Wikipedia:Peer review/Battle of Buna–Gona/archive1

Battle of Buna–Gona


This peer review discussion has been closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because I put a lot of effort into improving it over a year ago and it's still rated C-class. I think it merits a better rating but would appreciate some fresh eyes and perspective about remaining improvements that can be made.

Thanks, — btphelps (talk) (contribs) 17:59, 10 January 2013 (UTC)

Comments: G'day, good work so far. I have the following suggestions/comments:


 * I think the main thing at the moment that is keeping it from a higher rating is the referencing. There appear to be a few areas that need referencing, for instance (If the citations could be added, I believe it would rate B class):
 * "It rained up to 10 inches (250 mm) daily."
 * "Some blockhouses were covered in earth that protected them from artillery fire and concealed with fast-growing jungle vegetation. Blockhouses covered in earth concealed four or five machine gun emplacements and could hold 20–30 soldiers."
 * "Other intelligence he received him to believe that Buna was held by about 1000 sick and malnourished soldiers. Unfamiliar with the state of Japanese defences, Lt. Gen.Richard K. Sutherland, MacArthur’s chief of staff, glibly referred to these fortifications as "hasty field entrenchments.""
 * "from the 5th Yokosuka and 5th Sasebo Special Naval Landing Forces"
 * "Buna was Supreme Commander Douglas MacArthur's first ground offensive campaign against Japanese troops in World War II."
 * "The 32nd was not trained, equipped or prepared to fight in the jungle nor taught Japanese tactics."
 * "They did not encounter a single enemy soldier, but more than ⅔ of their men became casualties, sick with malaria, dengue fever, bush typhus, amoebic dysentery, bacillary, along with jungle rot, dobie itch, trench foot, athlete's foot and ringworm."
 * "Major General Edwin F. Harding and his artillery commander—Brig. Gen. Samuel Waldron—finally persuaded MacArthur's headquarters to break down one 105 mm howitzer and fly it to Pongani, where it was moved closer to Buna for fire support. They also borrowed eight 25-pounder guns from the Australians."
 * "Col. Leif Sverdrup set out from Abau on foot with 190 men, including Flight Lieutenant M. J. Leahy, an expert on Papua, who knew many of the tribal chiefs personally. They reached Fasari on 18 October and hired local villages to clear the site by burning the bush and clearing a few stumps."
 * "Situated in the coastal area south of Cape Endaiadere, on a line running inland to Sinemi Creek, this became known as the Warren Force."
 * "This group, named the Urbana Force, were charged with defending Soputa and with the subsequent attack on Sanananda."
 * "Fighting was bitter from the outset: the Australian 7th Division took 204 casualties in the first three days of its thrust."
 * "On 20 November, MacArthur—operating from his comfortable headquarters in Port Moresby—ordered Harding to attack "regardless of losses". The following day, he sent another missive to Harding, telling him to "take Buna today at all costs". General Edmund Herring arrived at the American front on 25 November and reported that the American infantry had "maintained a masterly inactivity at Buna"."
 * "Despite the lack of progress made by U.S. and Australian forces, naval support remained unavailable."
 * "The attack made some progress but was finally halted by the Japanese."
 * "On 29 November, the Japanese were reinforced by the remaining 500 troops from the South Seas Detachment (mostly the 41st Infantry Regiment under Colonel Kiyomi Yazawa), which had led the Kokoda Track campaign and retreated to the sea at a point north of Gona. They were shuttled by boat to the Sananada stronghold."
 * "These and other reports did not mollify Eichelberger's view of the situation. Eichelberger arrived in Buna to inspect the troops on 2 December."
 * "Martin and Rogers returned from the Warren front to the 32nd Division headquarters at Dobodura at 22:00 to find that Eichelberger had already relieved Harding of command. Eichelberger replaced him with the division's artillery commander, General Waldron. Eichelberger also sacked the regimental commanders and most battalion commanders, ordered improved food and medical supplies, and halted operations on the Buna front for two days, to allow units to reorganise."
 * "On the same day, 500 Japanese reinforcements, in the form of the inexperienced 21st Independent Mixed Brigade (based on the 170th Infantry Regiment), arrived at Gona under Maj. Gen. Kurihanao Yamagata. The Japanese fought tenaciously and the 32nd Division lost 392 personnel within the first two weeks."
 * "Sergeant Bottcher and his troops fought off attacks for seven days, taking over enemy machine guns for their own use. Bottcher was wounded twice before he was relieved. His unit had killed 120 Japanese, and his successful defence of the beach enabled the rest of the division to advance to the beach."
 * "The tide of the battle of Buna had finally turned and Bottcher was awarded the battlefield commission of captain and his first of two Distinguished Service Cross Medals. A plaque was later placed at the entrance to Buna Village in memory of his actions that day."
 * "Although they were successful in establishing the roadblock, the Japanese maintained their position, receiving resupply through the swamp."
 * " By now, illness and low morale was taking its toll and the 126th were retired on 22 December"
 * "The commanding officer of Company C was killed. Eichelberger later wrote that "the fighting was desperate and the outcome of the whole miserable, tortured campaign was in doubt"."
 * "Privately, MacArthur constantly pressured Eichelberger to act quickly and obtain results. Eichelberger recorded multiple instances when MacArthur urged him to hasten his efforts to rapidly defeat the Japanese. Having never visited the front, MacArthur sent his Chief of Staff—Richard K. Sutherland—with a letter for Eichelberger which Sutherland delivered on Christmas Day."
 * "Of the 635 American troops who engaged the Japanese, only 244 effective troops remained by the end of December."
 * "On 14 January, the Allies discovered that most of the Japanese defenders had left and quickly overran the junction stronghold now held by only 158 Japanese."
 * "Two NCOs from the 32nd Division—both of them killed in action near Buna (1st Sgt Elmer J. Burr and Sgt Kenneth E. Gruennert)—were later awarded the Medal of Honor. Herman Bottcher was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross twice. Allied operations against Japanese forces in New Guinea, including Operation Cartwheel and the Salamaua-Lae campaign, continued through 1945."
 * I also have a few other comments/observations that are more geared towards GA:
 * At seven paragraphs, the lead is too long. Four paragraphs is the maximum apparently according to WP:LEAD. I suggest trying to consolidate a couple of the paragraphs in the lead;
 * The Citations and References sections seem a little repetitious. There also appear to be a mixture of a few styles in the Citations section.
 * Be careful of overlinking. The duplicate link checker tool identified quite a few (some examples listed): Guadalcanal Campaign; Kokoda Track campaign; Port Moresby; Chester Nimitz; Special Naval Landing Forces; Douglas MacArthur;
 * is the See also link relevant? If so, it should probably be worked into the article with some explanation/context, otherwise I'd suggest just removing it. AustralianRupert (talk) 08:51, 11 January 2013 (UTC)

Comments


 * Just some copyediting notes from me, although reviewers won't care about much of this until you get to A-class:
 * "The Battle of Buna – Gona was a battle", "New Guinea campaign, a major part of the Pacific campaign": try to avoid "the battle ... was a battle" and "campaign ... campaign". See WP:Checklist.
 * "Both forces": You've mentioned three forces at this point ... which two? Both force
 * "The Japanese were under pressure to hold Guadalcanal, which had forced them to withdraw their forces when they were within sight of Port Moresby.": See WP:Checklist. Instead of saying the pressure forced them, just say that they withdrew the forces for use at Guadalcanal.
 * "the Japanese had built on the north coast hundreds ...": That's more of a German construction than good English. One fix is to move "on the north coast" to the end of the sentence.
 * "Because of poor intelligence, Allied Supreme Commander MacArthur and his staff vastly underestimated the number of defenders": See WP:Checklist. I'd go with: "Allied Supreme Commander MacArthur and his staff received poor intelligence reports and vastly underestimated the number of defenders"
 * "beginning on 16 November": you don't need to give the date again. - Dank (push to talk) 16:22, 11 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Updates


 * Many of the items you cite as needing citations are referenced in adjacent references. I will see which statements are egregiously missing references and update them as necessary. — btphelps (talk) (contribs) 10:04, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
 * G'day, can you please clarify what you mean by adjacent references? If you mean the references that come before the sentences I listed, then in my experience that won't be understood as applying to a sentence that comes after it. In that case, I would suggest just simply moving it to the end of the paragraph, or using a duplicate reference. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 10:24, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Sorry, I meant the references in the following sentence or 1 or 2 sentences afterward. — btphelps (talk) (contribs) 05:04, 11 February 2013 (UTC)