Wikipedia:Peer review/Boston, Massachusetts/archive1

Boston, Massachusetts
This article has gone through a failed FAC and peer review. Since then I have attempted to clean up this article as much as possible. I was wondering if there is anything more that has to be done before this article is ready for FA. Pentawing 22:58, 9 October 2005 (UTC)


 * Looks great- I don't have time to read though in details, but I noticed two little format things. First, should the table of sporting teams have visible lines? Second, I don't really like the external links in the section on visitor attractions - either write up some stubs if they're quite notable for the area or move the links to the ex links section - although they're not commerical ventures it seems a bit like advertising linked directly from the text.--nixie 01:13, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
 * Taken care of. Pentawing 02:48, 10 October 2005 (UTC)


 * The population figures in the intro and demographics do not tally. Tintin 02:04, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
 * Should the passage in the intro be removed then? Personally, I don't know if the passage should be included since it isn't mentioned much elsewhere (except for demographics which uses the 2000 census data). Pentawing 02:48, 10 October 2005 (UTC)


 * I have no complaints about including it both in the intro and in the other section, but just that they should agree. The intro now puts it at 569,165 as of 2004 and demo at 589,141 in 2000. Probably one of them is wrong; or if the larger number is for Boston CMSA, the demographics section should mention that. If there was a census in 2004, what is the need for 2000 figures anyway. Tintin 03:13, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
 * I decided to use the 2000 census data, given that the 2004 data is an estimate (official census data only come about every decade). I moved the 2004 estimates to the population table in the demographics section. Pentawing 03:38, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
 * The top line in the article says "Boston redirects here." The intransitive verb "redirect" is a Wikipedia term, but the general readership of encyclopedias is unlikely to know what it means. I suggest deleting the phrase. See, for example, Yokohama, Kanagawa, which does not use the template. Fg2 05:56, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
 * I made some more suggestions at User:Fg2/Boston. Please feel free to use anything you like from that. Fg2 06:32, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
 * One general comment is that a lot of space is devoted to things that are not in Boston. Given that Wikipedia has an article on Greater Boston, it's questionable whether companies, universities, and sports teams located in Hopkinton, Cambridge, and Foxboro should be in the article. Some of these can be removed from the Boston article (and moved, where necessary, to the Greater Boston article), while others can be recast from a Boston point of view (e.g. Boston's football fans travel to nearby Foxboro to see the New England Patriots play). Fg2 06:51, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
 * I decided to use most of your suggestions for the introduction. I also replaced the redirect template so that it doesn't use the word "redirect." However, I tried to limit the amount of mention of institutions outside of Boston (I chose to reword so that it is from a Boston point of view). Economy is fairly difficult given that many, if not most, high-tech companies are located outside the city of Boston. Pentawing 02:36, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
 * Again, an alternative to eliminating (or to keeping as is) is to put a Boston slant on things. An example of a Boston slant would be, "Boston venture capital plays an important role in high-tech startups in the area, such as XXX in Cambridge and YYY in Waltham" (but I don't know any factual examples, so I can't add this to the article). Fg2 08:00, 11 October 2005 (UTC) Modified Fg2 08:46, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
 * Global city states that one study "...ranked cities based on their provision of "advanced producer services" such as accountancy, advertising, banking/finance and law" so a comment on accounting, advertising, and legal services would be beneficial. These could be stand-alone or integrated with the information on universities.


 * That article also mentions ethnic communities, so brief mention of Chinese, Italian, Jewish and other communities (present or former) is a possibile supplement to the existing information on Irish, Afro-American, and Hispanic groups.


 * Boston is also famous for restaurants, and these can be tied in to ethnic cuisine, sites of interest, neighborhoods etc. Seafood has a mention, but lobsters, clams, and scallops, cod, and schrod--- all associated with Boston (in the minds of either Bostonians or others) --- do not. Italian food, New England boiled dinner, chowder, restaurants or neighborhoods that specialize in any of these... all worth consideration (whether they make it into the article or not).


 * I'm tossing out ideas; please do not think that I would vote against an FAC for lack of any of these! Fg2 08:09, 15 October 2005 (UTC)


 * I added some information that you suggested, though much of it is in sub-articles (notably for culture in Boston). Pentawing 19:14, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
 * I know you've worked hard to establish that balance, so I didn't add the material myself. Fg2 00:33, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
 * Okay, so is there anything more that needs to be added? Pentawing 00:43, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
 * Congressional district? I've looked at several featured articles on cities, and didn't notice anything prominent that they have that's lacking in this article. Hardly prominent, but perhaps worth noting, is Ann Arbor, Michigan's health-care ranking.


 * This is a very blue article, indicating tremendous breadth of coverage backing up the main article. I do have a question about the BC photo: is the prominent building within the city limits of Boston? If so, we can rewrite the caption to indicate that, or simply keep the photo and change nothing; if the building is outside the city limits, the photo would be more appropriate for an article on another city (it already illustrates several articles). Fg2 01:48, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
 * I can't say much for health-care ranking (as in Ann Arbor, Michigan, which I got to FA, but someone else added that piece of information). I'll see about congressional districts. As for the BC picture, the image description says that it is in the Chestnut Hill portion of the campus. However, I am currently not in the Boston area, so I can't get a replacement image myself. Pentawing 01:59, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
 * Regarding the BC pic: Chestnut Hill isn't actually a town. It's a name that covers parts of Boston, Brookline and Newton. Technically speaking, the Boston-Newton line goes right through the area of the "Chestnut Hill" campus in the picture. The library is in Boston, the larger tower is in Newton. I simplified the text regarding BC's location to make it less ambiguous. --18.95.1.21 05:19, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
 * Thanks for clearing that up. As long as a good part of the photo shows Boston, it should be appropriate for the article. Fg2 05:41, 16 October 2005 (UTC)

If you can fix these, I don't see any problem in getting past FAC. =Nichalp  «Talk»=  11:30, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
 * "Commonwealth of Massachusetts" this is something new to me and it initially didn't make sense. Is it possible to rephrase it to capital of the state, or more appropriately the commonwealth...?
 * region known as New England --> add location: NE U.S.
 *  Encompassing parts of New Hampshire, parts of the states…
 * have a variety of origins --> odd sentence try "Boston has a variety of nicknames" instead
 * Same problem with AA on people's designations. John Winthrop's etc. Who were they? William Tudor might have been the king of England ;)
 * Don't start a para with a left-aligned image
 * you can move the BW history image a bit lower.
 * "Boston is named after Boston, England, a town in Lincolnshire." modifiy to: "Boston in Linconshire county in England".
 * 'Revolution (such as, text in parenthesis diverges from the topic. Embed in text instead
 * rum, fish, salt and tobacco. unwikify
 * Greater Boston, unbold, italicise instead
 * Cambridge, and Charlestown are wikified multiple times in ==Geography==
 * Under ==Demographics== again, do not begin with a left image. keep the image on the right, and move the table a little lower,
 * The image on the Beacon Hill houses are in the wrong place, move it lower, after List of Mayors of Boston, Massachusetts
 * A one line description on plurality voting?
 * Sister Cities International, Inc. (SCI), avoid linking using this style. wikify instead.
 * place the state-house image just after =State and federal agencies= right align.
 * are footnotes 4,5,6 all necessary?
 * See also: Major companies in Greater Boston, this should come at the end of the section. In general, {{main| comes after the title, and {{see also| comes at the end of a section.
 * Boston Latin School (the oldest... bracket issue again
 * number of rotaries, which have confused many drivers. bit silly having this statement, I feel.
 * Many consider Boston a highly cultured city, perhaps as a result of its intellectual reputation This is a peacock or weasel phrase.
 * That sports table looks unprofessional for a page like this, please merge with the text.
 * ==Transportation= should have two paragraphs. Merge.
 * Amtrak's Northeast Corridor and Chicago make it clear that the paragraph deals with rail transport.
 * one of those surplus images in the demographics or government sections can be added to ==economy==
 * I see a few footnotes. Recently, I've begun to object to the abuse of footnotes in favour of inotes. In this scenario, I feel that 2, 3, (4 or 5 or 6 – choose two), 7, 10 and 11 should be converted to {{tl|inote}}. Those links in the ==notes== should be added to ==references==. Use {tl|explain-inote}} under the ==Reference== section.
 * There's a category All-America city. Perhaps you could mention that award under culture.
 * I've checked the content page size, its reduced and I don't have a problem with it. (31 kb raw content.). If there is a need to cut down text, look at the ==demographics== section. Some unnecessary figures can be pushed into a main article.
 * There are nine red links, consider filling them up.