Lead/Background
 * Booker Huffman is piped to Robert Huffman in the BG but just linked as Booker Huffman in the lead. Needs consistency.
 * "neither team winning the match" just links to professional wrestling. Probably a caps error after a #.

Event
 * I think "In an unteleivised match, known as a dark match" would flow better.
 * The "Ladder" in "Ladder match" should not be capitalized.
 * It makes no mention of Mercury's legit injury. Really needs to be noted.
 * Chavo is "Salvador Chavito Guerrero III" per the source in his article not the IV.
 * Explain what a manager is.
 * Explain Sharpshooter
 * Why was Helms bleeding. Was it a botched move on Yang's part? Bladejob?
 * Explain Tombstone piledriver, fix link so it doesn't just go to the top of the piledriver article.
 * Big Dick Johnson's real name is Christopher DeJoseph.
 * All moves mentioned in the main event require explanation, IMO.

Reception
 * Which tag team match?

That's all I found that SRX didn't cover. Gavyn Sykes (talk) 22:33, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * All done.  iMa tth ew (talk) 16:04, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

Giggy
More non-lead comments later, hopefully. Giggy (talk) 04:49, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * All images check out fine.
 * Ref 33 lacks publisher.
 * What makes these sites reliable:
 * http://prowrestlinghistory.com/supercards/usa/wwf/armageddon.html#2006
 * http://www.24wrestling.com/index.php?id=news/7041
 * http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.com/results/wweppv/royalrumble07.html
 * "The main event was a tag team match, in which Batista and John Cena defeated the team of King Booker and Finlay." - remove the comma.... I was thinking about rewording the second part but dunno if it'd sound better (up to you if you want to play around with it).
 * "in a match where the objective is to place an opponent in a hearse located on the entrance stage and drive them out of the arena" - just name it and wlink it (and provide more info later)
 * "Two featured bouts were scheduled on the undercard" - what's an undercard?
 * Refs have been fixes/replaced/removed.  iMa tth ew (talk) 16:15, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

Wrestlinglover
I feel like being helpful so I've decided to review the article to help you out.
 * The first problem I found is in the lead. Now to most people there is nothing wrong with it but it just doesn't roll off the tongue to me. "The main event was a tag team match, in which Batista and John Cena defeated the team of King Booker and Finlay." I believe it should be changed to "The main event pitted the team of Batista and John Cena against the team of King Booker and Finlay, in which Batista and Cena prevailed." It might just be me but I prefer the second over the first.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I think it's fine the way it is.  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Another problem in the lead is you forgot to mention if it is an annual event or not. Like this was the seventh Armageddon event and fourth annual.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * It's in the background section.  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * SRX told me in Lockdown's peer review that it is alright to be in universe in the lead. So I guess it is alright to just say Last Ride match. Then explain it in the background or event.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * He was most likely referring to the names and parenthesize.  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * No he was referring to matches. He wanted me to change Lethal Lockdown by to in universe because of it, as well as Xscape match.-- Will C  00:20, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "Kane defeated Montel Vontavious Porter" - "Kane defeated Montel Vontavious Porter in this match" You also have a redirect in MVP's link.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I don't believe that should be changed, we know it's a match.  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I still think in this match is needed. I'm going back stuff I've been told as well.-- Will C  00:20, 28 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Background
 * I've been told that all editions should be episode. Do as you wish there.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "WWE Champion John Cena, a member of the Raw brand." You haven't explained what a brand is. Why not just say "a member of WWE's primary television program Raw"-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * It's not necessary. I'd say brand is a common word.  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Do you really need to say the year after the date? Like September 8, 2006. I think September 8 will do just fine. It isn't like they are going to think 2007 when it says 2006, or if possible 2005.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * It's necessary because dates in 2007 come up in the article.  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I feel people wouldn't be thinking about September 2007 when the article is in 2006. People know when January is and when December is. I still do not believe the dates are needed.
 * "During the match, MVP was scripted to attempt and escape from the ring," You make it sound like a Cage match. Maybe you can clean it up a little better. By saying he was scripted to try and leave the match because he did not want to fight anymore.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * It seems fine as is, if it was a cage it would say "escape from the cage"  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm just saying it sounds awkward to me.-- Will C  00:20, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "the hearse, appearing to have nobody in the driver's seat, drove into the arena;" the hearse. To me you are making it sound like people know what the hearse is and that it is magical. Just change "the" to "a".-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * It is "the" hearse, not "a" hearse.  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Well the hearse is not mentioned before then. A hearse would sound better in my mind.-- Will C  00:20, 28 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Event
 * Dave Taylor is missing two brackets.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * A space is needed between "Adam Birch" and "as"-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I feel you should go more in-depth in the ladder match. I've watched that match multiple times. The Mercury accident needs to be explained more since that was a legit accident and started a long feud between the two teams. The Hardys having a history in ladder matches and the match was originally supposed to be Londrick vs Regal and Taylor. To me you are leaving out important information. Also the ladder match was the most watched match on 24/7 by WWE.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * It was originally told to cut it down because it was too small.  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * event though I would place that Teddy changed it right before the match since that is very important to the match.-- Will C  00:20, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "Benoit then held Benoit's face back and pushed his leg down, stretching his body," I think you mean Benoit held Chavo's face back. Anyway I think you should just say Sharpshooter and explain the move in another sentence.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "Undertaker then grabbed and lifted Kennedy by the throat and slammed him to match," don't you mean mat, not match.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Jillian Hall's real name is Jillian Fletcher.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "with a kick to the face," maybe a standing kick to the face or a high angle kick to the face would be better. A kick to the face wouldn't need a link but a standing kick would in the wrestling world since kicks are usual practice in combat sports.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Aftermath
 * "twenty nine superstars are eliminated by" maybe wrestlers or competitors instead of superstars. Too jargon to me.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * The WrestleMania streak needs to be explained in my mind.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nothing to do with the article, really.  iMa tth ew (talk) 22:35, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm just saying because the streak is unknown to a non wrestling fan. maybe just change it that The Undertaker again was not defeated at WrestleMania in better words of coarse. But saying his streak was not broken. I feel that would be known to a wrestling fan but not to a unkown and the person wouldn't know where to look to find out about it.-- Will C  00:20, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "set the time to beat "Beat the Clock" sprint" - "set the time to beat in the "Beat the Clock" sprint"-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Reception
 * Billboard has the wrong link. It should be linked to Billboard (magazine).-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)

Well there are my comments. I hope they helped. I'm off to review Bad Blood 04 and 03.-- Will C  05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)