Wikipedia:Peer review/Burger King products/archive3

Burger King products
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because… I want to take to it FA status and I know it needs more improvements. I need a fresh set of eyes to look over this and point out areas needing improvement. Please feel free to nit pick as I want to get this as good as possible.
 * Previous peer review

Thanks, Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 10:41, 13 January 2011 (UTC)

I've laid out some formatting issues below: --Banana (talk) 06:56, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * General issues
 * The table of contents is overwhelming. Sections could either be merged, or sub-sections could be hidden from the table of contents (described at WP:TOC).
 * The article is 129 kilobytes. Consider putting some of the information into sub-pages, as articles over 100 kilobytes are usually split up. (per WP:SIZERULE)
 * All non-decorative images need alt text that is not identical to the caption. The captions in general also need work.
 * I'm confused about why the notes and references sections are separate. The see also section needs to come before the references/notes sections.
 * The notes section is separate because I intend to break out sources that have been used for multiple citations. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 19:11, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * That makes sense to me, but I'm not sure what the folks at FA would think. I'll try and make some non-format comments later. --Banana (talk) 19:43, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I'm not knowledgeable in this area, but I'm not sure about the copyright status of some of the photos, as they show the Burger King trademark. I would seek advice about this before going to FA.
 * The lead does not appear to be a summary of the article (WP:LEAD).--Banana (talk) 07:02, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

Comments just on the section 'Sandwiches and entrées' --Banana (talk) 20:08, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Sandwiches and entrées
 * The lead contains information not in this section (such as that Insta-Burger king opened in Jacksonville, Florida).
 * "As Burger King's flagship product, the Whopper is a line of sandwiches" explain if the whopper is a sandwich or a line of sandwiches. Is the whopper the flagship product or is it the whopper line?
 * I corrected this issue, the change was done by a copy editor during a recent sweep of the article by the COE guild.
 * "The product, sold in the same style of container as the Chicken Tenders, was an order of fish sticks with Tartar sauce for dipping. Portion sizes were similar to those of the Chicken Tenders. The product was discontinued in 1990." Refer to the actual name of the product in one of these sentences.
 * I copy edited the section to clarify the statements. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 20:24, 25 January 2011 (UTC)
 * "To appeal to as many demographic groups as possible and to better compete with Wendy's, Burger King added a value menu in 1998" The next paragraph then beings in a similar way "to better appeal to the adult palate, BK introduced several new products to its menu in 2003, including . . ." I would rework one of the sentences.
 * I actually reworded both to improve the flow of the whole thing. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 09:35, 26 January 2011 (UTC)
 * "Not all these products met corporate sales expectations." which products? by how much did they fail to meet expectations?
 * I reworded the sentence and provided an example. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 10:01, 26 January 2011 (UTC)
 * "With the introduction of the new broilers in 2009, Burger King replaced the Angus Steakhouse burger with the 7 oz (200 g) Steakhouse XT burger." The broilers haven't been introduced at this point in the article and it is unclear to me why the broilers are mentioned. Were they introduced to make the new burger, or did an upgrade in technology allow BK to make this new sandwich?
 * I clarified the statement a little to make the technology change more apparent. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 20:27, 25 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Ancillaries
 * "In 1991, the company introduced Twister fries, spiral-cut fries with a spicy coating, as part of a promotional push." I would rewrite this sentence because I think having three phrases set off by commas makes the sentence hard to read. "As part of a 1991 promotional push. . . " or ". . . coating, as part of a promotional push in 1991" would both work (or some other arrangement).
 * Breakfast
 * "In the late 1990s, BK co-branded several of its breakfast products with former parent Pillsbury; they introduced fresh-baked biscuit bread in 1996 and added miniature cinnamon rolls called Cini-Minis in 1998."Does they refer to Burger King or Pillsbury here?
 * I reworded the section a little to clarify the statement. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 19:13, 26 January 2011 (UTC)

--Banana (talk) 00:42, 26 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Regionalization
 * Reference 52 was not working for me.
 * It appears the website changed web servers and the new format no longer uses PHP. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 08:05, 26 January 2011 (UTC)
 * "Similar adaptations also occured in Israel, where kosher dietary laws forbid the mixture of meat and dairy products. Many BKs in Israel were fully kosher.[54]" I would briefly mention that Burger King is no longer in Israel.
 * added that note and cited it. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 08:05, 26 January 2011 (UTC)