Wikipedia:Peer review/Chrono (series)/archive1

Chrono (series)
This peer review discussion has been closed. This article was made GA a while ago, I have tried to beef it up a little, and would love to get it to Featured Status. What separates this from that? Judgesurreal777 (talk) 04:10, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I always thought Chrono Break should be merged in this article since it deals with the future of the series rather than a precise game, but I'm not sure about merging two GAs together... Kariteh (talk) 07:21, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I had that thought recently, that it would be a nice big section in a featured article about the series....until it comes out :) Judgesurreal777 (talk) 15:55, 25 April 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: I would not merge two Good Articles without a RfC and prominent notices on each article's talk page, as well as notices to all the editors that made major contributions to each article (over 10 edits?). Since the goal is FA, I will review from that point of view. While this is a good article in more ways than one, it has some ways to go to FA. Here are suggestions for improvement: Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 13:24, 29 April 2008 (UTC)
 * The lead is too short for the length of article (and I have not seen a recent FA with a one paragraph lead). My rule of thumb is that any header should be mentioned in the lead in some way, and nothing should be in the lead only. See WP:LEAD
 * Awkward sentence: As of March 31, 2003, Chrono Trigger was, with 2.65 million units, Square Enix's 12th best-selling game (based on copies shipped); Chrono Cross was, with 1.5 million units, the 24th.[1] First are there more recent sales figures than 2003? Second, how about wording it more like: As of March 31, 2003, Chrono Trigger was Square Enix's 12th best-selling game (with 2.65 million units shipped), and Chrono Cross was 24th with 1.5 million units.[1]?
 * Has to be a better way to say this about the "same staff" too: the "Dream Team" members did not participate in Chrono Cross, the game was developed mostly by the same staff as the first installment.[6]
 * Missing word? perhaps Chrono Trigger was the first [game] for which he had served as composer.
 * The game descriptions seem too short to me - also try emphasize connections between games since this article is about the series.
 * This sentence would get ripped to shreds at FAC:  It is regarded today as one of the greatest games ever made.[13] Say who regards it (the ref gives the publisher, but when I looked the author's name is also given). If there are other examples like this, specifics on attribution are always better than generalities.
 * Per WP:WEIGHT the section "Dimensional Adventure Numa Monjar" seems too long and detailed compared with the rest of the article. There is more on a 16 minute promotional film than there is on the games it was made to promote.
 * I think "humorous" is meant instead of "humoristic"
 * A copy edit would be useful here - can also try to read the article aloud.
 * I am not familiar with games and their sources - make sure before FAC that all sources cited meet WP:RS
 * Finally, I would find a model FA on games and use that for ideas, style, etc. While not FA, I reviewed the Halo (series) article recently and it seems a bit more developed in some aspects than this article and may provide some ideas.