Wikipedia:Peer review/Biff Tannen/archive1

Biff Tannen
I would like this article to be a good article, so any advice is appreciated. --TheM62Manchester 15:58, 13 August 2006 (UTC)
 * For one thing, remove the unnecessary red borders. DrWho42 16:29, 13 August 2006 (UTC)


 * Some comments below. Overall the article is in fair shape.
 * Lead-in: what is "the ride"? A Disneyland ride?  Generally I think the lead-in could be shortened -- some of the contents seem more suitable to the body of the article, such as the paragraph about his personal characteristics.  I don't know anything about this movie, and I think by the end of the lead-in I should know more than I do -- e.g. is Biff the hero?  A villain?  A minor character?  I think a brief note on the relevance to Thomas Wilson's career would be good, too; was this a breakthrough role for Wilson?  Or a minor role for a major actor?  Finally, it would be nice to get rid of that "spoiler warning" in the lead, but I'm not sure that that's possible for a fictional character.
 * Pre-Back to the Future: I'd use "grandmother" instead of "grandma" for an encyclopaedia article. It would be good to cite sources for the deductions and so forth about the timeline of events in his life.  You currently have no footnotes; let me know if you need help formatting them -- they can be tricky.  You refer to draft scripts; have these been published?  If so it would be good to cite them, and even list them or point to another article about them.  This applies to the later sections too; I won't repeat it below.  An overall list of sources, in addition to the references, wouldn't hurt, as a separate section later in the article.  Where is Mason Street -- in Hill Valley?  You don't actually say that he still lives there.  I assume this is not a real street.
 * Back to the Future: After reading this, I understand Biff's role among the main characters. I don't need a detailed plot synopsis earlier than this, but as I said above I think by the time I get here I should already know he's the villain (or perhaps could be described as the main oppositional character to the hero and his father).  I also think some explanation of "original timeline" is necessary; I've read enough sf to understand all the implications of this quickly, but a general reader may have read no sf.  You can link to an article with more details about time-travel paradoxes if you think that's appropriate, but at least a sentence of explanation about what's going on here is needed.
 * I have some other comments on wording, but I'll wait till you've responded. Hope this is useful.  Mike Christie 17:55, 13 August 2006 (UTC)


 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ t 23:45, 16 August 2006 (UTC)