Wikipedia:Peer review/Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation/archive1

The Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation
This happens to be one of the first articles I ever started as a Wikipedian (on March 4), as a fan of the Care Bears, their TV show and movies. Work on this article only sped up in recent months because of a copy of the film I obtained from the Internet.

This is no likely FA candidate, since it's a children's animated film and not that many people have recently seen it, not even on cable television. And the critics have been no nicer to it...

Yet, in keeping with Wikipedia's quality standards (after I went through all those spelling and grammatical corrections and rewrites), this is really one of the best articles I have ever worked on.

However, before it attains FA status, four tasks should be done to make it a little better:
 * 1) the simplification of the crew members list;
 * 2) adding Leonard Maltin's comments on the film;
 * 3) getting a suitable picture or two for the plot and characters section;
 * 4) replacing the 2003 video cover with the original 1986 poster.

I would like to see it featured on the Main Page anytime before its 20th anniversary. Please read my ideas for its improvement, and tell me if you agree for its qualification. --Slgrandson 14:48, 2 December 2005 (UTC)


 * The article needs a "references" section, in the sense of a list of the documents that confirm all the facts presented in the article. Also, the variety of bullet-point sections that currently dominate much of the article should probably be converted into prose, if possible. Christopher Parham (talk) 18:21, 3 December 2005 (UTC)


 * I'm afraid that I didn't make it through all of the lengthy "Plot and characters" section. I'd like this to be broken up into subsections to make it more digestible. There are a few awkward phrases that need work, for example I found "Proving such reputation" somewhat jarring. The references section is not a conventional references section of a wikipedia article; perhaps "literary references" would be a better title. I am also of the opinion that articles shouldn't really have a "trivia" section, as trivial information doesn't belong in an encyclopedia article. This should be merged into the rest of the article if at all possible, where appropriate. Finally, I think the "Crew members" section is too long; mentioning the notable crew members only and giving a reference to an external source such as imdb would be sufficient for this, it seems to me. Lupin|talk|popups 00:33, 4 December 2005 (UTC)

I've responded to you with the crew simplification. Happy (at least) now? Still, there's time before we get it to FA status--there are three more tasks to go. --Slgrandson 02:47, 6 December 2005 (UTC)

Now I've almost finished the article--except for, at least, two more things:
 * 1) Leonard Maltin's comments on the film need to be added in the reaction and reputation section (someone should have his Movie and Video Guide for this task);
 * 2) there should be another part of the article covering the music and soundtrack.

Read those ideas and see this time if you agree as to whether they could be accepted into the article. I am waiting politely for a response. --Slgrandson 17:55, 6 December 2005 (UTC)


 * I'm going to watch the film myself before I pass any comment. It's coming on on British TV sometime over the Christmas period. Spe88 18:52, 13 December 2005 (UTC)