Wikipedia:Peer review/Cosmo Gordon Lang/archive1

Cosmo Gordon Lang
This peer review discussion has been closed. Lang was once one of the most powerful people in England, and now hardly anyone knows who he was. He thought his career was a failure and he was probably right. It's still a fascinating story, and I've enjoyed compiling it, though it's well beyond my comfort zone of opera and antarctic explorers. Comments on all aspects of the article will be most welcome. Brianboulton (talk) 18:47, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments from
 * Childhood -
 * "In January 1865 the family moved to Glasgow on his father's appointment as a minister in the Anderston district." Wouldn't "In January 1865 the family moved to Glasgow following John Lang's appointment as a minister in the Anderston district." flow a bit better?
 * Done Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I would expect if the Barony Church is historic, that an article would be worthwhile and thus maybe a redlink?
 * Yes, it is worth a redlink. I'll try and do an article for it when time permits. Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "In 1878 Lang sat and passed his matriculation examinations and, within the regulations that then applied was able, at the age of fourteen, to begin his studies at the University of Glasgow." this sentence is incredibly convoluted. Suggest breaking it up somewhat. The section "within the regulations that then applied was able, at the age of fourteen," is especially difficult. Also, shouldn't it be "began" rather than "to begin" in order to agree with the "sat and passed" in the first part?
 * Simplified and reworded. Is that better? Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Oxford -
 * should link disestablishment
 * Linked. Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Probably should link something to explain "Demosthenes" for the classically challenged.
 * Yeah, I'll try and figure a way round WP:LINK says: "Generally items within quotations should not be linked; instead, the relevant links should wherever possible be placed in the surrounding text of the article." Should I ignore this? (later) I've reworded and found a way of linking – tell me if it's OK. Brianboulton (talk) 23:00, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Towards ordination -
 * Need to link/explain "Nonconformist"
 * Now linked. Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Leeds -
 * Surely Lex Mundi are linked?
 * Linked in lead, but I note what you say below, and will do a bit of repeat linking for the obscurer terms. Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Bishop -
 * Which archbishop consecrated him? York or Canterbury?
 * Clarified (Canterbury) Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * General notes -
 * Probably need to relink some things that are linked in the lead but aren't going to be common knowledge - suffragan bishop, etc.
 * Watch the assumptions about various aspects of ecclesiastical history/function. Lots of folks aren't going to undestand the governing structure of the Church of England, etc. Suggest linkage and/or explanations in the text.
 * I will work on these points. Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Sources -
 * What makes http://www.ppu.org.uk/learn/infodocs/people/pst_dick.html a reliable source?
 * Absolutely nothing - a bad choice on my part. I've ditched it and replaced it with Hastings. Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

Thank you for these pointers, and I'll keep working. Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments Brianboulton (talk) 00:50, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Brian, I came across this book discussing Lang's actions during the bombing of May 10, 1941. Maybe it is a useful story to include, I thought it was interesting tidbit http://books.google.com/books?id=0Jn8W5Iq9qsC&pg=PA168&dq=cosmo+lang#v=onepage&q=cosmo%20lang&f=false
 * Also, I thought the Assessment section relied too heavily on one author. I would advise being careful of that and possibly seek out other authors who have a different assessment. Maybe you have already done that and found none, I am not sure. I also do not like how the lead ends saying his career fell short. He seems to have accomplished some interesting things that are not mentioned in the lead like the 1944 Education Act issue. I find that biographies are difficult (I read a lot of them) because the story of the person is colored by the lens of the person writing about him or her. That is why it is better to have at least two authors with different viewpoints in the assessment section just to make sure you aren't POV.  Nancy Heise    talk  20:04, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your comments, Nancy. I'm not sure I understand your saying that the Assessment section over-relies on one author; virtually every viewpoint on Lang is represented in the section - Lockhart, Hastings, Buchanan, friend Ronald Macdonald, Bishop Henson, not to mention Lang's self-assessment. I have added one more assessment to the final paragraph, that of Bishop Bell; unfortunately it is as negative as the rest! That, I'm afraid, is the settled view of Lang - his failure to live up to initial promise. This has to be reflected in the lead. I am sure he did many good things as archbishop - his work for church unity is mentioned several times - but the sources do not highlight these when assessing his career overall. I have to summarise what the sources say. In compiling the article I have dug pretty deep to find the widest range of reliable sources, and I don't think I have left any responsible viewpoint out. I will check out the "bombing" anecdote to see if it can provide a little colour. 22:28, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I read the assessment section over again. I do not see a consensus opinion that his career was a failure. I see that one person joked with him about his portrait, another was upset that he resisted reforms (which some would consider a triumph), and that he himself wished he could have done more. A priest once made a joke at Mass about a man who died and was standing in line in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates. The man happened to be standing behind Mother Teresa and heard St. Peter say to her, "You did well but you could have done more." I don't remember the punchline for the joke, sorry. The point was that even when you do a lot of good, there are always going to be people who criticize you saying you could have done more, even if possibly, you could not have done more - (see and example of this in Pope Pius XII.) I think it is uncharitable and unencyclopedic to include an analysis of Lang at the end of the lead. Perhaps you could say something like "While Lang made many various contributions during his life, he felt as if he could have done more, an analysis with which some scholars have expressed agreement." In any event, I would eliminate the assertion that his career was a failure without at least mentioning that he was continually bestowed with honorary doctorates - for some good reasons possibly.  Nancy Heise    talk  22:28, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Thank you, Nancy, for these comments. However, the consensus view of Lang, from biographers, historians and contemporaries in the Church, is that he did not fulfil his promise. I have yet to find one assessment of him that does not reflect this viewpoint. Of course, he did some good things, but as his main biographer Lockhart says, he had opportunities to do more, and didn't take them. Reasons for this are alluded to in the article – for example his loss of zeal for social reform and his distancing himself from ordinary people, his over-identification with the monarchy and royal circles, his missed opportunity to take control of the Prayer Book controversy.  Lockhart refers to the many conflicting sides of his personality. His career may not have been the "failure" he himself deemed it to be, but it seems that there was indeed a failure of leadership, noted by Hastings and specifically cited by Bishop Bell. This was a man who was an archbishop for over thirty years, and left very little mark on the Church of England – hardly anyone now remembers who he was. I believe that the good things that he did, and the public recognition he received, are fairly covered in the article, but I will look again at the sources, to be sure that I have not been unfair in my final summary.
 * After reading all the assessments again, I have slightly softened the article's ending. Brianboulton (talk) 23:43, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments I knew I had heard the name before, but it wasn't until I got to the Queen Victoria bit that I realized that his role in the Queen's funeral is mentioned in the two recent books on Victoria's death and funeral. One is called Last Days of Glory, I forget the other one. You might want to see if your local library has it, although it is gilding the lily in what is already a fairly long article.

Let me start:
 * Lede:"After ordination in 1890, except for brief service as an Oxford college chaplain his early ministry was served in slum parishes in Leeds and Portsea." Awkward, I'd move the "except" clause to one end of the sentence or the other, at your option.  Also, you  might want to say "Portsmouth" rather than "Portsea".
 * Agreed both points Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "expressed in the Lux Mundi essays.". Troubled by this verb, but don't have a better one.  Suggest you look twice at it.
 * Changed to "advocated" Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "caused consternation in conservative circles by supporting David Lloyd George's 1909 "People's Budget"." Is it "Conservative" or "conservative"?  If you don't mean the party, might want to rephrase to avoid the word.  Also, mismatch between lede and article body, you say here he supported the Budget.  In the body, you say he told the Lords not to oppose it.  That's not the same thing, especially in view of the political gamesmanship going on.  For example, he could have wanted them to pass it so as not to provoke the constitutional crisis that in fact followed, or because he saw the Asquith Government was going to push for a bill reducing the powers of the Lords.  By the time Lang was appointed, Asquith was already making noise about asking the King to create peers to assure the passage of the Budget.
 * Changed "conservative" to "traditionalist". I will look closely at what Lang actually said, and will resolve the mismatch between lead and text. I'm not sure about your last sentence; Lang was appointed in November 1908, long before the budget. My history of the constitutional crisis of 1909-11 says nothing about Asquith contemplation the creation of peers that early. Not relevant to this article, though. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Early life
 * "the name "William" being added inadvertently to his given names," I think you might want to explain how a minister accidently gives his kid an extra name.  Totally.
 * Explanatory text added. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Long afterwards Lang commented on the inability of some of these eminent figures to handle "the Scottish boors who formed a large part of their classes".[3] An exception was Caird, who strongly influenced the young Lang towards thinking for himself." Seems to be a minor non sequitur here.  The first sentence deals with keeping classroom control.  The second deals with being a good teacher by influencing a student.  So "An exception" doesn't seem appropriate.  You might also want to consider ending that paragraph with Lang's view of the nature of God and the Universe.
 * Rephrased the stuff about Caird. The sentence about Lang's mathematical incompetence is relevant because it was this that led him to Oxford rather than Cambridge, from where his career might have taken a quite different course. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Lang's enlightened opinions" Slight POV.  suggest "progressive".
 * Done (and changed earlier mention of "progressive"). Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)


 * "However, he stated, "I must confess that I played sometimes with those external temptations that our Christian London flaunts in the face of its young men."" The "However" seems to oppose the fact that Lang went to church.  People who sin often do.  I'd rephrase to avoid the word "however".
 * Reworded, and lost "however"
 * "Eventually the question entered Lang's mind: "Why shouldn't you be ordained?"" I'd rephrase to avoid the quotation, and perhaps give us more info about what went into Lang's decision.  As it is, it sounds uninformative.
 * Lang lays great stress on this wording, which was how the question persistently came to him, and I think the exact form of words should be kept. As to "what went into Lang's decision", not much information is available. The question persisted, he discussed it with friends, he had his experience in Cuddesdon Church and acted on it. I can add a little, but not much of substance. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * troubled the conscience of his Presbyterian father. Since we don't understand why the father would feel guilty about it, if he did, why not just strike the words "the conscience of"?
 * I've reworded the father sentence entirely. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Early career
 * "He later moved next door to another condemned property". The first building was not condemned, just derelict.  I imagine in Britlish, "condemned" means it is ordered torn down by authority?  Also, the sentence is ambiguous, it is unclear if you mean he moved into the condemned property or next door to it.  I imagine next door but...
 * Clarified, I think. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "His first sermon in the parish church was interrupted by a parishoner's apoplectic fit, but Lang later became a forceful preacher." I don't understand the "but", since the parishoner (is that correctly spelled in Britlish?) and his episode do not reflect on Lang's skill as a speaker.  Unless apoplectic is being used in the modern sense (rage) and the guy was angry because his preacher was so unforceful ... suggest a few adjustments here.
 * I've cut the sentence - it's not important enough to spend time or add words on. And you were right about the misspelling of parishioner. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "("College Chaplain" in ordinary parlance) Surely lower case?
 * agreed. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Lang, I mean long article. Will do the rest in a bit. Very interesting article.--Wehwalt (talk) 13:40, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I'll do the rest shortly. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

OK,
 * Bishop and canon
 * "and at a Church Congress in Great Yarmouth in 1907 he pondered on how the Church's should react to this." By the next sentence, I'm gathering he said something out loud, but isn't pondering usually something you do silently?
 * I imagine you can ponder aloud, as you can think out loud, but I changed it to "speculated"
 * "the New York Times. It's The New York Times.  I'm looking at the editorial.  The word "demagoguery" doesn't seem to appear in it.  The relevant part is "The cry of the demagogue is in the air."  I won't quote further, you have it as well as me, but I don't think it is referring to Lang, but rather to what people in his sub-diocese, where there is intense poverty, are saying.  They are the demogogues, not him.  The piece seems sympathetic to him, it kinda implies he is a bit naive.
 * Yes, I used the source poorly. It's clear the NYT wasn't accusing Lang of demagoguery; rather it was offering him a gentle warning about the "cry of the demagogue". I have reworded accordingly. Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Lang knew something of the area from his undergraduate activities at Toynbee Hall; nevertheless his conscience was troubled by the squalor that he saw as he travelled around the district, usually by bus and tram." Again, a mild non sequitor.  He knew about it, nevertheless his conscience was troubled.  Of course, if he didn't know about it, his conscience wouldn't be troubled!  Suggest replace "nevertheless" with "and".
 * Done Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Lang preached in wealthier parishes throughout Southern England to raise revenue for the Fund." This sentence almost implies that you had to pay to hear him preach, which I don't think was the case.  How about, "Lang preached in wealtheir parishes thought Southern England, and urged his listeners to contribute to the Fund."?
 * Done Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Archbishop of York
 * "Such promotion for a suffragan was without recent precedent". In the lede, you say "His rapid elevation to Archbishop of York, within eighteen years of his ordination, is almost unprecedented in modern Church of England history."  Those two are not consistent, if we assume "recent" and "modern Church of England history" to mean the same thing.  Keep in mind that if someone did it after Lang, it is not precedent.
 * I believe lead and text are now consistent. Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Diocese of Sheffield, which was finally inaugurated at Pentecost, 1914.". Since we are not told when Lang started the project, the word "finally" is slightly problematic because there is no telling of a delay.
 * I have removed "finally". Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "The Westminster Gazette called this was" minor rephrase needed.
 * Done Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "an "Appeal to all Christian People", described by Hastings as "one of the rare historical documents that does not get forgotten with the years."" If so, it should at least be a redlink.
 * I've given it a redlink. I wonder who will write the article? Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "marriage of the Duke of York". I'd suggest that the pipe should be to "the Duke of York" for George VI, since Duke of York has its own article.
 * Fixed Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Archbishop of Canterbury
 * "probably the first" Perhaps "believed to be the first".  As probably is probably not the best word.
 * You are probably right. Changed
 * "Hastings maintains" Suggest "Hastings" be preceded with "Church historian" ... been a while since the reader has seen him.
 * He's mentioned earlier in this paragraph, and I've attached a description there. Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Joint Committee upon the Indian Constitution" I see this also on the web as the "Joint Committee on Indian Constitutional Reform".  You might want to check for the proper name.
 * Lots of different names on the web, ncluding "Joint Committee on the Indian Constitution". None of them follow Lockhart's strangely stilted "upon". I've altered this to "on". Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "I'd dump the Munich agreement photo. Lang had no connection with it.  The photo of Edward VIII is justifiable, given Lang's connection with the Royals.
 * Lang supported it; he said it came from the Hand of God. However, I agree its relevance is pretty marginal, and I'll reconsider its use. Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "Lang led deputation". Is this proper Britlish?
 * It should (and now does) read "led a deputation" Brianboulton (talk) 21:56, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Lang's post-Abdication speech. Can we have a quote from it?  Also, is there any evidence that Lang's stand was based more on his strained relationship with Edward and his hope that his status with the Royals would be restored if Edward was out of the picture?
 * I have added a couple of quotes from Lang's speech. As to the second question, there is no suggestion that Lang's stand was other than he maintained. He had strict views on marriage, and on how members of the Royal Family should behave. Brianboulton (talk) 22:33, 18 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Retirement and death: No comments
 * Assessment. The cassock is a very odd way to start off this section, almost trivia.  I know little about the Anglican Church except as a reasonably well informed lay person of another faith, but it doesn't seem to me to be relevant to Lang's historical place.  It may well be, but it hasn't conveyed to me.
 * It was a mistake to lead off with the cassock, but the point about the cassock and mitre is not trivial. Until around the time Lang became Archbishop of York, such dress was avoided by Church of England prelates because it was seen as part of the uniform of Roman Catholicism. By adopting a cassock and mitre, Lang was making a small political statement of affinity with Rome. As Hasting says, Lang discreetly catholicised the C of E; his dress code (eventually followed by nearly all his successors)was a part of this process. I have revised the first paragraph of the section to clarify this, and I hope this answers your point. Brianboulton (talk) 22:33, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * "At the same time he constantly sought paths to reunion with all branches of the worldwide church; his 1939 visit to the Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople is regarded as the high point of his ecumenical record." If this is an important event in Lang's career, surely it shouldn't wait for the assessment section?
 * I have put this back into the article proper.Brianboulton (talk)

Overall comments: Brian, it's your usual very strong effort, and I'm sure it will do fine at FAC. I'd suggest two things, neither of which should be difficult. First, try to explain a bit inline when it comes to the more obscure church terms. Second, I'm bothered by the assessment section, which seems to me to include trivia and anecdote--I'd consider getting rid of the next to last pagagraph (Lord High Almoner, GCVO and painting). Consider trying to streamline a bit so the section is a bit more analytical. The quote from Bell is quite good (I imagine he's saying the C of E should be able to control its own prayer book without Parliament and that Lang should have pounded the table once the modification was rejected? Consider saying so, if Bell says so!) and the last paragraph is a really good conclusion. That's about it. I'll keep an eye on things.--Wehwalt (talk) 15:11, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your thorough comments. On your final thoughts on the assessment section, I don't think Lang's receiving the GCVO (a very senior order of knighthood), his honorary doctorates or his appointment as almoner are trivial - they are indicators of the status he had during his lifetime. As to the painting, the object of mentioning it is to include Henson's silky remark, which I believe captures brilliantly what Lang's church contemporaries thought of him. I can add no more to what Bishop Bell said; I guess your interpretation is right, but since he didn't say it in this way we must leave it as it stands. I will continue to tinker, and will watch what other reviewers have to say. Any further remarks from you will be welcome. Brianboulton (talk) 22:33, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I'd agree with Brian on this, the GCVO and almoner in particualr show his continuing links with the Royal Family, the Royal Victorian Order benig one of the very few remaining honours that is awarded purely by the monarch, not on the "advice" of the PM of the day-though perhaps this is one of those issues taht could be highlighted slightly, as it won't be widely undestood outside the UK (and perhaps not even in it). David Underdown (talk) 10:14, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Couldn't the honours go in the infobox? As for the putdown line, that is a particularly British sort of thing (I can think of several involving Churchill alone), but I still question whether it is relevant to an evaluation of Lang, which is what the final section really should be all about.--Wehwalt (talk) 06:14, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * infoboxes are intended to be an extremely high-level summary of the article, I've always understood that if you put something in the lead or an infobox, it should be covered properly in the article. David Underdown (talk) 10:02, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I have added a bit about the nature of the GCVO as the gift of the Sovereign, and have moved this information up to the paragraph that summarises Lang's relationship with the Royal Family. I hope that this meets the criticism. Brianboulton (talk) 23:12, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Well ... I wouldn't call it criticism. But yeah, that's fine, I was mulling that over, actually.  The GCVO is an excellent illustration of the strong relationship he had with the Royal Family during George V's life.  Incidently, on the Mrs. Simplson thing, what about "relationship" rather than "affair"?  It is a much looser term, and is more flexible in case there's any disputes.--Wehwalt (talk) 23:16, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Good idea, thanks, I'll change it (again). Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * BTW, I looked at "Last Days of Glory", and the author relies entirely on sources you already have for the mentions of Lang. Like Willy and Ed praying together at Vicky's coffin, that kinda thing.--Wehwalt (talk) 18:27, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments from Tim riley

This is a cracking article, which I have relished reading. I've just run across it an hour since, and will, I promise, post some more considered comments shortly. But three quickies:


 * On the abdication, Mrs Simpson was rather more than the king's "friend". I think you might strengthen "of the king's friendship with the American divorcée..." to "affair" or some such.
 * Ok, "affair" it is
 * Have you considered "relationship"?--Wehwalt (talk) 06:14, 21 August 2009 (UTC)


 * If the alternative last line of the Bullett verse is, as memory tells me, "You Old Lang Swine..." I'd quote that (with citation) in your footnote.
 * I've added the alternative lines into the footnote (I prefer the original, myself)

"...Lang complained that his new portrait by Sir William Orpen made him look 'proud, prelatical, and pompous'. 'And may I ask Your Grace to which of these epithets Your Grace takes exception?' Henson allegedly asked in reply." This is a palpable hit, meseems. Later: Whoops! I now see it's there already! Apologies! But how right Dr Henson was! 
 * It would be a pity to miss Bishop Henson's devastating swipe at Lang, as quoted in the ODNB:

More anon. Tim riley (talk) 17:31, 18 August 2009 (UTC)


 * My only general query on this really excellent article is the proliferation of capital letters, which (to my eye, at least) rather break flow: Literature, Principal, Men's Conference, Acting Chaplain, Southern, Honorary Chaplain, Dean and Chapter, Service of Thanksgiving, Canon in Residence, Diocese of, Private Secretary, Domestic Chaplain, Christian Reunion etc passim. Both the ODNB and The Guardian go to the opposite extreme (earl of Derby, lord chancellor and so on) but there is a happy medium.
 * There was some discussion about capitalisation on the article's talkpage, in the early stages of the expansion. It was agreed that formal offices (Archbishop of York, Prime Minister, Dean and Chapter etc) should be capitalised, though not general references to bishops, archbishops etc. I have tried to follow this, also to some extent being guided by general usage and by what appears in the sources. I will check through for instances of overcapitalisation. although I can't accept that the ODNB approach is right. Brianboulton (talk) 21:49, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * (Later): I have removed about a dozen caps; a few more have gone courtesy of another editor acting independently. I think the "happy medium" is probably achieved now. Brianboulton (talk) 22:50, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Excellent! The eye has a less bumpy ride along the line now. Tim riley (talk) 16:57, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Other one-off comments, none of earth-shattering importance:


 * Lead
 * "is almost unprecedented in modern Church of England history" – some purist souls might say a thing is either precedented or it isn't. I see you are more emphatic in the main body of the article, declaring it to be unprecedented sans phrase.
 * Raised by a previous reviewer. I meant to remove the "almost" but forgot.Brianboulton (talk) 21:49, 19 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Oxford
 * "he was chided by the Master of Balliol" – I can’t find "chided" in the OED, which gives "chidden" as the ppl. Perhaps "reproved" or "rebuked" might be preferable? [Later: that comment was premature - I have now found this in the OED: "1897 Daily News 15 Apr. 6/3 We..notice with interest that Mr. Meredith, after vacillating in former editions between ‘chid’ and ‘chidded’, has now resolved that the past tense of ‘to chide’ is ‘chided’."]


 * Portsea
 * "extremely disciplined pastoral professionaliam" - typo
 * Fixed


 * Archbishop of York
 * "a letter from Mr Asquith" - "Mr" strikes an odd note. Perhaps "H H"?
 * Herbert - fixed


 * Archbishop of Canterbury
 * "Lang was notified by Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin that he would be the successor" – this reads as though Lang was given no option in the matter, but presumably he was invited to accept?
 * I don't think it worked that way. I'll check what the sources say (I'm away from home until Friday so sans my books at present), but I'm pretty sure acceptance was assumed (I imagine there would have been some sort of informal sounding). Brianboulton (talk) 21:49, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * OK, Lang's version is: " (the) Prime Minister told me he proposed to recommend me to the King as the next Archbishop of Canterbury ... I asked whether I might have some time to consider his proposal. He at once said: "No, it is inevitable ... your one and only duty is to say Yes." So I think my paraphrase is pretty accurate - Lang was given no real choice. Brianboulton (talk) 16:38, 21 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Abdication crisis
 * "Lang was responsible for drafting the King George V's silver jubilee broadcast message" – redundant definite article here, I think.
 * Fixed
 * "Prime Minister Baldwin" – not a very idiomatic English usage.
 * Well, I've certainly seen the usage. Will reconsider when looking at the capitalisation issue. Brianboulton (talk) 21:49, 19 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Retirement and death
 * "Prime Minister Churchill" - ditto


 * Assessment
 * "final sentinel to the ancien regime" – this is a quote, and I haven't seen the original source, but it might be worth checking if Hastings wrote "ancien régime" with the acute accent.
 * I'll check that when I'm back home. Brianboulton (talk) 21:49, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Very well spotted; I have inseted the missing accent. Brianboulton (talk) 16:38, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

That's my meagre gleaning. Hope it's of use. Tim riley (talk) 09:34, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments As requested, I have read the article and have a few minor comments / questions to try and improve what is already an excellent article. Hope this helps, well done Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 21:07, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * In "Childhood and family" the present tense is used to describe Lang's quote  Glasgow, Cosmo attended the Park School, a day establishment where he won a prize for an essay on English Literature and played football intermittently; otherwise, he says, "I was never greatly interested in [the school's] proceedings."[2] This might be British English vs American, but it sounds odd to me - Lang is dead and the quote was made in the last century (and millennium), so using the present tense seems odd. I would write "otherwise, he said..."
 * Similar problem / concern with "University of Glasgow" section's Lang recalls how, in a revelation as he was passing through Kelvingrove Park, he expressed aloud his sudden conviction ...
 * Missing word in the "Oxford" section perhaps? Lang started at Balliol in October 1882. In his first term he successfully sat for the Brakenbury Scholarship, described by [his?] biographer Lockhart as ...
 * Probably should have a ref for FAC - and the following year was a co-founder of the Oxford University Dramatic Society (OUDS).
 * Would a link to churchwarden help in became the Settlement's first warden,[8][9] while Lang became one of its first undergraduate secretaries.?
 * Would it help to add "College" to He rejected a tempting offer of the chaplaincy of All Souls [College?], as he wanted to be "up and doing" in a tough parish.[14]
 * I would also link curate at first occurence in Leeds, as well as public house (non British readers might not know either term)
 * In the St. Paul's section, is a comma missing in His preaching on Sunday afternoons caught the attention of William Temple[,] Lang's future successor at both York and Canterbury, who was then an undergraduate at Oxford.?
 * His ashes were taken to "the Chapel of St Stephen the Martyr" but the photo caption calls it the "Chapel of St Stephen Martyr" - which is it?
 * I know links in quotes are discouraged, but perhaps Cardinal Wolsey should be linked
 * Thank you for these comments, which I have mostly fixed per your suggestions. The OUDS citation will have to wait until I get home tomorrow and can check my books. The Warden of a Settlement is a completely different office from "churchwarden"; none of the offices listed on the dab page really suit so I think best not to link. "All Souls" is very generally known as such, without "College" attached except in formal circumstances. I had linked "curacy" in the Leeds section, but have now linked curate as well. Finally, if I link Wolsey, would I be expected to link St Francis as well? Your time much appreciated. Brianboulton (talk) 22:09, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I knew who St Francis was, but was not sure on Wolsey. Others might be unsure on both, so if one is linked I guess it makes sense to link both. Does Wiktionary have a link for the kind of warden meant (churchwarden was a guess on my part)? Glad to be of service, Ruhrfisch &gt;&lt;&gt; &deg; &deg; 23:28, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * OK, I have cited Lang's role in the foundation of OUDS; I've changed "warden" to "leader", to avoid any confusion as to Barnett's role. I have linked Wolsey, even though this is in a quote, and if anyone objects I shall blame it all on User:Ruhrfisch! Brianboulton (talk) 16:38, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Final comment: I would like to thank all the editors who have contributed to this comprehensive review, which has been of considerable benefit to the article. I have added a little text to the assessment section to address Nancy's concern, and have also included an interesting comment by Lang, made after the Guernica bombing during the Spanish Civil War - thanks to User:GeometryGirl. Brianboulton (talk) 16:43, 24 August 2009 (UTC)