Wikipedia:Peer review/Canberra/archive1

Canberra
Wikiproject:Canberra has been working on this to get it ready for FAC. It is pretty complete, but general critique from some non-locals would be very welcome. --nixie 05:06, 4 September 2005 (UTC)

Nice article: A few points though:

=Nichalp  «Talk»=  12:52, September 4, 2005 (UTC)
 * The lead should be split into two paras. Its easier to read and according to the MoS.
 * 'Canberry' & 'meeting place' should be italicised. (MoS)
 * Years: 1820 etc should be wikified.
 * History between 1927 and the 1970s?
 * use a non breaking space &amp;nbsp; between 150 and km. Similarly for temperatures, similarly use &amp;minus; for sub zero temperatures.
 * Geology of the area? rock types etc. (if possible)
 * According to this site: the lowest recorded temp is -10 C. Should be added.
 * In the economy section, starting with a left aligned image may be considered bad style. People expect to read a section from the left.
 * Major occupations of the residents?
 * cultural/political --> cultural and political
 * Imperial unit equivalents for those not familiar with SI units?
 * I read somewhere that the region between Canberra and the sea is declared as an enclave or neutral zone of some sorts so that Canberra has access to the sea.
 * Q: which city did you draw inspiration from?

Thanks for the review, I've struck out the easy things. In response to the left overs
 * There's a difficulty with Canberra and cross over with the Australian Capital Territory; Canberra is the only significant settlement in the ACT, I was going to leave stuff like geology for the ACT article since it bears little importance to the city itself.
 * I've added a bit about history between the 20's and the 70s, not much happened at all until after world war II, since there was noone around to build Canberra, and after World War II it was more or less continuous construction.
 * Occupations of the residents is mentioned in the economy section, I'm not keen to quote detailed stats since I would also need to explain what the statistical categories mean, I have however added the percentage of workers employed in the public sector.
 * Last time I had both metric and imperial measures they were quickly removed by other editors, so I'm not going to add them here.
 * The enclave thing is not quite right, the federal government bought a piece of land on the coast now known as the Jervis Bay Territory so the capital had access (largely theoretical) to a sea port. However there is no corridor to connect the two territories, it is not administered by the ACT government, but people in the territoy are a part of the federal ACT electoral district. So technically it's not relevant to Canberra the city, but the situation is discussed in the ACT article.
 * I've been woking off both the Mumbai and the Johannesburg articles.--nixie 14:03, 4 September 2005 (UTC)


 * Ok fair enough: Some more nitpicks: 1) A few dates are not wikified in the bottom. 2) The demographics needs to begin with the population and population density. (likewise, the area should be mentioned in the =geog= too). Reason:Its easy to compare the statistics that follow. 3) religion-wise breakdown? 4) In about one winter in three, snow falls in the city; the... That sentence doesn't flow well. Needs to be copyedited. [I learned something new, I didn't know it snowed in any of the Aus. cities]. Lastly, I recognised something familiar about the content and flow of the article ;) that's why I asked you about the referred city. =Nichalp   «Talk»=  18:38, September 4, 2005 (UTC)


 * I should have all those points covered now. While it does snow in Canberra, sadly it doesn't last - melting either as it hits the ground or the following morning; Hobart also get occasional snow. Thanks again.--nixie 00:14, 5 September 2005 (UTC)
 * That winter sentence still reads bad. I'd prefer if it could be split into two sentences. =Nichalp   «Talk»=  09:17, September 5, 2005 (UTC)
 * Done.--nixie 01:01, 6 September 2005 (UTC)