Wikipedia:Peer review/Becky/archive1

Becky
This page represents a lot of the articles that I've been making related to owarai in the last few months, and in order to create some sort of bar that I could rate the quality of the rest of the articles that I am creating against, I put this one up for review. Becky is a half British/Japanese entertainer in Japan, which makes for an interesting Wikipedia article. I tried to avoid writing a "profile", or advertising her as an "idol" (she's more like a comedian than anything). It's a pretty short article, any longer and it would probably be filled with paparazzi stuff, and I obviously don't want to pry into anyones private life. Anybody see any way that I can improve this article? freshofftheufo ΓΛĿЌ  08:38, 25 May 2006 (UTC)

These are shot-in-the-dark suggestions: RN 09:03, 25 May 2006 (UTC)
 * 1) Maybe a disambig at big at the top of the article due to the common name?
 * 2) "She held a dual (British and Japanese) passport until she turned 20, at which time she resolved to hold a single Japanese passport, as is required by Japanese law" - I'm not sure why this is needed, it might look like fancruft to some - maybe merge it with the other sentence....
 * 3) When you cite her real name, be sure to provide an inline cite for it
 * 4) Maybe "debut" should be "debuted"
 * 5) "Now showing" seems kind of off for an encyclopedia article
 * 6) In general needs references - maybe a tad bit of expansion too if possible
 * 7) People at FAC often frown on list-y sections, a.k.a. Now Showing and Discography (you can look to Maria Carey or Celine Dion for guidence here and elsewhere) - I think you might be able to turn Now Showing into prose with some work...
 * 8) "One of many Becky fan sites" probably should be more descriptive - I'd just use the url if nothing else suffices :).
 * Thanks for the comments! I've referenced her real name, but since I got most of the other information off of Japanese wiki and her official profile, I'm not sure if I should include any more reference points. I wish I could expand her appearances into some sort of prose, but I honestly don't know anything other than whats on those lists. I'm not really going for FA anyways : P. Can you think of anything other than Now showing? I've used that phrase more than once for performers on TV.
 * About the reference to her passport, it links to a bigger issue, so I thought it was important. Japan has a strange law that doesn't allow dual citizenship (unlike almost any other developed country) and a lot of children of mixed parentage have to make very difficult decisions when they get older as to where they want to live for the rest of their life. freshofftheufo  ΓΛĿЌ  09:35, 25 May 2006 (UTC)


 * Per WP:CONTEXT and WP:MOSDATE, years, decades, and centuries without full dates generally should not be linked. For example, January 2006  should not be linked, instead change it to January 2006. Also, please note WP:BTW and WP:CONTEXT, which state that years with full dates should be linked. For example, February 28, 2006,  should be come February 28, 2006. 


 * Please reorder/rename the last few sections to follow guidelines at WP:GTL.


 * Images with fair use tags need fair use rationales - please see WP:FUC.


 * This article is a bit list-weighty; in other words, some of the lists should be converted to prose (paragraph form).


 * This article is a bit too short, and therefore may not be as comprehensive as WP:WIAFA critera 2(b) is looking for. Please see if anything can be expanded upon.


 * All quotations should have WP:FOOTNOTEs or other forms of inline citations.


 * The lead is for summarizing the rest of the article, and should not introduce new topics not discussed in the rest of the article, as per WP:LEAD. Please ensure that the lead adequately summarizes the article. - specifically the reference to the passport- please move it to another section.


 * There may be an applicable infobox for this article.
 * Thanks, AndyZ t 20:16, 25 May 2006 (UTC)