Wikipedia:Peer review/Brad Evans/archive1

Brad Evans
This peer review discussion has been closed. I'm new to writing articles about people and I'd like some feedback. I'd like to see this article become a GA eventually, but there isn't much help out there.  Sounder Bruce  17:40, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

Comments The Rambling Man (talk) 19:15, 29 January 2013 (UTC)
 * I wrote a GA about a soccer player, it's Jason Dozzell. It was a while ago but checking it out and its review may help.  Brad Evans has much more info available...
 * Put (MLS) after "Major League Soccer".
 * "stayed for 2 seasons" -> two (per MOSNUM).
 * "for a 2-goal" same.
 * "appeared 5 times for" same, etc. You can see the theme...
 * Lead: second para repeats a lot of the first para..!
 * Infobox, date format is British, you presumably want it to be US for consistency.
 * "was born to parents" would imagine that "parents" is redundant here.
 * "Evans played 6 matches during the 2004 season and scored 4 goals.[4][5][6][7][8]" five refs for this? If you don't have a single ref showing all his games in the 2004 season, how do I know he didn't play in other games?
 * Not sure how to cite his appearances then, the PDL website doesn't go back to 2004.
 * Don't repeat his first name after the first sentence.
 * Coming from a featured list perspective, it would be nice if you could make the tables accessible by using row and col scopes per MOS:DTT.
 * Not sure if this is possible.
 * Why the use of bold text in the "honors" section? Check out WP:BADEMPHASIS.
 * Use en-dash in the scorelines in the ref titles.
 * You don't need "Major League Soccer players" as a cat because you have more refined cats.
 * Responded to most of your comments. Thanks for your help.  Sounder Bruce  01:57, 1 February 2013 (UTC)