Wikipedia:Peer review/Boruto: Naruto the Movie/archive1

Boruto: Naruto the Movie
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm not too familiar with film articles and I decided to request help from other editors before a copy-edit. What do you think?

Thanks, Tintor2 (talk) 23:05, 4 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Pinging some experienced users to, , , .Tintor2 (talk) 14:08, 5 November 2017 (UTC)
 * I will provide some comments for this in a few days if that is okay. Thank you for pinging me. Aoba47 (talk) 14:52, 5 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Forgot who has edited the article in the past.Tintor2 (talk) 00:28, 6 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Comments from Aoba47

Thanks for the quick response. I tried rewriting almost all the sentences but I don't know which still need more copyedit. In regards to the plot section, there is no exact time because the film is supposed to take place few years after the manga but it is never specified how much. Also, I don't know about adding Sakura and Hinata's last names in the plot considering they changed their last names too.Tintor2 (talk) 21:10, 5 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Thank you for addressing my points. I think that the prose is good for GAN, but it may be helpful to have a few more sets of eyes look through it if you are interested in putting this through the FAC process. And thank you for clarifying the two points above. I understand the point about the timeline, and the current wording is fine as it stands. I also understand the point about the last names as introducing the characters' original last names (or the last names they were associated with in previous installments of the franchise) would only introduce points of confusion rather than helping. I may look through the article again in the future and do some minor copy-edits (that you can revert if necessary of course) while this is still up for peer review. Good luck with getting more feedback. I hope I do not scare anyone away with the amount of comments that I left. I didn't realize it was so much lol. Great work with the article as a whole! Aoba47 (talk) 22:29, 5 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Comments from DragonZero
 * "However, this time Kishimoto took a larger role in the making of this film." Clarity. I remember reading about Kishimoto's role in the previous films so this sentence makes sense to me, but to the general audience, it raises questions.
 * The sentences following the above with Kishimoto's staff is a bit awkward. I think it'll need to be reworked to improve flow and clarity instead of just a rewrite.
 * "its home media releases had good sales" I would clarify or omit this; its hard to base whether the sales were good base on numbers alone.
 * "scenes as well as Boruto's growth across the story when becoming closer to his father."; I would change this to ', and Boruto's growth
 * "However, he wanted both Naruto and Boruto's bond improved during the plot", relationship to improve during the plot of the film
 * "Junko Takeuchi]b"
 * I don't know the style for box office sales, but its a bit questionable only the second foreign dollars is converted to USD.
 * Overall, seems fine. It could improve in the prose here and there, and I have not looked at the plot during this time. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 23:41, 6 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Thanks DragonZero. I already requested a copy-edit of the film and tried revising the plot section to make it seem easier to understand. I am also not familiar with box offices so I don't know what to do.Tintor2 (talk) 23:52, 6 November 2017 (UTC)

DragonZero wrote me a shorter version of the plot section:

"Boruto: Naruto the Movie takes place a few years after the Naruto series, and follows Boruto Uzumaki, the son of Naruto Uzumaki and Hinata Hygua. Naruto's position as the Hokage leaves an absent father role in Boruto's life, causing him to act out to gain his father's attention. When Sasuke returns to Konoha to report his findings from Kaguya Ōtsutsuki's castle to Naruto, Boruto asks Sasuke for training in order to defeat Naruto. As the first step to his long-term plan, Boruto needs to pass the Chuunin exam. Under pressure to succeed, Boruto cheats by using a device to deploy ninja techniques, and is disqualified during the semi-finals battle when caught. Shortly after, the village is attacked by Kinshiki Ōtsutsuki and Momoshiki Ōtsutsuki, who abducts Naruto in the aftermath.

Sasuke leads a team consisting of the Kages and Boruto to pursue and rescue Naruto, culminating with Boruto disintegrating the combined form of Kinshiki and Momoshiki with a Rasengan. Humbled by his recent experiences, Boruto develops a newfound respect towards hard work, and dedicates himself to becoming a ninja like Sasuke."

Do you think it's better?Tintor2 (talk) 15:33, 7 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Forgot to ping . Also has been trying to revise the prose.Tintor2 (talk) 15:35, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * My plot would still need work though. I think it takes a bit more time than what I used when writing that. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 22:31, 7 November 2017 (UTC)


 * While I like that summary, doesn't it feel a bit short for a 90 minute movie? I tried trimming the plot but considering elements like Naruto joining forces with Sasuke is mentioned in the production and reception sections and I don't feel like doing that.Tintor2 (talk) 23:09, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I can see it being controversial due to its length. It was intended to help generate ideas, rather than replace the plot in the article. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 23:33, 7 November 2017 (UTC)


 * I see, thanks. Still, I don't know if how much revisit needs the plot section in order to be easier to understand to readers who did not watch the series. I already asked for a copyedit but I also removed Kaguya's mention in the article.Tintor2 (talk) 23:40, 7 November 2017 (UTC)

Hey Tintor2 great work as always. Aoba47 and DragonZero already gave some interesting comments above that may help you with the article. As for me, my only suggestion that has not already been raised above is to check if there are any Japanese or non-English reviews for the film. There's already information about Japanese box-office performance, but it would be nice for the article to explain what Japanese audience thought of the film. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 09:17, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Comments from Narutolovehinata5


 * Any idea where I can find those sources? Not even Blood-C: The Last Dark or Tales of Vesperia: The First Strike have those.Tintor2 (talk) 10:16, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Try searching for "レビュー ボルト" online. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 10:31, 8 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Thanks. I added Yahoo Japan but I don't know about other sites since I can't tell if they are reliable sources or not.Tintor2 (talk) 15:43, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

Are you sure that the music composer is not Yasuharu Takanashi? I think there's a typo on the CD Japan source. --122.108.141.214 (talk) 04:24, 12 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Fixed.Tintor2 (talk) 13:14, 12 November 2017 (UTC)