Wikipedia:Peer review/Bob Ferguson (baseball)/archive1

Bob Ferguson (baseball)
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because… I want to people who are more suited at writing articles of this type, who can then help the text flow better. Any ideas for sub sections, or the moving, deleting, or adding content. Thanks, Neonblak (talk) 04:31, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

SGGH

I suggest:


 * 1) ✅* the comma within the "" on "death to flying things" suggests that it is part of the quote and should be outside of it, I feel.
 * 2) ✅* "His character and unquestioned honesty was looked up to and was sorely needed during a period in baseball history where the game's reputation was badly damaged by gamblers and rowdy behavior by players and fans, and it served him well during his long career" - this is a) a lot of info for the lead, b) hopefully cited by [3] and if not, needs to be cited quickly, and if is uncited then is POV etc.
 * 3) ✅* having the nickname info so far away from the nickname in the lead is a bit confusing
 * 4) ✅* "early career" new york is repeated twice in quick succession
 * 5) ✅* "drove in the tying run" non-baseball watchers (like me) would not understand the term "drove in" is it baseball specific or just an unusual analogy?
 * 6) ✅* "One possible reason raised was that nobody wanted to be like Ferguson. But soon, the advantage that switch-hitting posed in situational hitting, and platooning ballplayers" too much baseball jargon
 * 7) ✅* cites [2] and [2] in "national association" you only need the last one as the two lines are together
 * career highlights and awards in infobox, "No notable achievements" is that a third party RS statement?
 * 1) ✅* between [3] and [6] in "National League" is a big gap for no cites

Other than that, seems fairly comprehensive and well written. Hope my suggestions are of use... --SGGH speak! 20:15, 12 April 2008 (UTC)


 * Thank you for reviewing this article, and I have made the suggested changes, and a few corrections that I noticed myself.Neonblak (talk) 21:35, 12 April 2008 (UTC)