Wikipedia:Peer review/Damageplan/archive1

Damageplan


This peer review discussion has been closed. I hope to get this article to FA standards. Short but sweet eh.

Thanks, M3tal H3ad (talk) 04:42, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

J Milburn

 * "US marine" Shouldn't that be "U.S. Marine", and a link to United States Marine Corps would be good.
 * "and that they had stolen his lyrics" Claimed that they had? Believed that they had?
 * "vocalist as Rob Halford rejoined Judas Priest and he did not have a job" I really don't like this sentence.
 * "The album was recorded at the brothers' backyard studio, Chasin' Jason in Arlington, Texas where previous Pantera albums were recorded." Comma after 'Texas'.
 * "music critics, Christine Klunk of PopMatters commented" -> "music critics, with Christine Klunk, of PopMatters, commenting"
 * "The murder of Dimebag Darrell" Remove "the"- avoid definate and indifinate articles in section/page titles.
 * "Thompson, however was killed" Comma after 'however'.
 * "however he was approached" I think 'but' would sound better than 'however'.
 * "was setup called" In that case, set up is two words.
 * "of drum technician John Brooks, and tour manager Chris Paluska" Either remove that comma, or add another one after 'Paluska'.
 * "Niggemeyer was nominated for a bravery award on the TV show America's Most Wanted, although did not win." Reference?
 * "studio, Chasin' Jason where" Comma after 'Jason'.
 * He found the quote was authentic and referred to him" Too many 'he's and 'him's.
 * "Anselmo is the vocalist of the bands Down and Superjoint Ritual." Ref?
 * Can we have refs for the chart positions?
 * ""Ashes to Ashes" was featured The Punisher: The Album and contains a guest appearance by Jerry Cantrell." Ref?

It's not bad, expecially considering the fact the band has only released one album, but still lacks something. J Milburn (talk) 14:23, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. I will continue to read interviews to find info to bring it to FA. M3tal H3ad (talk) 03:02, 13 February 2008 (UTC)


 * A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 05:30, 14 February 2008 (UTC)