Wikipedia:Peer review/B. V. Sreekantan/archive1

B. V. Sreekantan
This peer review discussion has been closed. I propose this article for peer review as I feel the article has potential to be a good article or better.

Thanks, --jojo@nthony (talk) 07:40, 14 July 2015 (UTC)

Comments from RO

 * Lead
 * is an Indian high energy astrophysicist
 * Shouldn't high-energy be hyphenated?
 * Done--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * The Government of India awarded him the third highest Indian civilian honour of Padma Bhushan in 1988.[5]
 * You can remove "Indian" as it's quite clear what's meant.
 * Done--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * Early years
 * Scan for missing commas; I'm seeing some run-ons.
 * to develop the reading habit
 * This should read, "to develop a reading habit".
 * Done--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * He did his schooling at the local high school in Nanjangud 
 * This needs work. How about, "he attended ..."?
 * Rephrased--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * specializing in Wireless
 * This needs some clarification, or at least a Wikilink.
 * Wikilinked--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * Career and legacy
 * More issues with missing and/or misplaced commas.
 * has a research station at Ooty which is equipped with and Extensive Air Shower array
 * The nonrestrictive clause that follows "Ooty" should be set off with a comma.
 * Done--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * This research, later, developed into the Proton Decay experiments of the 1980s. 
 * Remove "later" as superfluous.
 * Removed--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * "His experiments served as the base of his doctoral thesis on the intensity and angular distribution of muons at different depths"
 * Why is this in italics? Is it the title of his dissertation? If so it ought to be in title case.
 * Title cased--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * who helped him to develop Geiger Muller counters
 * Drop the split infinitive: "helped him develop".
 * Done--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * He was also a member of the team experimented on the Grand Unification Theory to detect the decay of protons in deep environment in the 1970s
 * "a member of the team that experimented"
 * Done--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * It was under the his directorship
 * Corrected--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
 * The article would benefit from a general proofreading for these types of issues.


 * superannuation
 * Wikilink or explain for the casual reader.
 * Wikilinked--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * The citations in the last paragraph of this section are a bit distracting. You are not required to bundle them, but it might be a good idea here.
 * Positions
 * He was a member of the governing council of the institute from 1988 till 2007 of which 15 years from 1992
 * It's not clear to whom this pronoun refers.
 * Rephrased--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * It was during this period, the institute set up the Himalayan Chandra Telescope
 * How about, "During this period, the institute set up the Himalayan Chandra Telescope"?
 * Rephrased--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * The last paragraph of this section reads as a list. See if you can add some prose to transition through it, so it's not just a listing of his past positions.
 * Selected bibliography
 * I think this would be better at the end of the article.
 * Done--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * Awards and honours
 * This is also a little bit like a list. See if you can add some details to make it more prose-like.
 * Copy edited--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)


 * Personal life
 * If this is all you know about his personal life, see if you can incorporate this into the biography, since a two sentence section is discouraged.
 * Transferred to Biography section--jojo@nthony (talk) 16:39, 16 August 2015 (UTC)

It's a nice little article. The biggest issue with the prose is that parts are too much like a list versus prose. I also see lots of missing commas that will need to be added prior to promotion to GA. Nice job overall; keep up the great work! RO (talk) 20:03, 13 August 2015 (UTC) Regarding this passage: "He secured his graduate degree in physics, with honours, in 1946 and completed his master's degree the following year, specializing in Wireless communication, from Mysore University.[7]"
 * Conclusion
 * Further comments

I find it confusing that he secured a graduate degree in 1946, but completed his master's the following year. Did he earn two graduate degrees during these years, because a master's is a graduate degree? RO (talk) 17:33, 16 August 2015 (UTC)
 * His graduate degree was an honours degree and, as far my knowledge goes, many Indian universities allow honours graduates to appear for master's degree examination after one year of study.--jojo@nthony (talk) 17:51, 16 August 2015 (UTC)