Wikipedia:Peer review/Beyoncé Knowles discography/archive1

Beyoncé Knowles discography
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because it failed at it got very negative comments FLC. I really do not understand what is wrong with it. I would really like someone who will help me write a better lead for the article. With very good prose.

Thanks, Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  18:01, 16 April 2011 (UTC)

First, I would like to establish that my comments were in no way meant to be offensive. I was trying to give constructive criticism. Anyways, the lead right now is look great. One-hundred times better than before. There is more detail, which is great. But I would like to see the overall sales in the last paragraph. I still have some issues with article though that should help you move along perfectly for FLC.
 * No hard feeling against you. It's just that everyone has his own opinion. You told me to expand the lead while another editor told me it is huge. There are too many conflicts in opinions. If i listen to you, the other one will tell me i went against him/her. This is the thing i hate here. And yes, the lead has never been huge. It's just that it was divided in six paragraphs which was the main issue. However, while working on it, i had restricted myself to only three paragraphs. Then i was told to separate it. Listen, i swear i do not have anything against you, my problem is that you all have different ways of thinking. While some want me to do x and y, others want the total opposite. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  11:54, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Lady Gaga's discography cites her sales in the first paragraph. And i think this is probably the best introduction of an artist. Imagine people knowing nothing about Beyonce reading the article for the first time. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  12:21, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Ok. It works too. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 18:18, 17 April 2011 (UTC)

Lead
 * ""Ring the Alarm" became Knowles biggest debut on the US Billboard Hot 100, opening at number twelve in 2006." Seems trivial compared to other things. Remove.
 * You were the one to tell me to have a look at Taylor Swift discography. Her page mentions her biggest debut of her career. So why doesn't it have a place here? Please reply. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  11:54, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Swift's debut was much higher, at number two and that ties for her best charting effort in the US. And Knowles has accomplished more on the Hot 100 than that. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 18:18, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * So can i replace it with ""Beautiful Liar" which jumped 91 positions to land at number three on the Hot 100 chart, setting a record for the largest upward movement in the history of the Hot 100 in early 2007, until it was surpassed by Britney Spears' 2008 single "Womanizer""? Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  13:50, 18 April 2011 (UTC)

More comments to be added soon. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 21:49, 16 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "Video Phone is missing an end-quote. ✅ Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  11:54, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "It was confirmed that Knowles' fourth studio album would be released in June of the same year." Drop the same year. Just say 2011. ✅ Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  11:54, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Overall the charts are still not the same. Pick the ten most important charts and stick to them; don't add more charts throughout.
 * Do you mean i should use the same ten charts everywhere? Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  11:54, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Are you trying to say in every section, whether it is albums, singles, promotional singles? And what if her live albums have not charted on the charts her live albums have charted? Or if they were not release there? Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  11:56, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Yes. Again see the discographies I used for examples. They only have ten selected charts. If in a table, none of the releases charted, then you should drop the chart from that specific table. Just pick the best ten and you should be good. Anyways, any other peaks are left to the releases' actual articles. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 18:18, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * I fixed this yesterday itself. Please have a look. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  13:50, 18 April 2011 (UTC)
 * There is an improvement, but the "Live albums" section and "Remix albums" still add new charts. Also, for the notes in other releases, don't add every song there (add general info that can describe them). For example, in Irreemplazable you can put Spanish versions and remixes of tracks from B'Day. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 01:54, 23 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Do you mean i should remove charts i have not used before? Like Portugal and Italy? Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  11:58, 23 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Yes. -- ipodnano05</b> * <sup style="font-family:tahoma; color:SteelBlue;">leave@message 17:04, 24 April 2011 (UTC)
 * For the notes, hmmmmmm i did not really understand. How can i replace them? Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  12:06, 23 April 2011 (UTC)


 * I am impatiently waiting for more. I am so eager to fix the issues for which so many editors voted oppose. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  11:54, 17 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Please remove music videos field in the infobox if that information is in her videography page. -- <b style="font-family:tahoma; color:LightBlue;">ipodnano05</b> * <sup style="font-family:tahoma; color:SteelBlue;">leave@message 01:58, 23 April 2011 (UTC)
 * ✅ Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  11:58, 23 April 2011 (UTC)

Comments from The Rambling Man - a quick run through the obvious stuff I'd point out at FLC.

 * "two live albums" - infobox says 3.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "As of September 2009," a shame this is 18 months out of date.
 * Yes but can i do? Should I inflate the sales without exasperating or something like that? Please reply. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:12, 19 April 2011 (UTC)


 * " Knowles had also received " odd tense change. do you "has"?  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "debut solo album, Dangerously in Love, which debuted at" repetitive use of debut.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "spawned" never been keen on this, could we use "produced" perhaps?  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "more than eleven million " you've already said "4.7 million" so no reason not to say "11 million" here.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "Destiny's Child disbanded in 2005. Knowles continued " - reference please, and merge these sentences nicely.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "Much of the themes and musical styles" -> "Many of..."  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "became Knowles biggest" -> Knowles'  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "opening at " -> "entering at"  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "As of January 2009, B'Day has sold over 6,000,000 copies worlwide," - 2.4 years out of date, 6,000,000 should be 6 million or six million, and worldwide is the word you're after here.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "including 3.2 million copies sold in the United States alone" - no need for "alone" here.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "According to producer Shea Taylor, the first single will premiere at the end of April 2011.[27]" so in two weeks time the lead, infobox and singles table will need to be updated, ok?
 * Yes. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:12, 19 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Four live albums listed in the table, three mentioned in the infobox, two in the lead...  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * No mention in the lead/infobox of the "remix" album.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Where is the Heat EP referenced? It didn't chart anywhere so how do you prove its existence?
 * Not done yet. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Now ✅ Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  12:16, 23 April 2011 (UTC)

"Can you please tell me where? Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:44, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "Limited edition 15 record box set of 2" remixes" -> 15-record box-set of 12" remixes (I'm guessing a 2" remix should be six times larger?)  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "edition 8 record box set featuring karaoke versions of Beyoncé's" see above for hyphenation advice, and she should be called Knowles not Beyonce here.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Where are "I Got That" and "Amor Gitano" referenced?   Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * "The Blueprint²: The Gift & The Curse" our own article doesn't superscript the 2.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Jay Z is actually Jay-Z.
 * No mention of the charity single in the lead.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * In the "As featured artist" section; under "Hollywood". Some browsers have a search tool. On Firefox push CTRL + F; at the bottom you will see this tool. Regards.-- ♫Greatorangepumpkin♫ T 15:07, 21 April 2011 (UTC)
 * and thank you for being so helpful. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  12:12, 23 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Why is Soundtrack appearances table formatted so years are repeated every line, and movie is repeated every line, while the singles tables are formatted using all manner of row spans? If this is "discog style" then it needs addressing to be consistent within the article.
 * Please have a look. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Use en-dashes in the reference titles per WP:DASH.  Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Don't overcapitalise in the reference titles per WP:MOS.
 * Not done yet. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  16:47, 19 April 2011 (UTC)

The Rambling Man (talk) 18:33, 18 April 2011 (UTC)


 * I am getting to this later today. Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  09:59, 23 April 2011 (UTC)


 * But i did not do that purposely. The websites have the titles like that. Should it nevertheless be changed? Jivesh    &bull;  Talk2Me  12:19, 23 April 2011 (UTC)