Wikipedia:Peer review/Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination/archive1

Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because I want it reviewed before I submit a Good Article nomination. Key questions: is it complete, is anything missing or covered in insufficient detail, are the references up to scratch?

Thanks, IdiotSavant (talk) 23:15, 24 October 2009 (UTC)


 * Comments by Dana Boomer

As you said above that you woulod like to take this article to GAN, I am going to make comments here that I would if I were reviewing the article for that status.
 * The lead needs to be expanded. For an article of this length, 2-3 paragraphs (each about as big as the current one) is appropriate. Also, the lead should be a summary of the entire article, but should not include information that is not in the body of the article.
 * Refs 72 and 73 (UN OHCHR), as well as the third external link, are all giving me error messages when I try to access them.
 * All of the short paragraphs in the Reservations section are jarring. Could these be combined into a few paragraphs of more flowing prose? Same with the Jurisprudence section.
 * Is it likely that all of the redlinked cases in the Jurisprudence section are notable enough to have their own articles in the future? If they do have this notability, they can stay redlinked, but if they are not likely to be notable enough for their own article, they should be delinked.
 * While information on the convention itself and the parties to it is presented admirably, what is missing is outside analysis of the convention and its effects. This convention has been in effect for over 40 years - someone must have done an analysis of it, either in book or article form. Has it actually reduced racial discrimination? What do various religious/ethnic groups have to say about it? The book and two journal articles you reference may have something to say on this subject, and there must be more out there on a convention that has been around for this long. What effect has this convention had on responses to genocides in various European and African countries over the past decades? How about continuing racial discrimination in Middle Eastern countries? This analysis section doesn't need to be huge, but some thoughts on how it has affected the world over the past few decades is necessary for the article to be complete.

Some things that are not required for GA but that you may want to do include:
 * Fixing the dab links. See here for a list.
 * Adding alt text to the image. See WP:ALT.

Overall, this is a very nice article, but needs a bit more research before it goes to GAN. However, what is in the article so far is very good, and only some minor prose and reference tweaks are needed. If you have any questions, please let me know (I have this page watchlisted), and good luck on your quest to GAN. Dana boomer (talk) 02:15, 2 November 2009 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the helpful comments. I've poked at this a bit over the past month, fixed the references, dab links etc.  The Reservations and jurisprudence sections I prefer to leave unchanged for the moment; the reservations in particular follows a format which has already been found to be compatible with GA status.  I've reworked the lead, but leads aren't my strong point (so, please, help).  I've also added a section on the Convention's impact - though I'm concerned that this is getting close to OR.  I'd like a bit more on the application of the Convention outside Europe, but this requires hardcopy references I do not have.
 * next step: GAN. --IdiotSavant (talk) 03:43, 15 November 2009 (UTC)