Wikipedia:Peer review/Billie Jean/archive2

Billie Jean

 * Previous peer review
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. I'm hoping to take this article to Featured Status and, therefore, welcome a thorough review.  Pyrrhus  16 ''' 14:45, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Instruments should be linked in the Personnel section, which also needs a source (liner notes?). Otherwise, I see no major issues. The prose seems to read well enough, all that can be sourced is source, and the article is quite comprehensive in its coverage. Ten Pound Hammer, his otters and a clue-bat • (Many otters • One bat • One hammer) 02:38, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Done. Thanks. :)  Pyrrhus  16 ''' 12:43, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Media I've added some refinements to the fair use rationales, but otherwise everything else looks good. Awadewit (talk) 05:06, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * File:Mowtown25moonwalk.gif - This is going to have to be OGG format. Do you know how to transcode it? (See here for help. If that is too confusing, let me know and I'll try to do it myself. I'm a newbie to this too, though, so it might take me a few days to get it right.)
 * File:David Cook - Billy Jean.ogg - I'm not sure what the American Idol performance adds. That seems like a very "of the moment" performance, not one that is historically important.
 * Thanks for the review. I've removed the David Cook sample, but have no idea how to create or convert ogg video files.  Pyrrhus  16 ''' 12:43, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm new to this whole video conversion thing, so I might not be able to get it done in time for the FAC. I'll try, though. Leave a message at my talk page, reminding me to do it this weekend. Awadewit (talk) 03:50, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Will do. :)  Pyrrhus  16 ''' 09:56, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Looks pretty good, here are some fairly minor suggestions for improvement.
 * There are a lot of covers and samples discussed in the article so I am not sure why Kanye West's cover is the only one mentioned in the lead - there is only one other mention of it in the text itself. Based on the amount written in the article, Chris Connell's cover gets the most description, but I am not sure any other artist has to be mentioned in the lead.
 * Done


 * I would look at all of the links and make sure they add to the reader's understanding - do we really need links to freeway or psychiatric hospital - are they unknowns or do the links really improve understanding of the song? See WP:OVERLINK
 * Done


 * At the same time there are some places where adding links could help - for example "seventh" is not linked and there are six articles on musical sevenths (see seventh), so a link would let the reader know which is meant.
 * Hmm, I'm not too sure which one is the correct one to chose.


 * Jackson is American so the article should use American English, but there are some British English words and spellings that are out of place here - noticed "whilst" and the semi-automated peer review lists other possibilities.
 * Doing


 * I would use an image from the video that showed something lighting up when Jackson touched it, especially given the amount of description devoted to things lighting up in the video - maybe a dance move where he is on a lit square - even en pointe (on tips of his toes)?
 * Done


 * Was Jackson siging any version Billie Jean when he was burnt filming the Pepsi commercial? If not, there seems to be a bit too much on that in an article on this song.
 * Yes, he was singing the Billie Jean/Pepsi jingle.


 * I am used to seeing what is in "Chart procession and succession" (awkward name) in a navbox at the end of the article, not here.
 * Done


 * Is About.com a reliable source, even for for music reviews???
 * I asked at WP:RS/N. They said it was.


 * VIPs in The VIPs acknowledged Brown's performance with a standing ovation.[59] seems a bit POV
 * Done

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 13:47, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
 * It certainly did help. Thanks for the review.  Pyrrhus  16 ''' 16:46, 11 June 2009 (UTC)