Wikipedia:Peer review/Charles A. Wickliffe/archive1

Charles A. Wickliffe

 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for March 2009.
 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for March 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed. My goal is to get this article to good article status. (Please note, I am not shooting for featured article at this point.) For some reason, I don't feel that it is quite up to GA standards yet, but I can't put my finger on why. I'd like to get feedback on what needs to be improved to make this a GA, or if you think it is already there, please let me know that as well.

Thanks, Acdixon (talk • contribs • count) 01:55, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: My impression is that this is almost GA. It's generally well-written, seems factually accurate and verifiable, is broad in coverage, neutral, and stable. I have some suggestions about images and their licenses, about sections where the prose seems a bit choppy, and about a few other quite minor prose issues.

Images
 * The lead image has a license problem. Please see WP:FURG for an explanation of this fairly complicated business. In addition to the non-free copyright tag and rationale, the license page needs a link to the image source, not just to the disconnected image. The idea is to provide the information that a fact-checker would need to verify the claims being made. It would also be helpful to broaden the description a bit to include the dates of Wickliffe's term as governor.
 * Sorry about that. I didn't check the image, so I didn't realize it was using the wrong tag. I found a source that says the image was created in 1908, which should put it in the public domain. I've updated the image page accordingly.


 * The licenses look OK on the other two, but the descriptions could be more complete. Suggestion: Imagine a reader who finds the image without having read the article, and briefly explain the image to that reader.
 * I've added some verbiage to the Wickland image, but I don't know much about the other one. Bedford, the image's creator, would have to add those details.


 * This is a nitpick, but the Wickland photo seems tilted to the left. It might not work, but I'd be tempted to rotate it a few degrees clockwise, re-crop, and see how it looks. This is possible in some photo manipulation programs like Photoshop (commercial) and Paint.NET (free and downloadable) but not others.
 * Again, I think Bedford would need to address this issue, especially considering my Photoshop skills are adequate at best.

''Lead"
 * "Wickliffe received a strong education both in public school and through private tutors." - Tighten by deleting "both"?
 * Done.


 * "Following his term as governor, President Tyler appointed Wickliffe as Postmaster General." - To move modifier close to the noun modified, perhaps this would be better: "President Tyler appointed Wickliffe as Postmaster General after his term as governor."
 * Done.

''Early life"
 * "His family immigrated to Kentucky" - "Emigrated"?
 * Done.

Later political career
 * It might be worthwhile to link "trestle".
 * Done.

"Wickliffe served as a delegate to the Democratic National Convention of 1864 in Chicago, casting his vote for George B. McClellan.[19] In the final years of his life, he became totally blind.[3] While visiting his daughter in Maryland, he fell gravely ill[16] and, dying on October 31, 1869, near Ilchester, was buried in Bardstown Cemetery in Bardstown.[6] During World War I, a U.S. naval ship was named in Wickliffe's honor." Or something like that.
 * In this section and in a few other places in the article, I found the writing a bit choppy. I think this could easily be fixed by adding a little variety to the sentence structure in the midst of the choppy places. Combining an occasional pair of similar short sentences and making a slightly longer compound sentence might do the trick. Example: "Wickliffe served as a delegate to the Democratic National Convention of 1864 in Chicago, casting his vote for George B. McClellan.[19] In the final years of his life, he became totally blind.[3] While visiting his daughter in Maryland, he fell gravely ill.[16] He died on October 31, 1869, near Ilchester, Maryland and was buried in Bardstown Cemetery in Bardstown.[6] During World War I, a U.S. naval ship was named in Wickliffe's honor." This might be adjusted as follows:
 * Corrected this example and a few others. Let me know if I made anything worse!

Links
 * This article has quite a high density of links in places. I'd suggest weeding out a few here and there. For example, I don't think you need to link "British" or "French" or "blind" in the lead.
 * I've taken out the examples above.

If you find this review to be helpful, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 06:33, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review; it has given me more confidence that the article can pass a GA review in the near future. Acdixon (talk • contribs • count) 13:47, 6 March 2009 (UTC)