Wikipedia:Peer review/Code of Vengeance/archive1

Code of Vengeance
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like this to be certified as a Good Article and eventually, with your help and guidance, perhaps someday as a Featured Article.

Thanks, Dravecky (talk) 21:14, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: I used to sometimes watch Knight-Rider, but do not recall the backdoor pilot. Generally well done and interesting article, here are some suggestions for improvement.
 * I think by WP:LEAD, the alternate titles in the lead should also be in bold: Abbreviations and synonyms: If the subject of the page has a common abbreviation or more than one name, the abbreviation (in parentheses) and each additional name should be in boldface on its first appearance. So I think I would bold (and italicize) "Dalton", "Dalton: Code of Vengeance II" and "Dalton's Code of Vengeance".
 * Done. - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The first time I read this I was a little confused by the lead as I kept thinking it would be a regular series, not the complex set of pilots and movies and brief series it was. I do not write television articles, so this might be against the guidelines, but I wonder if the first lead sentence would be clearer if it mentioned the two movies and the series, so perhaps something like Code of Vengeance is two American television movies and a short-lived television series produced by Universal Television that aired on NBC in 1985 and 1986. (not great, but you get the idea)
 * Reworded. - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Is there any information on the reception of the Knight Rider episode? Reviews? Ratings? I realize this may be difficult to find.
 * There is some information and I'll dig for ratings data but what little I found as reception is Knight Rider fans complaining but that's probably worth a sentence or so ("The episode was poorly received by Knight Rider fans who noted the limited roles of both KITT and Michael Knight."). - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I would wikilink CBS at first mention
 * Done. - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Problem sentence Code of Vengeance, a second pilot starring Charles Taylor, was commissioned for the 1985 pilot season which reimagined David Dalton as a flashback-prone Vietnam veteran who drifts across the country, encountering people in trouble, and helping them to find justice with his unique fighting skills.[3] Is it possible to say who commissioned the second pilot? NBC? Second, this sentence is fairly long and might benfit from being split, and tweaked. Many at FAC do not like verb + ing constructions, so perhaps something like NBC commissioned Code of Vengeance, a second pilot starring Charles Taylor, for the 1985 pilot season. The new pilot reimagined David Dalton as a flashback-prone Vietnam veteran who drifts across the country, encounters people in trouble, and helps them to find justice with his unique fighting skills.[3]
 * Reworded. - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Is there any other way to list the other cast members? This whole with X as "Lawman 1", Y as "Good Girl 2", Z as "Bunky the Sidekick"... construction gets a little tedious when repeated in each movie / episode. Are the roles imnportant enough to be repeated here?
 * Or could the names of some of the actors be incoproated into the plot summaries? Something like Dalton arrives in New Orleans and finds himself the only hope for a produce wholesaler (X)being pressured to sell his property by a powerful real estate developer (Y).[37][38] Other prominaent roles were played by Z and Q.
 * Certainly a few of these can be better integrated into the plot summaries (and I've done that) but given the briefness of the cast lists and the tiny number of episodes I believe I'll leave the remaining names for the moment. It's certainly something I'll consider going forward. - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Should the reader be told there has been a murder first? Dalton investigates then sets out to avenge the brother's murder.[6][7] perhaps something like Dalton investigates and discoveres the the brother has been murdered, which then sets out to avenge.[6][7] would read better?
 * Fixed. - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Sly nod might not be seen as NPOV in In a sly nod to the show's origins, Keenan Wynn's character is shown watching a Knight Rider episode,... - if it is in the source, it could be used as a quote and be OK (In what SOURCE called "a sly nod to the show's origins", Keenan Wynn's character is shown watching a Knight Rider episode,..)
 * Removed the "sly" which while sourced is more trouble to quote and reference than to simply remove. - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Can you say where the novel was released? Of the five official Knight Rider tie-in novels, The 24-Carat Assassin was one of two never released in the United States.[43]
 * Oops. Fixed. - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Watch WP:OVERLINKing - my rule of thumb is generally to link something once in the lead and once in the body of the article, but backdoor pilot is linked 3 times
 * Fixed. - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 21:30, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Refs look OK and images have decent fair-use rationales. I think this is pretty close to GA, but would need a copyedit before a run at FAC.
 * Thank you very much! I appreciate your interest, your comments, and your enthusiasm.  - Dravecky (talk) 00:32, 9 April 2010 (UTC)