Wikipedia:Peer review/Auctionair/archive1

Auctionair
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because this is my first article and I want to get it right!

Thanks, Ship69 (talk) 11:42, 29 January 2010 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: this is a good start, especially for a first article, but it needs some more work to conform to the Manual of Style and guidlelines here. So with improvement in mind, here are some suggestions. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 22:08, 6 February 2010 (UTC)
 * The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. So the whole notion of sealed-bid auctions is only explicitly in the lead and should be in the article too.
 * My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way - but as two examples, history and sale of unclaimed winning bids are not in the lead. Please see WP:LEAD
 * Biggest problem as I see it with the article right now is a lack of inline references (there are only two now). My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
 * Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase so fix In 2006 the company launched The Times Online Auction Room[2] as a co-branded partnership with The Times
 * Most of the External links should be converted into inline references. At least one (Good Web Guide) is a dupicate of current ref 2, so should just be removed.
 * External links are typically for things that are useful for understanding the subject of the article but are not used as references. The official website should be listed here, but I am not sure any of the others should be. See WP:EL
 * External links is not for links to Wikipedia articles (those are internal links). These can be placed in a See also section, but that is usually for articles not already linked in the article (which Spafax already is). See WP:See also
 * Please add more wikilinks to the article - The Times and many of the businesses mentioned could be linked, for example. Please see WP:Build the web
 * There is a one sentence section and some short (one or two sentence) paragraphs - these break up the flow of the article and should be merged with others or perhaps expanded
 * Any chance for a free image of the headquarters building or one of the key personnel? Business articles can use the company's logo as a WP:FAIR USE image
 * A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - see the article on BAE Systems for a British business example that is a Featured Article and may be a good model