Wikipedia:Peer review/Bottlenose dolphin/archive1

Bottlenose dolphin
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I believe that this GA is nearly to FA status, we just need input on the organization.

Thanks, Beluga  boy ''cup of tea? 18:17, 27 September 2011 (UTC)

I have had a read-through, and jotted down some thoughts as I went. I'm afraid it's more a disconnected series of suggestions than a coherent review, but it might give you something to be getting on with. Feel free to ask for clarification if any of these points are unclear. --Stemonitis (talk) 18:28, 3 October 2011 (UTC)

RJH Comments: It's a decent article, but I'm not fully convinced it's ready for FA yet. Here's a few observations:
 * The lead reads a little simplisitically, although I'm not sure how to improve it.
 * Perhaps change 2nd+3rd sentences to "Traditionally considered a single species, molecular studies suggest at least two species – the common bottlenose dolphin (Tursiops truncatus) and the Indo-Pacific bottlenose dolphin (Tursiops aduncus) – with a third, the Burrunan dolphin (Tursiops australis), described in 2011.
 * A number of interwiki links appear to be missing, presumably because they ostensibly cover only the species T. tursiops. I would argue that where they are using a circumscription where it is the only species, it corresponds with the whole genus, and not with T. tursiops s.str.
 * "The consensus is there are two species" – this sentence needs a "that" in my opinion, and is referenced to a 1998 work. Is that really an up-to-date assessment of consensus among mammalogists?
 * What dialect of English is this written in? It appears to be in Commonwealth English (grey; metre) in places, but uses -ize verb endings, which is unusual in British English, and later parts are in American English (behavior). This must be standardised.
 * Hybrids should uses en dashes in place of hyphens, or even better, "×".
 * There is no mention of Gervais, 1855, when the genus was erected. The two species at that time had previously been in Delphinus – what separated Tursiops from that genus, and from any others that may be closely related? Similarly, the Description section should mention how to tell Tursiops apart from other cetaceans. It should also include the differences between the 2/3 species – are they morphologically identical, or are there subtle variations?
 * Any reason why the 2–3 species can't be listed in the taxobox, instead of the fairly unhelpful "See text", perhaps together with the type species?
 * The (largely unreferenced) eyesight section claims that Tursiops has a "specialized pupil" because it contracts in bright light. How is this any more specialised than any other eye?
 * The Interaction section is very bitty, with no coherent narrative.
 * Cultural Influence (which should be in sentence case) is almost entirely unsupported by citations.
 * There are some words missing in this paragraph: "In the HBO movie Zeus and Roxanne, a female bottlenose dolphin befriends a male dog, and in a 1996 made for TV Dolphin Tale, directed by Charles Martin Smith, starring Nathan Gamble, Ashley Judd, Harry Connick, Jr., Morgan Freeman, Kris Kristofferson and Winter, herself. The movie will be in theatres on September 23, 2011.[citation needed] movie, Bermuda Triangle, a girl named Annie (played by Lisa Jakub) swims with dolphins."
 * How much of the material is really about the genus, and how much is species-specific? I assume almost all the research into intelligence and so on refer to T. tursiops (s.str.). It isn't clear to me where to draw the line, but it's something to think about.
 * "Was described in...": grammar.
 * "Scientists were long aware that...": How long?
 * "Old scientific data do not distinguish...": how old?
 * Some paragraphs are quite short. Paragraphs
 * The physiology information seems decidedly lacking, and the Anatomy seems a little on the brief side. Maybe at least state that their physiology matches the general dolphin layout then state the specific variations.
 * "Some researchers..." may be WP:WEASEL.
 * The "Cognition" section could definitely use information about the conclusions reached from the research.
 * The text in "Tool use and culture" about cooperative fishing with humans is somewhat redundant with similar text in the "Interaction". I'm not suggesting removal, but you might want to consider organizational issues.
 * The paragraph that begins "Its diet consists mainly of small fish..." keeps flopping back and forth between singular and plural. It would read better if one tense were chosen.
 * "...include Dolphin Cove, seaQuest DSV, and The Penguins of Madagascar, in which a dolphin, Doctor Blowhole, is a villain." This is true for all three films?
 * "Less local climate change, such as increasing water temperature..." makes no sense.
 * There's a lot of inconsistency in the citations. These tend to get picked apart during the FAC. My suggestion is to carefully go through them with a fine-toothed comb and make everything has a highly consistent layout. I started to list them all below, but there's just too much variation. (This is why I like to use the citation template; it ensures consistency.) Instead, here are some examples:
 * "Rice, Dale W": missing a period after the 'W'.
 * "Charlton-Robb, K; Gershwin L, Thompson R, Austin J, Owen K, et al.": no periods after the initials; switched format.
 * "LeDuc R.G., Perrin W.F. and Dizon A.E.": no spaces between initials; different format for the name list.
 * "Herzing, D., Moewe, K., & Brunnick, B.": using commas rather than semi-colons.
 * "Deborah A. Duffield": different name order.
 * "Pack AA, Herman LM": no periods after semi-colons; uses comma instead of semi-colon; no space between initials.
 * "erman, L. M.; Peacock, M. F., Yunker, M. P. & Madsen, C.": switches from semi-colons to commas.
 * "Janik VM, Slater PJB" ...
 * The following citations appear inadequately developed. Try adding information such as the authors, publishers, publication date, &c.
 * "Catalog of Living Whales"
 * "Bottlenose Dolphin (Tursiops truncatus): Western North Atlantic Offshore Stock"
 * "Tursiops truncatus: Species Information"
 * "Risso's Dolphin – American Cetacean Society"
 * ""The Mammals of Texas – Rough-toothed Dolphin"
 * "Robin's Island Database about captive Dolphins and Whales"
 * American Cetacean Society Fact Sheet – Bottlenose Dolphin
 * "Office of Protected Resources – Bottlenose Dolphin (Tursiops truncatus)"
 * "Bottlenose Dolphins – Longevity and Causes of Death"
 * "Bottlenose Dolphin Tursiops truncatus at MarineBio.org"
 * "Dolphin reveals an extra set of 'legs'"
 * "Bottlenose Dolphins: Adaptations for an Aquatic Environment"
 * "Dolphin Characteristics"
 * "The Dolphin Institute – Behavioral Mimicry"
 * and so forth...

Regards RJH (talk) 19:33, 13 October 2011 (UTC)