Wikipedia:Peer review/Arular/archive1

Arular

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to know what I still need to do to get it to FA standard.

Thanks, ChrisTheDude (talk) 21:12, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This generally reads well, seems comprehensive, and is adequately illustrated, stable, neutral, and well-supported. A few of the sentences have too many clauses strung together and would be more clear if divided. I've listed four of these below with suggestions for possible re-casting.

Composition and recording
 * "She initially planned only to work as a producer, and to this end approached Caribbean girls in clubs, enquiring if they would provide vocals for the songs, but without success." - Suggestion: "She initially planned to work only as a producer. To this end, she approached Caribbean girls in clubs and enquired, without success, if they would provide vocals for the songs."

Music and lyrics
 * "In a 2004 interview with the magazine Nirali, prior to the album's release, M.I.A. stated that audiences found it hard to dance to political songs, making her keen to produce music which sounded like pop music, addressing important issues while making it 'sound like nothing'." - Suggestion: "Prior to the album's release, in a 2004 interview with the magazine Nirali, M.I.A. stated that audiences found it hard to dance to political songs. This made her keen to produce music that sounded like pop music and addressed important issues while making it 'sound like nothing'."

Promotion and accolades
 * "The first track from the album to be made available was "Galang", which was initially released in late 2003, prior to M.I.A. signing with XL Recordings, by independent label Showbiz Records, which pressed and distributed 500 promotional copies." - Suggestion: "The first track from the album to be made available was "Galang". It was initially released in late 2003 by independent label Showbiz Records, which pressed and distributed 500 promotional copies. This was before M.I.A. signed with XL Recordings."

Critical reception
 * "Paste stated that the album, although strong, was not as 'mindblowing' as many critics were making out, and Q characterised the album as 'style mag-cool pop-rap' and stated that it lacked the substance suggested by M.I.A.'s decision to name it after her father." - Suggestion: Full stop after "making out". Start the next sentence with "Q characterised".

Images
 * These look fine, and the licenses look OK to me. The third one, Image:MIASonar1.jpg would be better on the left so that M.I.A. looks into the page instead of away.

I hope these brief comments prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 05:51, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * All done, many thanks for your comments -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 07:58, 18 February 2009 (UTC)