Wikipedia:Peer review/Coldplay/archive1

Coldplay
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because My main goal is to get this article to FA status. If you all can mention anything tht may present a problem in any future FA that would be great.

Thanks, Coldplay Expért  Let's talk  23:01, 3 January 2010 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is clear and complete, or nearly so, and well-written. I have a few suggestions for further improvement.


 * The images need alt text, meant for readers who can't see the images. Alt text, required for FA, is not the same as captions. WP:ALT has details, and you can see examples of recent alt text at WP:FAC.

Lead
 * Spell out New Musical Express (NME) on first use?
 * I've spelled it out. Thanks.-- Coldplay Expért Let's talk  19:10, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Actually, list it as NME, given that's the publictation's common name (in fact, that's where the article is located). WesleyDodds (talk) 09:53, 26 January 2010 (UTC)
 * The lead is meant to be a summary of the whole article and should not include anything important that is not covered in the main text sections. Johnny Cash, Kate Bush, and others are mentioned in the lead but not in the text. Could they be worked into the main text somehow?

Formation and first years A Rush of Blood to the Head (2001–04)
 * "To this day, Coldplay consider Harvey to be the fifth member of the group." - Phrases like "to this day", which would be fine in a dated news story, are not so good in an encyclopedia because, undated, they are ambiguous. Something like "Coldplay accepted Harvey as the fifth member of the group" would probably be better.
 * Fixed the wording.-- Coldplay Expért Let's talk  19:17, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
 * The "citation needed" tag should be addressed.
 * "The artwork from the album will be shown on the British stamp starting in January 2010." - I'm not sure what this refers to. What stamp?
 * Has been removed. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  19:06, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

X&Y (2004–06)
 * "actually causing EMI's stock to drop" - Is this the first mention of EMI? They signed early on with Fierce Panda and Parlophone, but when did they sign with EMI? Should EMI be linked? When did Columbia enter the picture?

Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends (2006–09)
 * "Some songs, such as "Violet Hill", contain distorted guitar riffs..." - Wikilink riff?
 * Done. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  19:41, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

Musical style
 * "They also acknowledge the Scottish alternative rock band, Travis, as a major influence on their earlier material." - I'd suggest merging this orphan paragraph with the one above it. You might have to change "they also" to "Coldplay acknowledge" for this to work.
 * Done. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  19:41, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
 * "The band revealed the album seemed to be shaping up with Hispanic influences, after having recorded in churches and other areas in Latin America and Spain during their tour." - A bit roundabout. Suggestion: "After recording in churches and other venues in Latin America and Spain during their tour, the band said the album would likely reflect Hispanic influence."
 * Done-- Coldplay Expért Let's talk  19:50, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

Other
 * I don't get a sense from the article of what the band sings about. There's a little bit in "Musical style" about lyrics, but I think more would be helpful. Do they have any favorite themes? Do they sing about love, friendship, work, food, travel? Are they political? Perhaps a sample or two in the text would sort this out.


 * Do any other bands imitate Coldplay? Have they been an influence on other parts of the music world? If so, this might be added to, perhaps, the "Musical style" section.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 03:13, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

Comments from
 * You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
 * Current ref 19 is lacking a titled link, which it should have. Also, what makes this a reliable source?
 * What makes the following reliable sources?
 * http://www.ukula.com/TorontoArticle.aspx?SectionID=2&ObjectID=1455&CityID=3
 * http://iomusic.com/Bands_and_Artists/C/Coldplay/
 * Replaced.
 * http://www.gigwise.com/news/50675/Coldplay-'Recording-New-Rave-Album
 * Replaced. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  19:06, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
 * http://www.clashmusic.com/news/chris-martin-shows-obama-support
 * Clash is a notable magazine from the UK. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  19:41, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Current refs 79 and 80 are just links, lacking publishers, accessdates, authors, etc.
 * Fixed. -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  19:06, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 16:30, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

Comments—
 * I suggest rewriting the lead entirely, taking cues from the FAs The Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, Joy Division and U2. In particular, remove the list of artists that have inspired them (except maybe the most obvious, i.e. Radiohead) as well as the far too long list of charities. These details can come in the appropriate sub-sections in article's body.
 * Would removing the list of charities and keeping ---> "The group have also performed at various charity projects" help? -- ThinkBlue   (Hit   BLUE)  19:28, 26 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Overall I find the article is far too favourable of Coldplay. No mention has been made of the common criticisms levelled at the band—their blandness, that they are a watered-down Radiohead (A fact acknowledged by Chris Martin: "I don't think we'd be anywhere if Radiohead didn't exist. I think we're like why Diet Coke was big. Because some people couldn't handle Coke. That's how I see Coldplay.")
 * Cut down on touring information, which is fairly routine and repetitive, and concentrate on what is unique to the band. For example: Sentences like "During an interview with Zane Lowe for BBC Radio 1 in October, Martin suggested that the band were trying to book Knebworth House in Hertfordshire for a concert in 2009." and "Beginning with a show in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, the band then embarked on a US club tour in early 2001, along with appearances on: Saturday Night Live, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, and The Late Show with David Letterman" is too trivial to have any interest for the general reader. Instead concentrate on critical reception, musical style and evolution etc. Try to follow those model band FAs I listed above in this regard as well.—indopug (talk) 19:08, 26 January 2010 (UTC)
 * I've removed the sentences that you mentioned.-- Coldplay Expért Let's talk  20:01, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

Comments R.E.M. is the article template you want to try and follow (although you probably won't require a "Legacy" section). For example, compare how that article deals with each album with how the Coldplay page does. It'll also give you a good idea of how to approach and expand the "musical style" section. Aside from that, avoid details like "On 1 October 2009, Coldplay announced another "Latin America Tour" . . ." Wikipedia is not a news site. We're not here to report announcements. Either something happened and it's relevant, or it has yet to happen. And avoid specific day-month-year dates unless absolutely necessary; usually year or month and year are sufficient. WesleyDodds (talk) 11:59, 3 February 2010 (UTC)