Wikipedia:Peer review/Binky Brown Meets the Holy Virgin Mary/archive1

Binky Brown Meets the Holy Virgin Mary
This peer review discussion has been closed. I'm going to be nominating this article for FA in the near future and would like to get some more eyes on it before then. Binky Brown has the distinctions of being a work about someone suffering from OCD before the condition had a name, and for being the first work of confessional autobiography in comics, possibly the most significant subgenre of arts comics in the English language.

Thanks, Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 06:50, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

Happy to take a look though.
 * "of rules with which to cope with these" How about "in an attempt to cope with" to avoid repetition?
 * I just dropped the "with which". Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "Binky's anguish becomes all-consuming as he imagines the destruction he cannot avoid, and spends hours praying to God for forgiveness." "Binky's anguish" is the subject of the sentence, but, of course, it is Binky himself who prays. This should be rephrased.
 * Reworded to "Binky finds his anguish all-consuming". Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "Last Gasp reprinted the story in 1995 in The Binky Brown Sampler, a softcover anthology of Binky Brown comics with an introduction by Art Spiegelman." You're yet to mention that there are other Binky Brown comics- the fact that Binky Brown Meets the Holy Virgin Mary suggested (to me, at least) that there weren't any others?
 * There wesn't a series, and there were no other standalone comics—the others appeared in various anthologies over the years. None of them have gained the reputation of Meets the Holy Virgin Mary. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "Green sold the artwork to the strip in the 1970s" You mean the original, here?
 * Yes, I've added "original". Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "Though Green built Binky Brown on an autobiographical base he fabricated many scenes—such as one in which he is bullied by two third-graders—"to suggest or convey a whole generalized idea about some subjective feeling, such as order or fear or guilt".[10]" In which Binky is bullied, surely?
 * Right, reworded. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "The work is conscious of its own creation—Green's drawing of it frames the narrative proper and there are constant reminders of it throughout." I'm afraid I'm not clear on what this means
 * Hmmm ... what happens is that the whole story is framed by Binky creating it himself. It opens with him drawing the story, and there are reminders throughout of the story's being in mid-creation. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "the figure as the narrator" The figure being the Crypt Keeper? (Also, our article on the comic calls him "The Crypt-Keeper")
 * No, the figure being adult Binky. Reworded. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "Binky Brown was the first work of autobiographical comics to depict explicit sexuality" I thought it was the first work of autobiographical comics full stop?
 * No, it's "the first major work of autobiography in English-language comics". Earlier autobiographical works are rare and have had no lasting influence.  Binky Brown is consider the work that began autobiographical comics as a genre—basically, autobio has become something of a cliché in underground and alternative comics, because it seems nearly every such cartoonist at least tries their hand at it, and the blame for that is placed at Green's door. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "Though awkward, Green put" Green was awkward?
 * Changed to "Though the artwork is awkward". Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * ""Perspective" and "Fun With a Pencil"" If these are manuals, the titles should probably be italicised (though quote marks may be useful to suggest that these aren't necessarily real manuals)
 * Fixed. They may have been real (several of these background artificats were), but my sources don't say. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "a snowball hurling into Hell" Do you mean "hurtling", here?
 * Fixed. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "a fish chased by a police office adorned with a crucifix" Officer? Also, is it the fish or the officer who has the crucifix?
 * Changed to "police officer who wears a crucifix". Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * What is an "overdetermined subjectivity"?
 * I'd like to know. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Some inconsistency with "the church" versus "the Church". The latter is surely correct if you're meaning to abbreviate the phrase "the Roman Catholic Church"
 * I think I've fixed this. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "a "serious of purpose".[5]" Does she/you mean seriousness, here?
 * Yes, fixed. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "has gained little appreciation from" This sounds slightly non-neutral- to say that one group didn't appreciate something seems to point at a weakness of the group. How about "little acclaim"?
 * I've gone with "recognition". Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "Green had read Philip Roth (pictured) and other literary writers who bared their personal lives in their work." As opposed to non-literary writers?
 * Dropped. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "The same year as Binky Brown publication" Missing word?
 * Missing " 's ". Fixed. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Is Funny Aminals notable? Don't be scared of redlinks!
 * It may be, but I've only read about it in passing in sources that talk about the "Maus" strip. Underground comix titles tended to be extremely short-lived, even when they sold well. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * "in Madison Clell's Cuckoo" Does Cuckoo (comics) point at what you want it to? I know nothing about the subject, but it doesn't look right.
 * No, I've turned that redirect into a dab page and removed the link for now. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Could you not cite the actual author of "Binky Brown Meets the Holy Virgin Mary", rather than the editor? Or have I misunderstood what you are citing, here?
 * Why do you not cite the further reading suggestions?
 * The Levin one I don't have access to (it's a career retrospective), and the Burbey one's an interview that doesn't really give anything encyclopaedic to add that's not already in the article, but is probably Green's most in-depth interview. I'll ask around for the Levin one. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * I managed to get access to the Levin article, and have aded a couple little things. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 22:47, 11 April 2015 (UTC)
 * I note that there are a good number of hits on Google Scholar in a wide variety of journals- have you sifted through them? (I admit that I haven't...)
 * I have. The vast majority are about Maus and mention Binky Brown in passing.  The vast majority of what's left mention it in passing as an influence on Robert Crumb or whoever.  It's a book that gets name-dropped left and right, but which rarely gets written up in depth. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Any chance of a category tying the work to its author?
 * I've added one, but it won't likely get populated very soon. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Category:Obsessive–compulsive disorder in fiction?
 * Added, thanks! Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)

Really interesting read. Josh Milburn (talk) 16:28, 5 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks a lot! Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 03:17, 6 April 2015 (UTC)