Wikipedia:Peer review/Campbell's dwarf hamster/archive1

Campbell's dwarf hamster
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I want it to become a good article and before I nominate it I want it to be peer reviewed.

Thanks,  Puffin  Let's talk! 11:06, 7 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Comments from Nikkimaria
 * File:Campbells_dwarf.jpg: where are you getting that licensing tag from? The given source seems to cite Wikipedia
 * Image changed.  Puffin  Let's talk! 19:20, 12 January 2013 (UTC)
 * " the breeding season for Campbell's dwarf hamster is different, depending on the location" - how about "varies by location" or similar? More concision needed
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 17:07, 8 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Check comma usage throughout
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 19:20, 12 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "Campbell's dwarf hamster marks it scent around its territory using harderian glands, skin glands located behind the ears, urine and feces for communication" - grammar. Some general copy-editing needed
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 17:07, 8 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "The lowest tolerated temperature from a laboratory experiment showed that Campbell's dwarf hamster can resist temperatures" - phrasing
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 19:20, 12 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "The tunnel...are usually" - grammar
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 17:07, 8 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "The diets of the three types of hamsters are different to avoid fighting over the same type of food" - which came first? That is, did they switch diets to avoid competition or do they live together because their diets were different to begin with?
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 19:20, 12 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "they may be found yurts" - grammar
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 17:07, 8 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "males are at higher risk to predators" - do you mean "from predators"?
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 17:07, 8 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "the breeding season begins towards the middle of April in Tuva and towards the end of April in Mongolia... in Mongolia, it begins in May" - which is correct?
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 19:20, 12 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "In captivity, the gestation period for Campbell's dwarf hamster is between 18–20 days and the shortest gestation period recorded for a captive female was 13 days...oher females have a gestation period of approximately five days" - which is correct?
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 19:20, 12 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "Females are usually sexually mature at two weeks of age...females become sexually mature at two months of age" - which is correct? Check for other inconsistencies
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 19:20, 12 January 2013 (UTC)
 * "Female hamsters that live with the male hamsters after mating" - how typical is this behaviour?
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 19:20, 12 January 2013 (UTC)
 * FN34: page? Nikkimaria (talk) 02:32, 8 January 2013 (UTC)
 * ✅ revision  Puffin  Let's talk! 19:20, 12 January 2013 (UTC)