Wikipedia:Peer review/Curt Roberts/archive1

Curt Roberts
This peer review discussion has been closed. I've listed this article for peer review because… First subject of a series of articles I'm planning to work on some of the most tragic baseball figures in history. Here's the story of the first black player in Pittsburgh Pirates history. Started his rookie season, but had a short Major League career. After spending about 8 years trying to return to the Majors, he retired and was killed by drunk driver soon after. What's sad is that nearly all his former teammates didn't know about his death until almost 20 years later, when the local newspaper decided to do a piece on Roberts. But he had a huge and very unstated impact in baseball along the way. A bit on the shorter side, but I want to see if this is FA material.

Thanks, Secret account 22:06, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

Comments short article but a lot to say about it! The Rambling Man (talk) 19:11, 22 April 2012 (UTC)
 * One dab link, "ground out" needs to be fixed.
 * Could mention in the lead he was mostly referred to as "Curt" since the lead starts with Curtis...
 * "became the first black Major League player for the Pirates. After becoming the " became, becoming... reads a little repetitive.
 * "and weighed 165 lb (75 kg)" in the lead, was his weight important, you said he was considered "short" (not short and fat, short and slim... whatever)...
 * As a complete outsider, I find the infobox a little confusing because it's presumably (?) an MLB box, although that's not clear really. Roberts played for more than just one team but someone scanning the infobox will get a slightly skewed impression.
 * Also, though outside this review, no reason for that infobox to have bold links...
 * FAC is good aspiration, mostly though they don't like refs in the lead because you shouldn't be saying stuff in the lead that isn't expanded in the main part of the article.
 * "the same high school Frank Robinson, Vada Pinson, Bill Russell and Curt Flood, who went to all within a few years of each other.[3]" not sure of the grammar, and as a non-expert, no idea who those people are so worth just saying "future MLBers" or something similar.
 * "for a $10,000 sum.[7][5]" always prefer seeing refs in numerical order.
 * "Roberts two errors" needs an apostrophe.
 * "were competing for the second base job" -> "... teammates competed for second base..."
 * "Roberts had his " had or "made"?
 * "Later Career" -> "Later career" per WP:HEAD.
 * "becoming an journeyman in" grammar.
 * "He played.." new para so "Roberts played..."
 * "When his baseball career ended, Roberts worked as" not Roberts here, just he.
 * "an assistant to a radiation laboratory" in, not to.
 * "most of Roberts old teammates" apostrophe.
 * "Roberts couldn't hit with" avoid contractions.
 * "the most notable whom was" grammar.
 * "were black.[4][2]" ref order.
 * "Negro League greats," no doubt true but non-encyclopedic without direct quotes.
 * Refs - pg. or p.?
 * Use en-dashes in refs per WP:DASH.
 * Avoid the double period (e.g. "Reference LLC..")

I fixed all the concerns. With the dab link, like I mentioned in the GA review, the term is perfectly explained and there isn't much of a suitable article for it so this is one of the few exceptions in which it is ok. With the infobox, I put the Monarchs but minor league teams can't be in the infobox per normal baseball guidelines of MLB players. And the bolding comes from the infobox template so I can't do much about it. Thanks Secret account 23:35, 22 April 2012 (UTC)

Comments – Found some interesting sources that might help in expanding the article. Not sure how much these sources will help you, but hopefully they will assist in resolving potential concerns about the article's length. Giants2008 ( Talk ) 01:24, 5 May 2012 (UTC)
 * This has some interesting material on Roberts' minor league career and why his major league career didn't last longer.
 * This mentions forms of racism he faced and some things about his fielding ability.
 * This discusses how often Roberts got hit by pitches in 1951 and says it was part of a pattern of black players getting hit in the Western League.
 * This says that he set a Pacific Coast League errorless games record in 1955.